Too much is coming out at once

I don't know if stuff has started coming out because I started T, or if I started T because stuff was about to start coming out. (I didn't have a doctor refer me or anything, I just found a private therapist.)

A few sessions in, my T said "it seems to me that you are bursting at the seams". He is right. This week he told me I am "going very fast" in therapy. Not a criticism, just an observation. He is right. And, as I said to him at the time, I don't want to go this fast. But it's like there are all these shelves that are suddenly falling down, and now they're all collapsing, and everything is falling off them, onto me.

And I don't know if it's good that this is all just coming out (it doesn't feel good, given the hurt/fear/pain/terror/sadness that comes with it) or if it's going to be the end of me. And I guess I am just wondering if, once you let these feelings out, it can get better. Or if I'm just going to feel like this forever. T says it can get better. I really want to believe him.

I'm not sure this is in the right section at all, sorry, tried to figure out how to delete it but I can't see how to.

Tiny... I was like that when I saw my first T. It was like I had opened pandora's box and all my stuff that I had packed away was out in the open and messy. This was not a good thing for me at all... With my current T he helps me to contain it and control the pace at which I discover things. IMO fast and furious will either lead to a breakdown or burn out. This is not a race, slow and steady. It's better to deal with things a little at a time. It does get better , but you need to pace yourself.... one can only take so much crap at a time.

I think we are going to get to controlling and containing it. I kind of needed to see that it was okay to let stuff out (in therapy and just full stop) first, though, and not feel that was somehow wrong.

I hope it doesn't mean my T is somehow not good! I don't think so though.

Actually, a spot of reality checking. All my stuff isn't out. Far from it. But more than I might have expected.

I went very, very fast in the beginning, too. It was like I'd finally found someone who would understand, so I had to get it out all at once. He let me do that for a few weeks, but then put the brakes on. Now, he often wants to revisit things we talked about at the very start. We both have a different perspective on them now.

i went fast at first too and then felt regret that i had revealed so much. I hope you dont feel this way.

Sorry to hear that Tilly may. I'm not clear on whether you regretted revealing so much to your T, or to yourself?

I don't think I'll regret revealing so much to my T. I just need to not be aware of so much myself right now. He said maybe some things are too much right now. I think he's right...

It's good to know your own boundaries, that took me time.

I had a dream about my T last night. I dreamed we were back in the last session and he was holding onto me. Not like hugging, but holding onto my upper arms really tightly, and I felt encased by it.

I think I went to a very frightening place and needed him to go there with me and make me feel contained, instead of self-soothing like I've always done before. Thanks to everyone who has replied.

I've been feeling the same way! Too many emotions coming out way too fast.
I'm having so much trouble dealing with everything that has surfaced.
I cry after every session, trying to come to terms with all my negative emotions.
I'm scared by these feelings and not sure how do deal with them.

Personally I feel like I've discovered this huge mess and panicked about having to pick it all up at once. When actually it's okay that the mess is there because he will help me pick it up gradually and we don't have to do it all now.

Jolisse, have you told this to your T?

I have just had a major realisation. Am quite excited to tell my T about this.

I had to go too fast and see, for myself, that it wasn't good for me. Then T was able to say: "You're going very fast," while talking about being gentle with myself. And I was able to say: "I don't want to go this fast."

And the thing is, he could only tell me once I'd seen it for myself. If he had tried to tell me I was panicking and hurrying, I would have run it through the distortion filter that lives in my head and taken it all wrong. I would have heard: "I hate you, I don't care, I wish you'd stop telling me your problems and go away." I had to see it for myself, clearly.

this is why I love PC. Where else are you going to find out something so crucial??? thanks Lola

T R - good advice here. You might ask yr T about journaling, or other ways to let some of this out rather than spilling it right out. let us know how you go.

Actually journalling is quite bad for me as I write loads down, discover too much, panic and email it to him. What I need to do right now is just stop, and let things happen as they happen! Appreciate the advice though, all the same, thank you.

That's an excellent insight! I had something similar happen with T. When I started talking about my CSA, he never asked me anything and told me that I didn't need to talk about it if I didn't want to. I interpreted that to mean "please don't tell me about it. I don't want to hear anything about it."

At the next session, I told him that was how what he'd said felt to me. He immediately clarified that his preference was for me to tell him, it was truly up to me whether or not I did.

Tiny Rabbit,
This happened to me when I first started seeing my current T back in September. I felt all of these major emotions and they were flooding me, and I couldn't deal with them. After a bit, we found out what has worked, it took both of us to figure this out, and I am now at a better place as far as therapy goes. It will get better! ((((((())))))))))