[adam_k]

Some problems with my insurance and after 6 months of therapy I find out my therapist isn't part of my insurance network. I have crappy insurance to begin with but out of network is worse. I'm just fed up with therapy. I owe a bunch of money and now I feel abandoned by all of it. I could get another T but the thought of restarting deters me. It all feels so hopeless.

I'm better than I was months ago, but I'm still not were I want to be. I still get depressed more than I should, along with dark thoughts associated with depression. I don't have much self worth. The meds help me function but that doesn't seem like living to me. I don't know what its like to be happy I woke up out of bed. To me life feels like a constant disappointment only eased up by moments of feeling ok.

Therapy just seems pointless anymore. I guess I'm just losing hope in getting better and settling for just dealing with life. Not sure what to do. Just want to sink in a hole and be alone.

[jadedbutterfly]

I am sorry you are going through this. Insurance companies are jerks!
I can relate to your thought;
Therapy just seems pointless anymore. I guess I'm just losing hope in getting better and settling for just dealing with life. Not sure what to do. Just want to sink in a hole and be alone.
And starting with a new T is such an ordeal... It's like they can't be bothered to look at your chart, they want to hear it all from you.... who needs to do that every time?
I hope that you can find some support.... T or .someone just to talk things through.... to vent.
Until then vent here ... we will listen, give hugs

[unaluna]

Sorry to hear that. But I always remember what one of the best guys I ever worked with said - he was a computer programmer like me, not a t - and that was that once you have kids, you don't have time to be sick or depressed - you just get up and do it because you have to do it for them. Like I said, he was a realky realky great guy. I couldn't do what he did. But you made choices, and you have support, and you have a job - that's a lot, really. You're starting down a new path of life. And we are always here to support you.

[anilam]

Originally Posted by hankster

Sorry to hear that. But I always remember what one of the best guys I ever worked with said - he was a computer programmer like me, not a t - and that was that once you have kids, you don't have time to be sick or depressed - you just get up and do it because you have to do it for them. Like I said, he was a realky realky great guy. I couldn't do what he did. But you made choices, and you have support, and you have a job - that's a lot, really. You're starting down a new path of life. And we are always here to support you.

Sorry but that's what healthy ppl can say and I must say I find it a bit offensive- a true depression won't just magically disappear when you don't have time for it (i.e. have kids). It's a real disease and needs a proper treatment. Ppl with kids still can be depressed- like my mother- she loves us dearly, it's a great mother but somedays she is stricken with depression and can't get out of bed.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by anilam

Sorry but that's what healthy ppl can say and I must say I find it a bit offensive- a true depression won't just magically disappear when you don't have time for it (i.e. have kids). It's a real disease and needs a proper treatment. Ppl with kids still can be depressed- like my mother- she loves us dearly, it's a great mother but somedays she is stricken with depression and can't get out of bed.

I dont disagree with you. But adam is the dad. Better hormones?

[anilam]

Originally Posted by hankster

I dont disagree with you. But adam is the dad. Better hormones?

Really, pulling the hormonal card? Don't even get me started on that one...

[Victoria'smom]

you have a lot of things you still want to work on. I would suggest trying again.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by anilam

Really, pulling the hormonal card? Don't even get me started on that one...

I know. When I was doing standup comedy in the 80's, one of my jokes was, "they say women can't be president because they're under the influence of their hormones one week out of the month. But men are under the influence of their hormones EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR... If you're lucky!"

Sorry for the hijack.

[adam_k]

In general I don't get to emotional on the surface. I've been describe as stoic and manly. That is not to say I deal with thins well all of the time. Instead of getting emotional and clinging or crying out for help I tend to isolate myself and push everyone away.

I looked at my insurance and today they listed her as a network providor. Maybe I can keep going. It has been since febuary that have been seeing her and they assured me she was on thief network. Lastweek they re-submitted the paperwork to be a network providor. I guess it all went thru but I don't know if they will fix my bills. Her office hasn't sent me a bill since march.

I think having kids gives you a reason to hang on and maybe provides a sense of completeness to life, but I doubt children will cure depression. I don't think when my child is born in march that all of this will go away. I do think I am much less likely to end things having a child. I couldn't do that to them. Having a parent kill themselves would mess someone up for life and I am sure no matter what they will blame themselves. In a way it is good for me that it is happening, but I don't think it will make me less depressed or happy with everything.

[Perna]

I'm glad the insurance payment issue may be getting better.

I think depression, like a lot of other illnesses can take quite a bit of time to "fix". I would just arbitrarily assume that eventually I'll feel better and work toward that. I know I was in therapy for my anxiety issues for 9+ years and they didn't really start getting genuinely better until year 6 or 7.

[Big Mama]

will your T make a deal w/ you that you can afford to pay with out insurance. We cannot afford ours even with insurance. The T submit sit anyway, and that knocks off some. But then she only charges us 33. 33 a session which is 100.00 for every 3. She also gives us a free visit for a birthday present, of a Christmas gift, or Easter gift. She can also write off so many visits as charity. She some times even says "OOPS" forgot to charge you last week oh well guess you don't have to pay, I have no record of you being here.

Have you asked and explained your issue.

[adam_k]

Originally Posted by Big Mama

will your T make a deal w/ you that you can afford to pay with out insurance. We cannot afford ours even with insurance. The T submit sit anyway, and that knocks off some. But then she only charges us 33. 33 a session which is 100.00 for every 3. She also gives us a free visit for a birthday present, of a Christmas gift, or Easter gift. She can also write off so many visits as charity. She some times even says "OOPS" forgot to charge you last week oh well guess you don't have to pay, I have no record of you being here.

Have you asked and explained your issue.

I think she would be willing to work something out. They may be able to get something from the insurance. At least now she is listed as a network provider. I see her Monday and can talk to her about it.

According to my insurance it is $125 a session. If I paid cash it may be cheaper. My copay is $60 with a network provider.