[JFB1962]

I had a session with this new T yesterday and I wasn't feeling good and I told her my brain wasn't working right...
Well I felt like she was giving me the "tough love" routine
(I don't know her but thats the only way I know to describe it) and it made me go back into my protective shell with an attitude...So needless to say the progress I had made about working on me kinda went out the window...

Today I saw a new P-doc andstill had the attitude...Umm yeah I sorta (Ok I did) gave her a hard time...She made the mistake (she didn't know it was one) by saying I would like for you to trust me...I looked at her and said...I trust NO-ONE and you can forget it...

Having the bad experience with my ex ex T has left me very angry, I want to work it out but there's no-one willing to break down the wall...The T's I have seen since the bad experience see me once or twice and it's like they don't want to be bothered...

So now I am thinking about not going back to therapy...
Has anyone here got better on their own?...JFB

Also not feeling good was not mental yesterday it was physical...

[(JD)]

You can improve some on your own, but if you can't seem to listen to others who try to care for you, how will you listen to yourself? I mean, YOU are in control of trusting or not... if you can't discipline yourself to do that, how will you discipline yourself to follow through with textbook options?

Ok... maybe it's you, with your attitude, that is not willing to break through/down that wall. I do indeed understand. There were many many times when, in heightened chronic pain, I would give my T an attitude. He finally got through to me, that HE'S ON MY SIDE. My disgust with the way life has gone, or how ppl have dissed me or whatever my problems ARE... have NOTHING to do with him. He's there to support me, why should I speak angrily or sarcastically or however TO him?? (Not that I did all that...but sometimes I wasn't feeling loveable, you know?)

NOW that I am able to speak WITH my psychologist instead of AT him... I feel better about the direction of my therapy... I can discuss any topic and any topic change wish with him and we work it out just fine.

Maybe the next topic with your T can be your concerns about therapy, and distaste for previous therapists? That way you and your T can agree upon how you will speak with each other and treat each other (as adults )) TC!

[JFB1962]

Hi Sky...I thought about your post and your right in what ou have written...This is the conclusion I have come to...
I'm not going back to therapy because I am not willing to stop punishing myself for something that happened years ago...I feel I deserve exactly what I am doing to myself...
It's wasting a T's time to do therapy with me...

Thanks for helping me open my eyes to this...JFB

[Sarah116]

Sort of, i get real rude sometimes to my Pdocs and T's. I did manage to get better somewhat on my own with things like talking with others same and like me. I have, in PH told my Pdoc to look over there and when he turned I ran, have talked rude to them before, threw stuff at them, called a Psychologist "baby doll, Barbie" and have had counselors and therapists in PH dump me out of my chair I was being rude. etc. some of my T's in PH liked to play jokes on me. I also liked to make them mad by rhyming their names and some ryme with dirty words. I also make jokes out of their names when they get me cranky. I should not though.
You can be your own Shrink, support groups and just meeting with people around you know you can relate too can be worthwhile. get creative and find some new therapies!