Couch 48 - All are Welcome - really!

Granite, I love how brave you are. Even when you're scared, you buckle down and go. You're inspiring.

Karebear, one of the things I tried was using guided meditation soundtracks that I downloaded online. It takes a bit of work to actually get your mind and body to comply, but it might help!

((( granite )))

I hope that you can tell your T - in one form or another - that you're panicking. She needs to know so she can help you!

i need to leave in 15 min

Granite, you can do this!!!!!

Take some deep breaths.....20 seconds of courage!!!

you can do this... my meeting is over and I still have a job, still global and still no move , we will talk about it in a few months..... and a raise! Of Course W wants to sell the house NOW... i told her to go ahead

I feel SO stupid right now.

I was in the mood to listen to some songs that I don't have....and instead of buying the music, I asked my ex-husband if he had the CD (I remember him having one when we were married). He said that he only had the cassette and wondered why I was asking - if it was for me or someone else.

I told him that I heard a song on the radio and was in the mood to listen to their songs, thought he had the CD and wanted to borrow it instead of spending $$.

Next thing you know, today, he texts me telling me he went to the store and BOUGHT the CD....and that I can borrow it from him. Really????



Now, for a typical person, I'd imagine that was a nice, civil gesture....But my ex-husband is not your typical person. I am usually super careful not to give him ANY inkling of an idea that there's any chance for us at all. He continuously looked for opportunities to cross boundaries....and it took me calling the police and having him charged in order for him to finally see that he is NOT able to do those things to me.

Things have been civil for quite a while....we can talk and text, but I'm always sure to keep it about our daughter - or sometimes family stuff, etc.

THIS was ME crossing the boundary....All because I wanted to take the easy way out, hoping to borrow a CD from him to save $9......Stupid, stupid, stupid....

((Granite)) I think I am too late sorry. Good luck with T. She wants to help you.

Congrats on still having a job and a raise Lola!
Sorry that the news on the home front isn't good. Have you talked to W about why she is in such a hurry? You still seeing T tomorrow?

granite???? You've certainly left by now- right?? If not...... get up and go girl!!!!

Don't be too hard on yourself Mue- Sometimes $9.00 can get the best of all of us. If you need to tell him thanks, but no thanks, you already bought it yourself. Maybe that will help.

Ugh. I am so sorry MUE. Please don't beat yourself up about it. Dealing with someone who doesn't respect your boundaries and takes even the slightest thing as license to do whatever he wants, is so difficult and it is hard to continuously have to be on guard for any tiny little slip we might make that would give them a chance to take advantage. It is exhausting and it is all on HIM, not you. He is the one who has acted so inappropriately.

Sitting outside the ballroom where the fundraising dinner is tonight.. Nobody else is here! Thought for sure the flower guy would be here by now. We have time still though! Found a comfy couch to lounge on in the mean time!

Thanks for the support....I'm trying to better understand WHY I did it...T tries to help me see that little is "accidental" in life and there's a reason for it.

One good thing, though, is that I've gotten pretty good at doing damage control with my ex-husband - setting limits, reinforcing the limits, etc. It used to be grueling and heartbreaking, but I developed decent skills in asserting myself with him. I just hate that my stupidity would be what brings on the need for damage control. I should have known better.

And....the last time I did something similiar....He was picking up our daughter at my mom's house. She lets him in the house to use her bathroom, etc. (He's no longer allowed in my house.)....and my daughter and I were talking about a really funny SNL skit. I invited him to check out the youtube video and we all had a good laugh over it.

Now, that too isn't much of anything....but then, the next thing you know, he's texting me saying "goodnight" and "hope you had a good day" kind of texts....I ended up bringing up a financial issue to get us back on track. No real damage control needed. Hopefully, we're at a place now where this kind of thing can happen without it leading to that awful place.

((( Healed ))) - Good luck with the fundraiser!!

Murray, thanks so much for this reminder. It is very true that keeping the boundaries firm with someone like him is a LOT of work. And although I did mess up, it doesn't mean that he has permission to do whatever he wants.

Sitting in car in front of office Trying to breathe

You're almost there, Granite! Remember, you are strong....T is here to help you and WANTS to help you.

I don't see T again until next week....

I am so mad at W I cant see straight, she can sell it .... I am so over this whole mess.

So how are you doing today Lola? Other than being mad. Working this afternoon or taking afternoon off after your meeting with boss? Get any time to visit with the dogs?

((( Lola )))

Gotta hop in the shower and get ready for group T....*sigh*....

I am at the hotel now....

the meeting was intense and I missed lunch because of it...
I broke my shoe on the way to work this morning..... I needed glue.
so i stop at a gas station and NO glue... so I get to meeting...late and finally sit down and I'm sweating like a ***** in church ... what a day! The shoe never did get fixed... broke all day
and I met with the Global VP... LMFAO...... man what a day

I'm trying to convince myself to meet my friend at the gym shortly even though I so want to stay home and wallow. Today T said to keep up the exercise- good for me...healthy...improve my mood as well as my health...blah, blah, blah.... lol
He's no fun at all.

Murray get going..... do a push up for me