T called me 'sick'

It can be pretty shocking to hear the first time but think about it this way - if you had a physical illness being called "sick" wouldn't seem like such a surprise. It is so easy to forget mental illness is just that, an illness. It is not something to feel ashamed of.

My T once made a comment about me "not feeling well" in regards to my depression/anxiety issues and it caught me off guard as well so I understand how you feel.

All of this is labeling, it's demeaning, and Ts should be aware enough to avoid such language. It's also just unnecessary--it is very easy to describe behaviors rather than label people. I'm sorry so many have had this experience.

Perhaps the fact that my T never used such language is part of why I always felt respected.

Do you think that this is something that I should bring up with my T? Have those of you that have had similar situations brought it up with yours? Did they respond well or were they more defensive?

I have. And I learned a lot. My prior therapist did not respond well (although not awful, but didn't really own her part) and it was a sign I should have paid attention to (that rel'ship eventually ended, and it wasn't pretty). My current therapist responds so well that I have a very warm feeling of deep appreciation for him, and I'm able to trust him more than before we had something to work out. And one time I brought up something he was doing that I found distracting and untherapeutic, and he was very open to it and then collaborated with me on how to change things so it worked for me. I'm still sometimes nervous to bring something up, but it's only been a few times and he is always not just gracious, but also therapeutic. He doesn't just apologize. In fact, I'm not sure if he ever utters the words "I'm sorry." But he thinks about it, and owns what he thinks he did, and won't own what he thinks is mine, but is very gentle and supportive with that.

I think bringing it up can be risky, but then I wonder what I am risking - a therapeutic relationship that I have to hide some feelings. With the former T I thought I could make that work. And it did, sort of, for several months. But it didn't last.
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Thanks Syra - I just emailed my T with, basically the same things that I said here (with an added couple 'I'm sorry's). I hope it isn't taken the wrong way...and that she responds soon.

Yes, you should absolutely bring it up with your T. When I bought up my T's comments with her, we discussed it and why I had the reaction I did and why she felt the need to say what she did. It was an open and honest conversation, just like all of my conversations with T are. She was not at all defensive. Actually, as soon as she said it, she looked at me, and said "that doesn't sit well with you, does it." I told her that it didn't, but I needed to think about why. We revisited it the very next session.

I hope it goes well, and I hope whatever happens, you can find growth from it.

I jsut remembered a time in my life when a professional (special ed teacher) wanted me to acknowledge that my child was "sick" and my lack of doing that was evidence of denial. I wasn't sure she was "sick" but I thought we wouldn't know until services and treatment were provided. I got so tired of it, I eventually said "What is it you think you will know if I admit my child is "sick." I'm doing the work at home you want. I have him in school everyday. I engage with the teachers. That's better than a lot of people who are admitting what you want them to admit"

When I put it terms of behaviors they wanted, instead of labels, we did much better.

I don't know if this is helpful to you. I don't know if your therapist wants you to "admit" you are sick, or just said something not realizing it would be a trigger.

I'm not sure either... I guess we'll find out though. My T emailed me back and said that she doesn't think it's stupid, but she does think it's important and that we should talk about it and process it more in the next session.

Process it... I hate that term! I don't even get it.

Oh well, I guess I should just be happy that she doesn't seem to be taking an offense to it.

In one way though, I'm disappointed that she didn't just say 'oh, that was a mistake, I was just talking about your mom' or 'I didn't mean to say that about you'. She didn't though. So, now, I guess I know that she actually really means it.

Ugh.