[stopdog]

I am struck by the number of people who have found that going when they do not want to for some reason, has been beneficial. I have experienced the opposite. I have never had an appointment go well if I was too anxious or thought a break was a good idea. I have always regretted not taking the break.
Have you had a good or bad experience? More than one response should be possible.

[athena.agathon]

Last week (where I bolted) being the notable exception, I usually am glad I showed up anyway, even when I had to grit my teeth to keep my *** in the waiting room.

I have def cancelled in the past when I felt "too anxious or depressed" to go and, while I didn't regret it at the time, in retrospect I probably missed opportunities to learn things that would have been good for me. At one point I admitted to this and my therapist accused me of "cleaning up before the maid."

Did you say "I'm anxious", stopdog? I'm curious--how did she react?

[content30]

With my current T, it has always been helpful. When I have been anxious or depressed, for me, that is when I want to run toward my T and not away. Now that I am doing well, I am spacing the times I see her further apart--either two or three weeks.

[stopdog]

She said she noticed and told me to breathe.

[trdleblue]

I don't think I ever find therapy pleasant. It is something that I am either indifferent about, or I find it unpleasant. I don't cancel appointments because I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't, and because I think that it would make things worse for me. Not only would I feel extremely guilty, I also know that when I start canceling or not showing up for something it means I probably will quit altogether. It's something that I have done with jobs and relationships, usually without any notice.

[athena.agathon]

Did you talk about why you were anxious then, too?

[stopdog]

No. The times I have tried to talk about it, the woman changes the subject.

[Victoria'smom]

Stop dog some times I really dislike your t. I go (except this next week) it may not be beneficial then but it is beneficial to my t to see what I deal with. Usually t's very reassuring and light those days.

[tinyrabbit]

If I don't want to go, it usually means I really need to.

[WikidPissah]

Originally Posted by stopdog

No. The times I have tried to talk about it, the woman changes the subject.

Seriously? That pisses me off. My time, my subject.

Anyhow: I generally know when I shouldn't go. If I go when I know I shouldn't it is often disastrous. If I just take a break when I know I should things go smoother.

[pbutton]

It does help me to go. Not so much the session, but the fact that I acknowledge that it is something inside me that's making it feel like a bad idea to go. I'm not being affected by outside forces, I am doing something inside that I need to adjust so that it is not a bad idea to go.

Plus I'll happily go and talk about how I don't want to be there and why. T is always willing to discuss that with me. It's actually an offshoot of one of my issues - I have trouble being vulnerable and sharing myself with other people, particularly when I'm not feeling strong. I need to learn to do that. Which kind of sounds like it sucks , but I'm willing to try. I have nothing to lose.

[Cocosurviving]

I have had days were I really don't wanna go. I suck it up and go majority of the time. I've only had 2 occasions were I cancelled....depression. I was upfront and honest w/ my T.

[photostotake]

I've had many sessions where I've wanted to cancel, but I never have. I talk it over with my T and have had good sessions because of it. Some of my best sessions have been at those times. He says he can tell when I walk in the door if I actually want to be there or not. If not, it's typically going to be a productive session. Funny how that works.