[Hellion]

So i have another therapy appointment tomorrow and well I doubt it will be any more help than the last. Honestly since the last appointment I just feel like I can not live up to what the therapist thinks I can. When we meet I am usually just confused what she wants from me, what I am supposed to talk about and feeling like I'm not trying hard enough at anything she suggests or whatever.

When I mention how over-strained and stressed I am she still seems to encourage me to push myself more when the whole point is I can't and I am already doing it too much and am more looking for suggestions to maybe reduce the strain...not how I need to just work through it and function in spite of it. I think sometimes I take her wording wrong....uhh I suppose tomorrow I should try and mention this to her that I just don't feel it's really going anywhere. But I feel she might just try and say I'm not putting in enough effort or something that I would take personally. I don't know if anything though its not the intention of the therapist it just seems to make me feel more confused, stressed and down on myself.

I just don't think it's working right if therapy has become the thing I dread going to every week.

[Asiablue]

It could be the wrong type of therapy for you. If she is CBT orientated, then maybe she's focussing more on what you can actively do to make yourself feel better. Do you feel like you could go in an discuss this with her? Be honest about what your needs are right now?

If you are feeling stressed and overstrained then now is't the time to be all super-goal focussed, maybe right now you need a breather... some gentle support.

[ECHOES]

It sounds like she is trying to help you to handle the stress you have, but that is not your goal. It's something to talk about with her.

Talk together about where you want your therapy to go. Talk about everything in your post, or take your post with you. It's all important.

Originally Posted by Hellion

So i have another therapy appointment tomorrow and well I doubt it will be any more help than the last. Honestly since the last appointment I just feel like I can not live up to what the therapist thinks I can. When we meet I am usually just confused what she wants from me, what I am supposed to talk about and feeling like I'm not trying hard enough at anything she suggests or whatever.

When I mention how over-strained and stressed I am she still seems to encourage me to push myself more when the whole point is I can't and I am already doing it too much and am more looking for suggestions to maybe reduce the strain...not how I need to just work through it and function in spite of it. I think sometimes I take her wording wrong....uhh I suppose tomorrow I should try and mention this to her that I just don't feel it's really going anywhere. But I feel she might just try and say I'm not putting in enough effort or something that I would take personally. I don't know if anything though its not the intention of the therapist it just seems to make me feel more confused, stressed and down on myself.

I just don't think it's working right if therapy has become the thing I dread going to every week.

Exactly, this therapy or therapist isn't working for you right now. It sounds as though she doesn't understand your strain and stress and most of all your limits. It is not her job to push you- it is part of her job later on but this is too soon for you. The therapist moves at the clients pace not their own.

I don't think you should just leave this therapist yet- of course its your decision but Ts are not mind readers and need to be guided sometimes because we as clients know best what we need

Hellion, I really feel for you and feel your stress and this anxiety about your therapy is not helping. I think you should talk about it with t tomorrow and tell t how your are feeling.
Good luck

[Perna]

When my brain gets overloaded, I switch modes? Think of some little physical or practical thing you want to do and invent an experiment for a week? There's a lot of things one can do for stress, pick one you are curious about (deep breathing, meditating, taking a bath, being mindful for 30 minutes, reading, etc.) and learn about/do it for just a week and report on it to yourself and your T. You don't have to "try" to do anything, just do something very small that will take your mind off its jumbled state and give you a little rest.

I like to read and write so journaling and getting back to journaling usually isn't that hard for me. Refrain from making it very structured or deliberate, just find a pad of paper and decide to write a paragraph when you wake each morning, something like that. Or, one thing I enjoyed was at the end of the day, write one phrase/sentence about the best thing you saw/learned that day or even come up with a "word for the day" and work to find or implement it.

Where your focus is, is where your head will follow. Think of 7 words you like or 7 quotes, whatever; I once did that with quotes and a vitamin pill; small plastic bags and took a vitamin and a "quote-for-the-day" and put them in the bag, had a couple weeks' worth, picked one at random each day and carried it with me, thought about it off and on during the day. You can do it with tasks, too; "make the bed", "vacuum the living room", "read/study 10 pages of my least favorite textbook", "plan and make a nutritious meal", "go for a walk", etc.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

It sounds like she is trying to help you to handle the stress you have, but that is not your goal. It's something to talk about with her.

Talk together about where you want your therapy to go. Talk about everything in your post, or take your post with you. It's all important.

I would like to potentially better handle stress, but pushing myself to do so is not the right way as that seems to just stress me out even more. But yeah I will have to talk to her about it I suppose.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Hellion

I just don't think it's working right if therapy has become the thing I dread going to every week.

I will be interested to hear what others say about this; therapy has been the thing I dread going to for years now, whether every week, every 2 wks, or every 3 wks.

Rewiring circuits, that have been in place for decades, hurts. It just does.

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by Hellion

I would like to potentially better handle stress, but pushing myself to do so is not the right way as that seems to just stress me out even more. But yeah I will have to talk to her about it I suppose.

I have been in a possibly similar situation in therapy. Where, what I wanted was relief and comfort and to be truly heard. T responded by truly hearing me, having empathy, and attempting to provide relief by seeing if there were ways to better handle the stress that was part of my position at work - a position she felt I was having some successes with. She had faith in me and thought it could get better.
So, it seemed like she wasn't doing what I wanted and needed because it didn't seem like relief, it seemed like being pushed further into the stress.

[Hellion]

hmm, well I guess I am getting transferred anyways....uhh, so now I have to start all over with a new therapist anyways. It frusterated me since it seemed this last session went pretty well up until I found that out. I knew it was going to happen at some point, just seems like it was kind of abrupt like I wasn't expecting it yet.

Then turns out the place I am going doesn't even do anything long term...so I am having a hard time seeing the purpose. I mean what is the point of getting settled somewhere only to have to be transferred to different therapists and have to find somewhere new to go.

[CantExplain]

When is therapy supposed to help?
Answer: In the long term.

One weakness of psychotherapy - perhaps it's greatest weakness - is how long it takes for the benefits to show.

There is some immediate pay-off in being heard. If you are lucky, your T might give you some moral support in your day-to-day crises. But therapy tends to open wounds before it closes them, and that is why roughly half the patients give up.