[Willowleaf]

Had a session tonight and managed to talk to her for whole session. Probably first time I've managed this in 2 years. Problem is I had an accident at the end of last week and damaged back and been coping by blocking out physical pain. After session tonight I don't seem to be able to block anything and both physical and emotional pain are acute. I can't sleep and my mind is in over drive. Ironically session was about how I feel a nuisance to everyone and even posting here is bringing it all up, but I so need to try and get this under control. T is now out of country for a week so I need to get through this on my own.

Willow you aren't alone we are all here to help you. Let it out.... we will listen!

[roads]

Do you have ice packs? I also freeze large bags of lentils, peas, soybeans and use them--empty the store bags into heavy zipper freezer bags, squeeze all the air out that I can.

Rice in socks heated in the microwave makes good hot packs. Cotton socks best.

Alternating will trigger the body's healing responses.

So glad you had a good session with T. Hang onto that, try not to let this physical pain take away from that. I'm going through physical pain right now too, along side grief and the usual mishmash of issues.

Keep posting ... that's why we're here. Stay in touch.

roadie

[Willowleaf]

I just feel that anyone I spend time with must regret it and find me a nuisance. All came up as she offered me a Skype session whilst she is away. She spent the hour trying to make me realise that these are young feelings and to get me to talk about my parents. It was very overwhelming. We didn't say anything I didn't already know but the fact of making it conscious has really stirred things up. She reminded me that this is why I always feel I am a bad person. She kept saying this is what I felt like when I was young, but right now it's what I feel like now. The physical pain is just making everything ten times worse and with sleep not possible it's horrendous. If I was a crying person I would curl up and sob my heart out but unfortunately I'm having to learn how to do that as well and not quite there yet. Thanks you for the reply. It meant so much

[Willowleaf]

Originally Posted by Roadie

Do you have ice packs? I also freeze large bags of lentils, peas, soybeans and use them--empty the store bags into heavy zipper freezer bags, squeeze all the air out that I can.

Rice in socks heated in the microwave makes good hot packs. Cotton socks best.

Alternating will trigger the body's healing responses.

So glad you had a good session with T. Hang onto that, try not to let this physical pain take away from that. I'm going through physical pain right now too, along side grief and the usual mishmash of issues.

Keep posting ... that's why we're here. Stay in touch.

roadie

Had forgotten about all that! Am heading to freezer now thanks

Willow try writing , sometimes just writing it all out can help. I know how it feels to be that insecure but it can get better. No one here finds you a nuisance. (((((Willow)))))

[Nightlight]

I relate to the things you spoke about in your session and the pain it can bring up afterwards. I'm sorry you're having t deal with your therapist being out of the country and the physical pain all at once. I hope you keep posting if it helps you too, because you're definitely not a nuisance here. I'm waiting another week for my T to come back from overseas in the middle of some really bad stuff too.

[Willowleaf]

Nightlight I'm sorry your in the middle of bad stuff too. Sometimes I feel like there is no end to all of this. I don't think I will ever be able to feel differently about this, but I suppose part of me is looking for something different or I wouldn't keep going. The attachment to t makes things difficult as well. I really feel for you waiting for yours to return. I am really scared as mine is away this week but has offered me a Skype session and then is back for one week and away again, this time she will not be contactable. She has so little time time off I hate the fact that I begrudge her the few weeks she does take.
I always feel that others on here deserve help, but I don't. I just want the pain to stop, but then don't we all.

[Anne2.0]

For me, physical pain from minor surgery early this past fall triggered a series of body memories from past trauma that I thought was pretty well resolved. One of the things that I learned is that physical pain is really, really depressing, frightening, and pretty much makes any emotional pain worse. So one of the things I tried to keep in mind, now that I'm on the other side of it-- where I have flare ups rather than constant pain-- is that being in physical pain really makes everything s&ck.

So one way to make the pain useful is to ask yourself whether the pain is bringing anything up for you that might be fruitful to investigate, and the other is to take good care of yourself physically. You got great advice from Roadie, and I would add that St. John's wort tincture and St. John's wort oil were both really helpful for me (and continue to be). Check with your pharmacist as it can interact with some meds (although the oil, used topically like massage oil, shouldn't have the same concerns as injesting it). Also blue vervain, like st. john's, has anti inflammatory and nerve pain relief qualities. Hope you feel better soon.