Couch 48 - All are Welcome - really!

Im home an T Monday at 1, we will email til then...

what you up too?

so i am going to a all day scrapbooking thing tomorrow so i have to decide what i am bringing to work on and print out pic today. it should be fun.

strange thing happened yesterday. i was talking to the person i know who works at my favorite scrapbooking store. she is the one who runs all the classes i go to . anyway i was at a class yesterday and we were talking about stamps and stuff. i said i was going to this stamp show that is going on next saturday. she said she wanted to go also and said that we should meet up and go together .. i know this sounds so childish and all but I'm scared. i don't do going out and about with others well as you all know. i guess you could say that i am OK and we are kind of friends with in the boundaries of the store and the classes i take and the gatherings i attend at the store like the one tomorrow.i am confident in my crafting and am terrified she will see me as very different in the world outside of the store. with just the two of us hanging out. i don't do friends well at all. i have had the same few friends for a long time. most new friends i tend to just push away after a while. i don't want to have this happen with this person. i enjoy the time i spend with her in the classes she runs and at the functions we attend at the store.i am also in this group of her friends that get together once a month to trade artist trading cards and we have a great time. but it is all in the confines of the store and crafting. i don't do friends well and am scared ill destroy the friendship as it is if she gets to know me better . stupid i know.and i need to grow up.it sounds all kinds of high schoolish but I'm scared.

I have just stopped seeing a therapist who did not work out, and I did not look back. But this one is different for me. I really don't know why I don't. I would suggest it to anyone else. And I have tried. And I always go back.
The two times it has seemed like she has understood were so nice.

We should have a good old fashion couch party tonight!

Right now the thing I am most curious about is why I am so upset that this one woman never understands me. It is just not that big of a deal and I know it, and yet it makes me want to cry. I have even seen another outside one this week who immediately understood what I was saying. I saw the second one I see and she got it too. So I don't think it is all just me. But I so badly want the first one to get me. And I don't know why I am so very sad that she does not. No matter what I do.

...I wonder if you have a maternal transference with your T...

I thought this was interesting.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-vulnerability

I wonder if there are more or just these two. If just these two, shame is more my style.

im up for one

Good article. I think I'm more fear avoidant. I will make a fool of myself. My parents were constantly trying to shame me - I just got tired of it.

I don't get all worked up about being abandoned. That is not the worse thing for me.

I thought this was interesting.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-vulnerability

I wonder if there are more or just these two. If just these two, shame-avoidant is more my style.

Yeah but are you always in a relationship? I took it when they gave the example of what would bother you about being homeless. I would miss my bed. That's what bothered me 10 years ago, what I worried about. But I do also fret about running into my former coworkers on the street, especially in the summer. That is never pleasant. What are you doing now? Nothing, remember you a-holes fired me?

I thought this was interesting.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-vulnerability

I wonder if there are more or just these two. If just these two, shame-avoidant is more my style.