Couch 54, Where Are You?

Well my Wed just got a little heatic. I have the senior place in the morning, then go pick up C from camp, drive C back to his mom's to sit for a bit, follow C's brother to C's dad's house, meet C's step-mom there, and take a "tour" of their house.

The from now on, on Weds I will be picking up C from camp then watching him at his dad's until his step-mom gets home.

I don't mind though. I mean I am getting paid well enough that a little "confusion" isn't too bad.

For me, there are days I should stay away because even on the couch, there is stuff that totally sets me off. I've tried blocking certain people, or only coming to the couch, but then others on the couch will quote them in replying and then I see it. Or like today, I read a thread anyway despite my resolution not to do so and then see something a that I feel compelled to reply to. I seem incapable of letting it alone when people change their stories or say contradictory things. Probably why I am absolutely killer on cross examination and depositions. In my personal life, it does not serve me quite as well and although I want others to point out my inconsistencies to me, others apparently do not wish it (even when they specifically SAY they want a pattern pointed out to them, as has happened to me on here in the past) and it seems like then I am the bad guy.

ranting. sorry. Still trying to wrap my head around certain things.

We took a bunch of homeless clients out to lunch. My pastor and I had worked hard arranging it all. We had the restaurant set up a buffet, but I was a little nervous about portion control, because we have this one very LARGE family who thinks that everything is about them. The plan was that us church people who could afford it would pay $13 each ($10 for the food/$3 for the tips) and the church would pay for the dozen homeless clients. Well, I told my pastor I would "serve the food" and H helped me (so we could make sure there was enough for all). I was having fun, chatting with the clients...and along comes the LARGE FAMILY. I plate some stuff for the mom, and she grabs a spoon and piles more on than I gave her. (I gave large portions) Then she is like "listen honey, we are paying and we want our plates full". Her 12 & 13 yr old very large daughters do THE SAME THING. Grrrrr. Selfish!!!! And then she tells me "I want diet coke" (I had the tables stocked with pitchers of ice water w/lemon, and coke) I told her we had water and coke, and she starts yelling at me telling me she has diabetes and can't have sugar soda. (duh! that's why I got water). (double duh, why did you fill your plate up with almost a whole pizza?) So, 3 of them and a couple of women sat in the corner (not mingling with the homeless clients at all, which was the point) and gossiped. I go to collect money from the LARGE family of 4, and she hands me $30 and says "I'm not tipping you". Idiot. The tip is for the waitstaff that kept the buffet hot , the plates clear, and the soda pitchers full. I tell her "the cost was $10 per person plus tips, and there are 4 of you". She says, the church can cover it.
So leaving I hear her repeating what I said with an over-emphasized STUTTER.". !!! The woman she was talking to was like my BFF in the church. They were laughing.
(Did I mention her and her family went up to the buffet 4 times each?)

BUT during this whole thing, her 13 yr. old was off by herself with this sketchy homeless guy. Pastor specifically told her NOT to leave her daughter alone with these people. These people are addicts, criminals...etc. When H and I were driving away, we see the guy has led the kid into the corner of the parking lot far away from everyone, and mom is no where to be seen.

Oh (Wiki) how horrible. I'm so sorry that happened. What a piece of work

thanks. now I am sobbing again.

I hate my voice. I hate being made fun of. I felt like I was in third grade all over again. I hate that people think I am stupid just because of my speech. I never want to go back to that church again. Ef them all.

I honestly was just trying to give some homeless folks a normal meal, away from the shelter, with honest people. It wasn't to convert them, or make them into "good" people. It was just to give them a couple hours in the a/c and off the street.

I wasn't trying to be the "big" person, or save the world. I just wanted to do something kind. Something Jesus would do.

I am so done with people. You can't trust anyone.

(Wiki) I think it was a very kind thing that you arranged and I am sorry that some selfish rude people caused you pain. But, them being a**holes doesn't in any way detract from the kindness you showed to others and I am sure that the rest of the people participating were touched by your caring and compassion. And anyone who doesn't see what a remarkable intelligent woman you are, is an idiot.

(((murray))) thanks.

Ah, Wikid. I am so sorry. I agree with Murray, you did something amazing and this woman's idiocy does not change that. I do not understand why the other people did not stand up her.

She's a big bully...one of those loud take-over types. I have had trouble with her a lot. I made a mexican chocolate bread once and she took a bite and said "eww that's nasty", and threw it in the garbage right in front of me. The people standing around laughed...meanwhile everyone was gobbling the bread down. It was good bread.

Because however much I hate myself, indulging in self-punishment is not a good idea. And I have no support system in place over the summer so it is harder to deal with the negativity. At least I am better now at staying away from threads and people that push my buttons. Does that answer your question?

Wiki... God sees the heart...

No one who knows me on the couch expected me to take the high road on this right ? Thank goodness for the nicer people on the couch!

I say.....



F u ck her fat ***! Wiki, darling I am so so sorry and the story makes me so mad! Let me at her! In situations like that I get postal, when people hurt those I love. Give me her name Ill send her an anonymous 'going to he ll b I t c h' letter or better yet let me visit and take me to church ... I got your back! Remeber people like that get their VERY LARGE, JUST deserves in the end. Take her a 2 liter of Diet Coke to church next week and a straw and tell her you hope its enough to wash down her 5000 calorie lunch and then tell her it's good that she keeps that 12 dollars because she will need to starts a fund for her children as they will obviously need therapy when that get older cuz she's s a sh I tty parent! Then end it with a big F U C K you and stutter this ( middle finger )

Sorry for misspellings and text talk but I'm mad!
On another note W made a crockpot rolled oats apple thing... Glad I'm moving !

wiki you are a beautiful person. that woman was ugly inside and out . i am so sorry for the ugly in the world .please dont stop doing what you do .the world needs people like you. you make it better .you balence the ugly

My older son left for a week of service working on Hurricane Sandy victims homes. I need to finish laundry...I didn't do h and my work clothes yesterday. But honestly I just want to sleep.

Ok, apperently I have anger issues and a potty mouth and can go from normal to ghetto in 3.2 seconds , apologizes to any I offend ... Just keeping it real! I love me some Wiki and nobody treats my friends that way and gets away with it!

I should straighten up the house and go grocery shopping too since my niece is coming to our house to babysit this week instead of my son going to another day camp but can I once again say I just want to sleep.

Thank you everyone! Lola...I may just bring her that 2 liter bottle. Thanks sista!

Ready can you rest awhile and get the groceries and laundry later?

Thanks for the idea but I'm afraid if I went to sleep now I would either wake up super cranky or sleep all night...so h and I are splitting up the straightening and he is going grocery shopping and I an going to laundromat. That's the plan unless I lay down on the sofa.....

I have t on Thursday and I'm supposed to have been writing in my journal of all the things that could happen if Someone gets angry or disappointed in me...I haven't thought about it since the day after session almost 2weeks ago... I have one thing but its so not logical.

OK i feel horrible because on other thread i have expressed an undesirable opinion about something i feel very strongly about and all is said is how people need to be supportive and so on .sometimes this place seems so messed up .that people who are harming others can come here and get support in not doing anything .i feel like crap and that i am wrong for feeling this way or at the least saying something . i hate keeping my mouth shut about this kind of thing . it was made to keep my mouth shut all my life about abuse .and if just once had someone who could do something about the mother saying i was fine etc... if one person was willing to go against the norm and see me as a child and not the needs of the mother my life would have been very different . but i am bad because i don't feel all lovey lovey and want to keep my mouth shut and be all supportive of someone who really doesn't want to help the situation and care for the children in the situation .i am the evil one . life is so so so confusing i guess if i want friends here or people to care about me again i need to accept the abuse i see also. just how i feel .god it is everywhere even in a forum like this . but hey equal rights for all even abusers . unless you are a child then it is whatever. we must be fair to all

Granite.... Be you we all have that right. We can't make people see what they don't wanna see. ((((( Granite ))))))

Wikid - sorry to hear about the unpleasant woman.

RTS - I am glad your husband is splitting some of it with you, but goodness you are spending a lot of time drying clothes at the laundry mat. I forget if you said you had tried or not, but if you don't have room for a line, what about a couple of smaller clothes drying racks? You might have to wash more, but stuff does dry within a day and so you could avoid the laundry mat. OR maybe this is just my dislike of laundry mats. Would craigslist possibly have a dryer you could pick up cheaply for the time being?

Granite - I did not see anyone calling you evil. I believe people can disagree without anyone being evil. It is a highly emotional situation and complicated emotionally and psychologically for the people involved and people who hear about it, in my opinion. Plus one really does not know all the facts or dynamics or truth about anything posted on this forum, not because of wrong doing or intent on anyone's part, but just because of the nature of truth and perspective and relativeness.

Hey, granite, I am totally in agreement with what you have posted on that same subject in this thread and the other. The story that follows might be hugely triggering -- it is about child abuse and involves the death of a child -- but it explains my position:


I had a case where a woman was abused. Her relatives reported the abuse, and the police arrested the guy and division of family services stepped in and said if she let the guy back in the house, she would lose custody. She then lied to police and the division of family services to "help" her abuser boyfriend and said he didn't actually hit her. Based on her lies, the charges were dropped and he moved back in. He killed her son a few months later, and she was charged and convicted of first degree murder on an aiding and abetting theory. She is now serving a life sentence and I think she totally deserves it. I had to withdraw from the case because there was no way I was going to argue her lying to police and DFS was okay and she was not equally responsible for that child's death.