Why can't I feel when I'm in therapy?

I have been working on issues from years of abuse and as much as I want to talk about my feelings while I'm with the therapist, I can't. It feels like a part of me shuts off when I go there and I can only relay information matter of factly. I can't access my emotions. I think it's super weird and on the inside, I want to cry, I want to share my sadness, my anger, my pain. But I can't. Is there anyone that can explain why this happens to me and what I can do about it? I am working really hard to "get better" and to get through all of my issues, but this is really frustrating to me. Thanks!

Why? Shame and Fear. I would encourage you to look into psychodrama. It helped me speed up the process. Not all therapist are created equal - investigate.

Your question reminds me of something I posted a while ago (here):It sounds to me as if you actually feel two ways about sharing your emotions: you want to and you don't want to. As long as you identify with "want to" and resist "don't want to", you're likely to feel as though some invisible force is holding you back in spite of yourself.

What does it feel like when you say to yourself, "I don't want to talk about my feelings"? What do you think would happen if you were to say that to your therapist?

I can't explain it except to relate to it and tell you that my therapist (of 6 years) says it is about huge fears; we just had a discussion about this last night. An exploration, a 'what if' kind of thing; I think it helped. I can feel outside of therapy what I wish I could feel in therapy. We both agree it would be helpful to be able to feel it in therapy, but also we both understand that it doesn't feel possible/safe so we'll work on it.

But I wanted to say that I relate and understand the frustration.

Have you talked about this with your therapist?

I agree that there are times when I don't want to feel, but in general, I really would like to because I know it's part of what will help me heal. I have talked about this with the therapist, I'm just starting to get extremely frustrated because I honestly feel like a switch shuts off the moment I sit down. I can sit there and talk about terrible things with absolutely no emotion. I think it's weird and it's one of the things I hate most about myself.

I can't explain why it happens to you, but it happened to me and I know why. I was seeing my ex-T for 4 years and never felt emotions when I was in the room with him. I tried really hard. I would watch sad youtube videos in my car before I went in, just to get my emotions going. But it never worked.

Then I switched to a new t, and I cried in her office the very first day. I cried every week in there for a couple of months.

Ex-t was intimidating to me, even though he was very kind. He was extremely good looking and dressed really well, and reminded me of the type of man who would never give me the time of day in a normal day to day life. I believe the only reason he could stand to have me in the room was because I was paying him, even though he did show me and tell me that he cared about me. It was a block I could never get past.

New t is not intimidating to me at all. But more importantly she thinks and feels like I do, so she understands me very well without me having to explain and go all reporter-y on her, like I did with ex-t. She is very attuned to me and can feel my energy, if it is sad, or happy, or whatever.

I think just being with someone who was so understanding caused my floodgates to open.

I am not saying that is what is happening for you, but maybe my experience can be helpful in some way?

For me personally, it's a self-protective measure when I shut off from my feelings, as they're difficult and uncomfortable and I'm frightened of feeling them, so my mind kind of protects me from doing so.

I appreciate your response and maybe this is partly true for me. I've seen him for 5 years and I really like him and he really understands me. I sometimes wonder if I subconsciously disconnect because I don't want him to see me sad. I have cried and been able to share my emotions before but I feel like I have hit a big wall. I also sometimes wonder if it is because in my head I think about 95 million things and it is hard to focus. I also have a tendency to minimize my experiences because I always think, regardless of how terrible things might have been, they could have always been worse.

You are feeling. You are reporting. Eventually the 2 come together.