Couch 54, Where Are You?

MKAC the quinoa queen.

Ugh I hate that post therapy yuck feeling.
Hope the feeling passes quickly! Did you make a plan on how to handle those feelings? Maybe your t could call and leave you a message to listen to for reassurance that you are not yucky...

Well the cops came and arrested H today. I even called and told them I was lying but they saw the injuries and don't believe me. I don't want H to go to jail, have a criminal record, risk losing his job, or to decide it's not worth continuing to work through our issues. He is livid and I'm certain he'll use this as his excuse/reason to leave. I am so sad. I know most of you won't understand.

I packed a bag for him and arranged for a friend of his to pick him up and let him stay with him until his court date on Monday. I am so scared for him. I don't want them to issue a restraining order, I want him to come home

I am sorry that this is difficult for you, and I understand why all this is scary. I do hope that this leads to better things for you, your children, and that this might lead to your husband getting help.

Well right now I am just trying to repeat stuff to myself that T would say.. It is not my fault, I not a bad person, etc..I know I can always e-mail him, whether or not I will get response is up in the air, and considering it is the weekend, there is even more of a chance that he will respond. I will make it through the weekend, and if I am not doing better I can call on Monday and ask if I can get in earlier or maybe call and leave a message see if I can talk to him for a couple of minutes.

I've had many of those conversations in my head...it's so good that we have internalized so many good things from our ts...

What do u have planned for your first really free weekend ?

I have a graduation party tomorrow, church and another grad party on Sunday.. It is supposed to be hot here this weekend, and we really need to get a A/C for the kid's room..So, we will spend the morning hunting for one tomorrow, they have a really small window in their so, I think we gonna have to make one fit in there

********TRIGGER FOR TALK OF RAPE*******************



T and I talked about going to the place where the rape happened. I told him I made a decision.. I want to go, I want him to come with me, and I want my MC to be the third person.. and if we don't do it soon than I might chicken out and not do it at all. He said, kind of pondering to himself, well we have some stuff to work out. I asked him, what?.. he hesitated and said payment. He said, I don't mean to sound cold. I was a bit annoyed, but whatever. Then he mentioned it was interesting that I picked two men to go with me b/c I was raped by two teenage boys. I said, It thought about it and it made more sense to have my MC go with us as it may make it easier for me to talk about those issues in MC if he went with us. HE said, that was a good point, but what if he had one of the female Ts in the practice go with us instead. At that point, I was just like whatever you want. I get it, he doesn't want to be alone doing this, I get that I might have an extreme response, I think he thinks it would be good to have a woman there if I break down sobbing whatever.. I don't know. I just hate that it is such a big deal.. I know it just to have accountability of whatever, but come on.. We talk about all of that in our sessions alone all the time. I am a bit frustrated about making these arrangements and it is making me not want to do it!!

Sounds frustrating.... Why would he offer mc as a choice in the first place if he wanted a woman along? Or maybe it just occurred to him that two males might be too much similar and it might be easier for you to have a female there.

Has your t mentioned whether he has done something like this with other clients?

I think it may have just occurred to him today when I told him who I wanted to go with me that it would be two males. Although, when I made the point of MC going it may make talking about these things easier he seem to take that into consideration. He said he will get the ball rolling, Its on a local army base, behind people's houses.. So, he has to call the director of behavioral health and ask how we would go about wandering around people's yards in base without getting the mps called on us

I hope it works out just the way you need it to!

((( Healed ))) - UGH. I hate it when business matters and logistical issues come in to play when it's something so personal and difficult. My T offered to come to a couple of "scenes" of the abuse with me, and I haven't taken him up on it yet. He never suggested to bring someone else, although if it were to actually happen, I wonder if he would. I can understand wanting to have someone else there and considering your circumstance, that the other person be female - but really, so as not to trigger you and to help provide some grounding in case it becomes difficult for you. It's one thing to visit the scene and do some work around it, but it's another to go the extent of recreating it, kwim?

Back from my sister's.....Met the new puppy. Adorable! Loved seeing the two dogs doing well together. My BIL is a piece of work though. He loves the new puppy because it's the same breed as the one who passed away recently - and he's totally favoring the new puppy over the other one. And he's mean and controlling. Can't stand it.

But...anyhoo....seeing the puppies was just what I needed to brighten my day. Of course, now I'm home and....well....my cat just doesn't love on me the same way puppies do. LOL.

Gotta try to get to bed. Have to get up and out the door early tomorrow....

Goodnight, couch peeps.

Hey, wikidpissah
Amen to that!! I am feeling a little guilty for spending that much $$ but heck....I deserve it
Are you familiar with a town called Tewksbury? I'm thinking that you are from Mass. I have a good friend that lives there....very cute town

So, while I was driving home from work with my husband, my phone rang and it was my T. I let it go to voice mail and checked later. In the message, he said he was thinking about me and our conversation, and that I had said that I 'primarily' wanted to discuss the scheduling. So he was wondering if there was something else I wanted to discuss. He concluded by saying he was probably just being neurotic, but he wanted me to call if there was something I needed.

Now I feel badly that I have not been able to call him back and tell him he's not at all being neurotic; he's being perceptive and wonderful and ... My H and I had already made plans to go out, and I just don't feel like talking about my anxiety attack and worries about T thinking I'm weird in front of H.

The leak was where a hose connected to a brass tap. The hose has socket/nut thing that screws onto the thread of the tap. That's where the leak was. So I bought some plumber's tape and wrapped in round the tap thread before putting the hose back on. Not easy, because it is inaccessible. I had to stand on one foot and lean and reach beind. But I gave it seven layers of tape and that did the job.

Yay! Kiwi ingenuity wins again. W said, "You're my hero!"

I do understand. But you had to do something or it would just have gone on and on. There was no way to change him without hurting him.

Grrr! Is it so totally impossible for a T go the extra mile without charging for it?

HONOURABLE MENTION:
On the one occasion when Madame T and I went together to see a second T, she did not charge me. She made me pay the second T, but took nothing for herself.

Mine. I want. Mine!!! (predictable apteryx)
Honestly, that's glorious. Thanks!

Morning all. I woke up at eight and went outside to read on the terrace. It's overcast but warm (to us anyway) and very restful.

jkbob, I understand that this is painful for you now. I hope and believe that it will lead to better things for you and for your H. How can you two work through any issues if he resorts to violence? He needs help for that. It's painful when we cannot help those we love, but in some cases it just isn't possible, and to be blunt, if you are prepared to lie to protect him from the just consequences of what he did, you are not actually helping anyone. And this is the best thing for your children. You love them and they need you to do what's best for them.

so got hardly no sleeep last night because i kept waiking up panicked about something that i was supose to do for someone who i am seeing thismorning.it is to late now. i am so sorry and am terrified she is going to be mad .thinking of not doing this scrapbooking thing now and never seeing these people again

I'm sorry to hear you had a bad night, granite. It really is a horrid feeling when we feel that we've let someone else down. But almost always, it's much bigger in our own brains, know what I mean? Sometimes people don't have the time to do things they have promised to do. It happens to all of us, and the world doesn't end.

This is easy for me to say, I know, and I really do understand that feeling of panic at the thought of meeing her. But I think you just might feel better afterwards if you just met up, apologised for not doing whatever it was, and asking if you can do it later, or so something to make it up to her.

People do not get mad at you as much as you get mad at yourself, granite. We all love you here, and we have your back.

Granite , stuff happens ... It's ok and no don't bail on this. You love scrapbooking and so do they. (((Hug)))). Hey Apt! I'm up cause its garage sale day, I hate these things!

Morning, Lola! Hope the sale goes well.