The Fictional T

I'm reading a book at the moment that has a therapist as one of the lead characters. I keep thinking, I wish my T would say some of these things that are being said. I know it's a totally different situation in many ways and it is helping a little reading the things I'm reading because what is written can still have some application but there's that nagging sense of wanting these words for myself, wanting this experience for myself as well. As I write this, I realise I've had similar thoughts about other fictional T's; and I know that I can talk to my therapist about this and acknowledge the need and desire however they also aren't the sort of things he would say or his style of therapy so it would just make the unmet need feel even bigger. I also know there is the danger that in wanting some of the things fictional T provides I can miss some of what my real T actually IS providing. There is just this huge chunk of neediness and wanting things to be said that nobody will actually say to me (and the thought of saying them to myself just accentuates that nobody else would so doesn't feel like a good option).

How do others deal with this?

Can you give some examples of what the fictional T says, and maybe the name of the book? The author could be "making up some of the statements". Or, like you say, it depends on the T's style and orientation. I'm guessing the fictional T shows more warmth and closeness than you get from your T. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

I've experienced wanting my T to say some of the things from, I'm sure you've guessed it, Torey Hayden's books, which aren't fictional, but written in a fictional style.

I'm really interested to know what the fictional T says!

Idk. It's so very easy to get caught up in the things you don't get. I'm there right now. I feel a T would say that accepting you will never get it and dealing with the disappointment is necessary for growth, but that's a lot of punishment.

I can relate. It is ungodly painful knowing that we are on our own. If you miss the deadline of having your needs met, well, not it's yours. T's usually avoid anything to do with the dependency word, which makes the neediness worse. I wish you hope for your future, but hold none for myself. I realize it is my fault, but I am sick of it, just so sick of it. I hope you are coping better than I am, (((tiger)))))

Hi Tigergirl,
What is it about fictional that you loike so much? Is it just the things he says? Do you believe a real t would say these things?
I don't see anything wrong with your fantasizing, it's normal to want our ts to say all the right things to us but the reality of it is they don't because they don't know what we need all of the time so maybe you could say this to your t. That you need for him to say whatever fantasy t says that appeals to you- of course your t might not decide to go along but you are entitled to ask.

Rain I was thinking of you a little when I wrote and about Torey

Right now it's content driven rather than connected to warmth and closeness; we have looked at some of this in therapy, but it's different

T is great, I'm just being difficult

Anti, I hold hope for your future