If you do then you know how hard it can be to keep your mind on thearpy! I know that is some problem to have! LOL

[lenjan]

My last T was hot, but openly gay, so that made it a little easier, LOL.

My pdoc, on the other hand, is straight AND cute as all get-out! It does make it hard to focus on what he's saying when I'm busy staring at him! LOL

[damajdancer]

My T is very hot!!
But I trust him, so its all good for me.
I used to have a T that was gay too! lol!

[jbug]

I used to have a very cute T. It did make things harder but then again I have a habit of not being able to look at the person I am talking to so I didn't really have too much of a problem. He was funny too. He's not a T anymore though and I sometimes wish I could date him but with my luck he's gay but I don't know.

Jbug

[(JD)]

I surround myself with good-looking people They're good inside too.

[kimmydawn]

The t I just wrapped up with is HOT. Combine good looks and a nice physique with humor and a caring, compassionate personality and just OH MY.

I think I expressed that I can relate.

Seriously speaking (even though I was being very serious in the lightheartedness), I think those "appreciations" are something that ebbs and flows as therapy continues (or it did in my case). I think it's very normal and many t's will discuss it thoroughly with the client if the subject is broached.

KD

I donb't have to worry about that - good looking or not I prefer the same gender therapists. I was sexually abused by men. so sitting there talking about what happened to me with a man? Aint going to happen. Add that to my being DID?

You have instant dissociation the minute a male therapy professional walks in the room and shuts the therapy room door. The only way I could go through the extrremely long process and interviews for diagnosing my DID years ago was because the testing psychiatrist scheduled my sessions so that we could leave the door open and my female therapist left her door open so that if I got nervious and so on I could look down the hall and see her doing her paperwork.

Male therapist cute - They can be patrick swayze and under therapy circumstances I would still shut down.

Female therapist yes some are downright beutiful BUT I have no trouble keeping my mind off of their looks other than wow those are cool earings, necklace, and so on. Therapy professionals as partner - nope not my thing.

[PasDeDeux]

My EYES adore him

[90mphINneutral]

OMG my old T was hot, I mean he was in his 50's but he looked awsome!! I would dream about him, even wrote him a love note, and would leave messages on his voice mail lol. He ignored me tho because he loved me too. I know he did.

You left messages? Haha! I do that sometimes and I sound like a bumbling idiot! But I know he loves it. In fact there is mutual attraction going on, I know I am testing him to the limit sometimes! Heehe. One time I smiled at him at the gym and he totally blushed! It was sooo cute! You see the darkening eyes, you see them checking you out, and they sometimes mess up and tell you that they were thinking about you outside of the office.

They might have boundries and do their best to keep things ethical, but when 2 people are attracted to each other, you just can't hide the chemistry and the sexual tension it can cause no matter if one is a T and one is a client. But do I expect anything to happen, no I don't . I trust him to keep his hands to himself. But I have done excellent work with him even in these circumstances, so it is okay. In fact it is kinda pleasent feeling.

[(JD)]

I'm glad your T is maintaining the therapeutic relationship, and is working with your transference/projection onto him. I hope you are able to work through the strong attraction to an easier admiration for the work he does in helping you! TC.

sometimes people think that their t is really really attractive - but they wouldn't be attracted to the person if they met them in a different context outside a therapy setting (without having done therapy with them). why? because sometimes attraction is more about transference than anything else. when you feel attracted to your t... who does your t remind you of?

sometimes... we project feelings that we have onto our t as well. so... we find our t attractive so we project those feelings onto our t and we come to think that our t finds us attractive.

sometimes... i think it can be about holding them at arms length. especially when there is SA in the past... being distracted because they are 'hot' is a way of... being distracted.

different people are different... but i thought i'd just get this out there for another perspective. typically one people don't like to think of / consider... but oh well...

[LMo]

Good points, s_k

Thanks special K,

I know about transference and all and no, my T doesn' t remind me of anyone that I know. But I can see why you asked.

But he is the kind of person I would be attracted to inside and out in the real world. But I know I can't have him. But that is okay because I can enjoy the mutal attraction without being with him.

I do know i have had some negative transference before, we have talked a lot about transference. He said he thinks I really do like him and it isn't about transference. We just have a ton in common. He has even told me that if he wasn't my T , he would enjoy a social relationship with me, but he won't go there with me because he doesn't want to undo the progress I have made.

thanks. what that means... (i was getting there kinda semi sorta) is that it can be helpful to process those feelings by talking to your t about them at times.

unfortunately... i've had so much bad therapy that i don't trust them particularly... but in theory they are supposed to be equiped to handle such things... sigh. but i guess if the distraction gets too bad... well... it would probably be worth processing it with your t.

i tend to feel attracted to male clinicians. but i guess my pathology... my father left me with a mother who abused me. he walked when i was 7 and fairly much didn't look back. he never used to hit me or anything. i missed him so much. t's that are older... become kinda father figures. but then i have some SA by older father figure types (who showed an intereset in me after my dad left) and so I get sexual transference tied up in there too. confused... basically. i can kinda see where the feelings come from... if they don't care about me like that then they don't care about me... if they care about me like that then they won't leave me... and i'm scared they will leave. and it is messy yuk.

cool. can i ask a question?
(you don't have to answer and / or you don't have to answer online or whatever...)

but...

what would it mean to you if your t didn't feel physically attracted to you?

(is that the kind of attraction you mean?)

[(JD)]

I think the T has worked in building that transference...otherwise you wouldn't know how much you have in common. Glad to hear he's maintaining and modelling proper boundary behavior for you. That's a good thing! Sounds like a good T.

i don't have a T right now, but i have the ER doc friend that is breathtakingly hot. and i mean swooning hot. AND, the best thing is that he is one of the nicest, loyal and good people that i know.

Hi Special K,

If my T wasn't attracted to me I would be okay with it. I am not ugly so it didn't surprise me though, but what means a lot is that he likes me for me. You can tell when someone is faking, and he isn't .

My T is CBT and doesn't use transference like a psychoanalysis T would. In fact he doesn't encourage it at all. If it happens then we deal with it, but usually it was me worrying about him dying or something because he had some heart problems while at the gym and I was afraid when I saw him running around the track he would drop dead on me or something. So I don't think he planned that transference. But it did happened, because I have lost some special people in my life. I am not sure even that was tranference, because I was in fact worried about him because I care.

I think attraction just happens, he is cute really and I was attracted to him when I first met him, and some say I am somewhat attractive , so it isn't that unusual for it to happen. But it is what is in the inside that makes a person, and that is what I believe in because someone can be physically attractive, but inside they are a jerk or something, which to me, makes them unattractive.

I am studying to be a T , so I am fully aware of transference. But I also have a nack for seeing the real person in someone, and my T is being very real to me. In fact I am also becoming friends with some of his friends (that I didn' t know at the time), so people with simular interestes, do attract to one another. His friends don't know how I know him, but when his friends talk about their interestes including my T , then I know he is being real with me about them, and not making it up for transference sake..

[desirae]

LOL....no but I wish I did?!?;...lol

[jbug]

My current T looks like Drew Carey so its hard for me not to laugh when I do actually look at him which isn't very often and I'm glad he finally stopped demanding that I look at him.

Jbug