Couch 52 - Are you being served?

I know I'm late to the teenager discussion but still wanted to chime in. sorry

As a teen I was pretty non-rebellious. I did have a smart mouth and didn't like to get up early but that was about it. Sadly my mom was sure that all teenagers must be up to no good and that the only reason she never caught me doing anything terrible was because I was so sneaky and devious. So I got punished for many things that I never did or even wanted to do. It was not fun to be trying really hard to be good and to be punished anyway and then if I tried even harder, it was assumed that I was being more devious and up to even worse things....fun times
The funny thing is it was only my mom and step father who thought this way. Whenever any of my friends would be grounded they were still allowed (even encouraged) to hang around with me as I was such a "good influence." Even at school, when I would be receiving various awards or performing in the band or whatever, my mom would harass the principal, superintendent, teachers, etc about how mistaken they were to give me any sort of honors or recognition because I was such a horrible worthless piece of crap and if they couldn't see it then they were idiots....good times ...

You know, when your T is going to be away x number of weeks, it's really stupid to start worrying about it a week in advance, because all that will get you is x+1 weeks of anxiety.
(And by "you", I mean "me".)

Oh murray, that's horrible.

Thanks (Mast) didn't mean to get all whiney there, just agree that not all teenagers are terrible.
Btw, I also don't have children(infertile) and am not very "girly" with hair, makeup, heels, etc. I struggle at times with feeling like I am not really a woman.

I hear that. Invisible.

I also don't have children. I think it's because I spent my childhood parenting my parents and my sister. Parenting is a lot of hard work, not sure I'd willingly sign up for it again.

((( Murray ))) - Wow, that sounds so unfair and hurtful.

Mastodon - I hear ya. My T just told me yesterday that he will be away for about 3 weeks (which could mean at least 4 weeks of no sessions, depending on the timing). I'm trying not to fret about it. I am hoping I can use it as an opportunity to see what being T-free is like - being on my own - finding my independence again. I need to be able to find ways to get the support I need if I need it in real life (gulp) and occupy myself with things so that I don't ruminate down a slippery slope. I emailed T asking if he was going to have a back-up T available in case I needed to reach out. Need a game plan in place.

pbutton - I spent a lot of time parenting my parents as well. My strategy, which I am just now learning, is that by taking care of my abusers, it helps me feel safer from harm. I can see how that strategy is a poor one as an adult. Parenting is a lot of work, and single parenting is super hard. But I love the fact that I have a daughter and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Good for you for putting a plan in place beforehand. I hope there's a back-up T for you, just in case.

My T asked me last week if he could do anything to make his absence easier for me, but I can't really ask him for anything. He made me promise to txt him if I get suicidal. And keeping busy is a good idea - I'll do my best to do that, too. I'll be abroad for at least a week, and off on other trips as well. And I have plenty of work to do over the summer.

Thanks, Mastodon.

Is there a reason why you feel you can't ask him for anything? Maybe you can ask him to provide you with some options and you can try to figure out what might work for you? For me, it's difficult to ask for what I need. I find myself incredibly resistant.

Strange response from T.

I emailed him asking him about the weeks that he'll be gone and whether or not group will be cancelled, so I can know whether or not I can free up my schedule to take on assignments that are offered to me.

T emailed me back saying that it seems as though I'm already planning on missing group while he's away.

Umm, no, T. That's not what I was suggesting. I just wanted to know so that if group was not happening, I could let the agency know that I'm available for assignments on those dates.

He said we'd talk about a back-up T at my next session.

I just can't ask - my brain stops working at the thought...

Asking him for options is a good idea, though. Better than making suggestions myself because I really have no idea what would be appropriate. Maybe I can write something down so I don't have to say it.

And your T seems to have some weird preconceived notions. It's good that he is prepared to discuss a back-up T, though.

MUE, you've been in group for a while... what has happened in the past with group when you have a co-group T? did group get cancelled while your T was away? or did co group t run it?

My brain works much in the same way. I freeze - and then go blank.

A couple of times, T has left work sick and the established co-T ran the session. Other times, with more advanced notice, T has cancelled group or has given the group the option. There's no real consistency, it seems.

T responded saying that we will talk about it in the next couple of weeks in group and that if members develop some comfort with the new co-T, he imagines there will be some attempt to meet.

The new co-T has only been in group twice so far, and he is clearly not gestalt based and doesn't seem to have a good understanding of how this type of group works. Several members had an adverse reaction to him this week, but there's still a couple weeks to turn things around, I suppose.

So worried about a good friend who lives outside Peyton CO... she texted last night that they had their cars packed and would be ready to go with 10 minutes notice because the wild fire lines were 3 miles from their house.. I texted and emailed this morning but haven't heard from her.

MUE... why would your T who runs a whole practice of lots of Ts bring in a coT who doesn't do the style of therapy that the group is based on? sounds odd? it doesn't sound like its to train the new T in it because you would think that co T would do more observing? curious for sure

I know, I know! Cuz the other ts in the practice have had it up to HERE with his bs! That's why he's giving mue a hard time about skipping group while he's gone - he feels guilty for acting like a butt. 5 cents please!

RTS, I can understand being worried about your friend. That sounds so scary!! I hope you're able to touch base soon.

My T's practice includes a bunch of T's that pretty much pay rent to him for the space. Each of them have a different style of practice. My T usually asks the Ts that join there to volunteer to commit to a year of co-facilitating a group T and writing the blog notes - to give them some exposure to gestalt T or a gestalt-group based setting. Some of the co-facilitators aren't even T's...one was a nutritionist!

The facilitator and co-facilitator play a very small role in the actual process of running group. T chimes in every once in a while if they become aware of something they feel is important. But for the most part, they sit back and observe (since our group is a relatively mature group...now that we have a newbie, T will probably speak more to help them along). In the 4 years that I've been in group, the coT's have rarely said anything.

This T seems to be jumping into this quite blindly...and I'd imagine my T is just using this as an opportunity for the group to figure out how to address it and do their work along the way.

Bahahahaha....

You can tell that the T's that work at my T's practice feel very guarded around him. This new T doesn't really know my T well enough yet. I can't imagine the members of my group being willing to have group with just this new co-T - but we'll see what happens in the next couple weeks.

i hope your friend is ok

Went to the wake...the guy was cremated, no body. I am so relieved! That sounds mean, but I really couldn't handle it!

So happy for you, Wikid! I've been thinking about you today.

Oh, that's good to hear, wikid!

im glad you didnt have that extra stress.

i am stressing out .i am kind of hoping my boy is not comming home because i have bit off more then i can chew with his room. i have been kind of using it for storage.stuff i wanted to put in my tag sale and so on.anyway most of it was taken out but there was some stuff left.also i wanted to replace the shelfs in there to more modern ones i had .so i started that and going through my sons stuff to get rid of stuff he didnt need or usees .like bunches of heavy books and stuff and just kid junk.i also decided i needed to also go through his cloths and get rid of stuff that i know doesnt fit him .then decided his close all needed washing .so noe everything in his room is a mess and i cant move old shelfs in basement or carry piles of books .cloths are everyplace.and i am overwelmed .i also have a trash bag of kid crap to throw away. i want hubby to help me but not sure he will. i am so soar.
but... i found all his accomidations and stuff from marines and again he is so cool .i am displaying all of them in his room i bet he will like that. i even found the flag they flew over the capitol building in his name when he graduated from bootcamp. need to get a flag display thing for that