c o u c h 38 - The dark ages....

sorry you're having a rough time with your T, CE.

So my hair lifted to red.

Okay...damn that was too big. Good thing this thread moves fast.

Now I put blue in it and look like a Smurf!

I hardly ever bother with quotes and expect people to magically work out what I'm talking about.

I like that red Chopin. Blue is good too! I always wished I could pull off bright red, but I'm sure it would look awful on me. Hairdresser told me to stick to cool tones too. I started off as white blonde as a child and am now nothing like blonde...so maybe one day I'll dye it back to the colour I've had for most of my life...because it's taken a long time to get to it's current non red shade of brown. I find it quite flat (my hairdresser always compliments it and says my natural highlights are nice, but maybe she's just nice).

Thanks NL...my hair is naturally dark brown with reddish-gold highlights. I once sprayed a hydrogen peroxide, lemon juice and water mix on my hair for a month and it turned gold. Then I dyed it red. Then I went dark brown and let it fade into natural. Then I decided to go red again, then when it faded, got gold and red highlights put in it. Stayed that way until December, dyed it black, then have unsuccessfully tried to put first a blue, then an aqua cast on it. So now the bleach and the dye. It's probably gonna be fried.

I've gotten the most compliments on the black.

Thinking about it, I don't think I could actually stand to go back to blonde because of having to deal with darker roots all the time. Maybe I'll stick with my boring shade of flat brown!

I think I've made up my mind.

Initiate termination sequence!

That sounds like a painful place to be in CE. Sometimes I find it help me to make up my mind once I'm there with T, because sometimes when I'm so sure it's the end, it hasn't been. It doesn't stop me planning for the worst though and riding a horrible roller coaster that I wish I could get off, in that in between time.

We'll be here to listen, whatever happens between now and then, and after your next session too.

Thank you very much for your support.

But remember this: if I get it wrong, T will always take me back!

I've never left mine, but I've come so close. I think she'd take me back too, if that's what I needed.

I've done it four times. A source of pride and shame.

I'm not proud of the two or three times I've now told my T that I was not coming back or that the next session would be the last. I'm not usually one for dramatic statements like that unless I follow through, but I've been so sure each time that it was the end. Then T comes through for me again, when I've given up and least expect it. Hopefully she comes through for me once she's back, but it's hard to tell.

... and personality testing in 2 hours, with interpretation tomorrow.

I can't believe I agreed to this.

I have no personal experience of that, but I hope it's easier than you're imagining Ellie. I'm sure it'll be all over and done before you know it.

An IQ test would be thing thing I couldn't agree too. Ugh.

Okay...two sets of results after a funny (well, now it's funny) story. So the blue dye I put on didn't seem to stick, so I used some more dye. When I rinsed it out, my hair was copper. I was so p**sed off. H woke up to go to work and found me in the bathtub, scrubbing the hell out of my hair. I said when I get up to go to work (2pm or so), I'd have to re-dye my hair black. He left and I decided to go ahead and dry my hair (sorry it's big):

Turquoise blue. Who'd a thunk it?

Good day everyone. I'm going to bed.

That looks amazing!

Sleep well Chopin.

I see the blue now!! Good night Chopin.

Good morning everyone else.

And so you've decided to implement the ultimate display of your power in the situation.

Hey man, we've all done it. Completely understand.

The one I quit on always let me come back as well.

In the end, though, it was always a combination of I, like you, needed someone to acknowledge how hard this was and being scared out of my mind.

I wish you well on this journey my friend. We'll be here.

Late to the convo, but I wanted to say.. I am with you MKAC. Really, is there anything wrong with that??

Morning Healed.

Who needs to read 50 Shades of Gray when you have the couch to catch up on?

Ack. Ack. Ack. Did not need pictures in my head.

StopDog: I like that article. Interesting, it's the first time I have seen the saga of dealing with your aging tormentors written down. It is quite the bind. I didn't care for my father, he died alone. He deserved to die alone, but I was riddled with guilt afterwards.

Who I want to be: Aticus Finch.

Marriage: Someone actually asked me on Sunday how we were so happy after 30 yrs. I told her it wasn't always that way, and it came from suffering thru very rough times together. The fact that I can catch his gaze from across the room and know exactly what he's thinking helps a lot. Also, we separated for a bit, so we know the alternative and don't want it.

Ellie: How'd it go?

CE: Are you happy now that you've won?

Good morning Wiki!

Good Morning Everyone.... can't stay long...