Couch 48 - All are Welcome - really!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WIKI! Hope your day turns around for you and you have a delightful day! ((((Wiki))))

My one and only RL friend called me today to tell me she is moving over 1200 miles away. I don't know what to do.

(((Karebear))) that totally deserves an old fashioned hug.

And (((wiki))) you kept mentioning southie yesterday, I guess we didn't realize what it meant.

I started this week, trying to not get ahead of myself too much. Not to get overtired. What is it HALT - hungry, angry, l?, tired - is the l for lonely? that's gonna be hard to avoid living alone, good thing I have you guys! Also started taking biotin. At this point, I'll take a placebo effect!

Happy Birthday Wiki.... I am glad to be home, but its warmer outside the in my house

Hankster - what does biotin do?
what is the halt thing for?

Hi Lola... remember to warm yourself in the sun if you can

OMG i had such a fun time herb shopping . wiki i got two kinds of sage. no cilantro yet it is an anual.

i got so much .i talked to this lady for 1 hr about perenial herbs and also flowers OMG so many beautiful stuff.i just wanted her to show me what she had but she told me so much more.i could listen to her for hours i got some flowers for the garden in front of my house. now if i could only get this lady to come and plant all this for me lol

it was realy a good time (who knew)

so now i am so ready to clean up the flower garden in the front and to plant my herbs in my raised beds on sunday. i think my hubby knew this would get me out of the house.. this seems to be his goal these days. to get me out and about and moving around lol. like insisting i go for a walk with him last night. we use to do that a lot especially if i was upset. just got out of the habit of doing it

how are your babies i bet they were so glad to see you

Halt is from AA - they say to never let yourself get too any of those things, or else you become susceptible to slippage. I think I was overtiring myself, thinking, hey I'm back to normal! Then I sleep way too much the next few days and get depressed about it and start worrying about sleeping too much!

Biotin is supposed to be good for if antibiotics ate up all the flora and fauna in your digestive system. I know yogurt is supposed to be good for that too, but I can overeat yogurt and I'm trying to go no dairy cuz i think i'm somewhat lactose intolerant. Also biotin is supposed to be good for hair nails and metabolism. And fatigue I think. So I should turn into superwoman any day now. thanks for asking!

Good luck. I hope the biotin turns you back into superwoman soon.

Yes they missed me , im letting the girls sleep with me. W said I get Daisy.

How are you doing Lola?

Im numb.... and calm, trying to remain calm. I have my breakdown moments, but then I think maybe this is what I need to grow up. Like I need to be 20 for a minute.... Mid life crisis, that is what I think this is.... but what the hell do I know.... lol

Hey, stopdog, I read this article by a blogger trying to explain the psychotherapy process and I wondered if it might be helpful for you: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist: Hypnosis, EMDR, Somatic Experiencing: Starting Psychotherapy: Developing a Sense of Psychological Mindedness

Right now the thing I am most curious about is why I am so upset that this one woman never understands me. It is just not that big of a deal and I know it, and yet it makes me want to cry. I have even seen another outside one this week who immediately understood what I was saying. I saw the second one I see and she got it too. So I don't think it is all just me. But I so badly want the first one to get me. And I don't know why I am so very sad that she does not. No matter what I do.

I may be way off base here Stopdog and please forgive me if I offend you at all with this. Just that at times when I read what you write about your T and have occasionally written about your childhood, I wonder if you have a maternal transference with your T. Probably not at all what you want to hear, sorry. I just keep thinking of how she never seems to understand you or support you in the right ways and how you still keep trying with her. It makes me think of how you said that you mom didn't understand you or make you feel supported when you would share with her. I think you mentioned once that when sharing some achievement with your mom, she made you feel worse. And then I think you mentioned that if something good were to happen for you, you wouldn't share it with T because her response would just make you feel worse. As I said I am probably way off base but I keep thinking that you struggle so much to get this T to understand you as maybe a way to recreate and repair your original relationships.
Please forgive me if I have overstepped or offended. Just that I have been horrified recently to realize that I am in some ways having some sort of stupid parental transference with my T and it is pissing me off! So it may just be that it is on my mind lately.

If it is that, and I sincerely hope it is not, it would seem I should be able to get the good kind of transference - where I think I love her, instead of the horrible dread and fear of her. The thing is, I did not dread and fear my mother - not like this.

Trigger warning for discussion of suicidal thoughts:

stopdog, have I talked to you at all about having briefly seen a female therapist? It seemed like it was going to be okay, but it was hard for me to tell if she really understood how desperately depressed I was. I joke around a lot, especially when stressed, and she and I laughed together a lot and she talked about how funny I am and I should do stand-up, etc etc.

It wasn't until my H came to a session with me because he was so worried about me that I realized how much this female T did NOT understand me. My H told her how worried he was because I had said how I could not stand the thought of living through the entire day and was breaking the day into segments to handle it -- I will not kill myself before I get the kids to school -- I will not kill myself before lunchtime, etc. The T turned to me and asked in this cold, angry voice if I had stopped and thought about how H would feel before I said that. I was like, 'what???' She said (in a very loud, angry voice, "Did you stop and think about that was going to make him feel before you said that? DID YOU?" I said that I did consider how it would make him feel and that I hoped it would help him realize how devastatingly horrible I felt. She rolled her eyes at me and turned and went back to talking to H about how badly she felt for him and how she empathized with how horrible me saying that made him feel, blah blah blah.

My point to that giant long story was that I just stopped seeing her. I went home and sobbed and sobbed and then got angry and never went back. Why do you return to this woman who doesn't get you? Would it worth it to just work through the sadness of NOT seeing and the fact it didn't work out with one of the other therapists you have seen?

You could never make your mother get you either, or see your side. Perhaps you need to work or a client T relationship that addresses this issue?

I have just stopped seeing a therapist who did not work out, and I did not look back. But this one is different for me. I really don't know why I don't. I would suggest it to anyone else. And I have tried. And I always go back.
The two times it has seemed like she has understood were so nice.

Thanks for the hug Hankster.... I really needed it.

I am watching Tuna Texas. It is one of the things I rewatch when sad. It is so funny. I have the dvd.
But here is a clip.

Perhaps you should return to the other one and address this issue while seeing current one? She was someone you enjoyed seeing could she be a part of this experiement? Seeing one to discuss the relationship with the other, then you will learn how to deal with the mother without her knowing you are doing so as they dont know of each other. I would love to see this.

I do still see both of them. There is no one to return to - I have not quit either.

Great then bring this up with the nice T.