Calling/Emailing outside of sessions

My T doesn't charge for emails and I am confident if he did he'd communicate that to me. Whenever I pay more than the session fee he applies it to any balance I owe and I have a credit. We don't rally talk about it he just doesn't accept it.

There have been times when we weren't officially meeting when I'd email him and I wished he charged. I think it would have made me feel more equal and less dependent in some way, like a clear reminder that he is working for me. Without paying him for all the emails at that time it felt like I was taking way more than I should have, but he was very responsive. Financially I am glad to save lots of money my many emails would be costing me.

I think what you said is probably very true for you. It sounds like you doubt your value if you don't pay. That your friends really wouldn't BE friends if you didn't.

I doubt that. I think the friends that you have don't value you because you cover more of the check, but because you're who you are. You're already displaying generosity which is a wonderful trait to be around.

If it is about your view of your self image, or your insecurity, which I think it is, then you find and work on that in therapy and you probably won't feel so compeled to pay for friendship.

Life long habits are a hard thing to undo, however. When you feel more self assured, you should check that you're offering and demanding more equal relationships with friends, and you don't have to be shy in doing so.

Just my 2c.

Nothing is wrong. I sent an email an hour after my therapy, received no reply, don't know I have the right address, but I've convinced myself that it's the worst possible outcome; that I've immediately broken some unwritten rule, and I've insulted and alienated my T before I really began.

I'm expecting to be chastised when I go on Mon. But have a sneaking suspicion that this is all just unfounded.

I am going to raise it if nothing is said.

However, for you, if the check is cashed and nothing is said then that sounds like tacit approval. I'd ask, after THAT cashing, was that okay? Just for reassurance. Has your T ever reassured you before?

I think that u r going too far when u have to communicate with your T outside of the regularly scheduled sessions. I'm not trying to make u feel bad in anyway. Please understand that your T has her own personal life. It is hard to c it that way because all of us that need help become so wrapped up in ourselves and the need for help that we forget that Ts have a personal life of their own separate and apart from their professional lives. I just want u to take that into consideration. In addition, I'd like to add that relying on your T constantly can lead to something else that u may not be prepared to deal with, (like an emerging intimate relationship),that could cause more harm than good. It may not b a possibility in your case, but **** happens. Just keep that in mind.
Anyway, good luck to u...

Regards,
"almostthere"

[quote=almostthere;3124929]I think that u r going too far when u have to

communicate with your T outside of the regularly scheduled sessions. I'm

not trying to make u feel bad in anyway. Please understand that your T

has his/her own personal life. It is hard to c it that way because all of us

that need help become so wrapped up in ourselves and the need for help

that we forget that Ts have a personal life of their own separate and

apart from their professional lives. I just want u to take that into

consideration. In addition, I'd like to add that relying on your T constantly

can lead to something else that u may not be prepared to deal with, (like

an emerging intimate relationship),that could cause more harm than good.

It may not b a possibility in your case, but **** happens. Just keep that

in mind.
Anyway, good luck to u...

Regards,
"almostthere"

Never. The closest was this.

I demanded (by email) that Madame T give me a written diagnosis.
She resisted.
I then offered to pay for it.
She complied.

My T doesn't charge for emails or calls either.
One thing I want to mention is that I hope you aren't going to be hurt if for some reason T does not address the extra payment or say you don't need to pay. She might just accept it without comment, she may not even notice actually (she might have an office manager that would taka care of the deposit,etc ) or any one of any number of different scenarios. I just hope that you weren't hoping that she would use this as an opportunity to reassure you of her care.

LMAO WTF is up with THAT?

My t says that she charges the hourly wage for any contact that is over 5 minutes. However, she has never charged me and I have had many phone calls and emails, etc.