Couch 54, Where Are You?

Good morning, couch peeps.

Granite - I hope you decide to go today and face your friend. She may be more understanding than you believe. I know it's anxiety-producing, but running away from it will not make you feel better. You'll feel as though you're constantly avoiding her, which can lead to painful feelings that are drawn out for way too long. 20 seconds of courage!

Lola - Hope you make some money and get rid of some stuff at your garage sale! I am gearing up to have one as well. It's a lot of work and doesn't usually yield a lot of money, but heck, something is better than nothing!

Getting ready to hop in the shower and get to my friend's house. Long day ahead. Hope everyone has a good day!

Good Morning...
Granite, listen to the wise couch peeps. It'll be okay, just say "I'm sorry I didn't get to it, I've had a busy week" People honestly don't get angry about stuff like that.

Went down to check on my ducklings, couldn't see them. Sigh. I was worried about them last night.

they are out playing with there new friends

thanks lola . i hope it all goes well today for you

thanks mastodon i am going to try and fix it thismorning. i hope i can

thanks i am going to go if i can fix it thismorning. i hope you have a good day with your friend

i sent a message to the woman i was supose to pick something up for and she said it was ok

Way to go, Granite! Glad that you addressed it and that it worked out. Hope you have a good day too!

May I ask the couchinistas a multi-part question? If you are feeling anxious, whether it is about something you have to do, or death anxiety, or some unspecified anxiety that you can't quite identify why it is there, is there anything that other people can do to make you feel better? What kind of person (friend, spouse, family, T, pet, secret lover you keep in the attic) would be best suited to help? What kind of person would not be a good candidate to help? What could they do? I know that the answer to the last part depends on what you are anxious about - if it's worry about an upcoming trip, practical assistance might be helpful, but if it's general anxiety it might not be; I'm interested in both.

I'm not asking about things to do for yourself to relieve anxiety, this is only an attempt for me to understand how other people function as regards wanting help/support/comfort from one another (or not wanting it at all).

i think it depends on the situation that is causing the issue. like my situation no one but dealing with the person will get rid of it.but if it is something inside or i am not aware of the reason it is so hard to feel better. sometimes my hubby can help calm my nerves but for the most part i just Waite it out

As you said, Mast, it depends on the anxiety. My H is sometimes really helpful with work anxiety -- practical help and reassurance that everyone makes mistakes, and cuddling helps me sometimes. My T and one friend are super helpful about getting me to isolate WHAT exactly about this situation is anxiety producing -- fear of failing and what that means to me; fear of what others will think or say; etc. T is really good at getting me to see that what I fear can happen, and yet I live through it. He is trying to get me to see that mistakes do not define people, and the entire world doesn't collapse.

Morning couch.

I came home and fell asleep after my long day yesterday and didn't wake up until 8:30 this morning. That's a lot of sleep, but I probably needed it after my long week.

Looks like I missed the talk on sex offenders, so I won't bring up anything about that.

As far as the question someone asked about plans for the summer. I made a new one a coupld days ago. While I was in college I read all of the books in "The Chronicles of Amber." I made a plan this summer to re-read them. I'm already through the first book and half of the second. I can do this. :-P

Lola, I hope your garage sale goes well.

I should have had one last summer before I moved, but I decided against it as I figured I wouldn't make that much money (I had no big ticket items because I lived in an apartment), so I just took my clothes that didn't fit anymore to Good Will and all 30+ boxes of books I had to the local library. I did go through the books first and keep ones that had sentimental value. But the rest I did not care about anymore, so I figured the local library would love to have them. I also donated the massive amont of new/unused school supplies I had to a local organization that makes packaged for kids who can't afford to buy their own. It felt so good to get rid of stuff and now I am thinking about purging some more. I have a whole storage closet of crap that has been in there for a year that I haven't used. I also still have several boxes of crap in my dad's garage that has been there since I got out of college, that I should probably go through and do something with.

I may put some of the crap I have now on craigslist, like my Wii and Wii games, those might actually sell. Or maybe I can find a kid at school who can't afford one and would like to play with it. I don't know.

Well, I think I rambled enough. I need to be at my grandma's in an hour because my cousin is coming down with her 3 month old son who I haven't seen yet. I need to get dressed and everything still.

I hope everyone has a decent day.

Lola - How is the garage sale going?
Wiki - have the ducklings showed up yet?
Granite - I hope you decided to go to your scrapbooking thing
Squirrel - hope you have fun with your visit
MUE - hope you have fun with your friend
Mast - Hope you enjoyed your time outside
MKAC - What are your plans for today?

I plan to take a load of stuff to goodwill today, of course there is lots of laundry to get done and I want to push my son a little to get stuff going on his Eagle Project...

Ooh. I want to reread those, now, too. I haven't read Zelazny for ages.

Sorry...I'm feeling a bit... meh today.

Don't read anything that follows. Just move on to the next post in the thread, and if you do read on, don't linger or dwell. I'm not asking for attention, just wanted to put finger to glass to see the words in photons, and someone else too, so it's not so quite lonely

Last night I read a lot about DBT, including radical acceptance. Except it seems like radical self-denial, or radical- redirection. I've decided to give it a shot, except like my therapist said about therapy "you don't want to be doing this forever," I'd put a time limit on getting better, and not unfairly short... Some years in the future, and circle a date on a calendar.

It seems fair that if I dont see some tangible gain that I give myself permission to just give the ***** up. What's the point without progress?

Today I want to hide, isolate, pull the blankets over my head, pretend like I don't exist.

Ce: see it seems like men have all these magic tricks, really good things, that women don't normally know about. Like plumbers tape and powered screw drivers, that work like magic and make life possible.

Mast: for me it's weirdly all or nothing. Or maybe just baby steps til the change is made internally, then it's full speed ahead. Like today I woke up remembering dreams of being productive, and now I feel like no one is standing in my way, finally. As opposed to the learned helplessness I was raised with to control me. The baby steps I have been taking were just to get my basic bodily functions under control - eating, sleeping, pooping (tmi, sorry!). Last night I dreamt about cleaning my desk and having soft beautiful hands! Usually things I have anxiety about. From what I have read about hoarders, the only cure is long term psychotherapy. So I think that's my answer - nothing short term, only long term.

Healed... I understand those feelings... for me sometimes the source of those feelings are caused by grieving things I didn't have/don't have and sometimes its just general depression/anxiety about everything...

do you think you can push past them or is today one of those days that its best to do just that? with the general depression/anxiety feelings I have been able to learn (not all the time does it work) to just notice the feelings ... and keep on going...doing the things I have to do whether I feel like it or not... or doing something fun with someone different as a distraction... those 2 things seems to help...not in the exact moment but the feelings hang around less...

the grieving feelings just need to be grieved and for those... I take the time to stay in bed with the covers over my head...

I hope you are finding ways to cope today.

Hankster... your posts always encourage me... I having stuff issues... just too much of it.. and I get overwhelmed and want it all to be done today... and I realize that I don't have to view it as all or nothing but as steps after reading your posts. so thanks...

so what is your next step that you forsee taking now that you've conquered the baby steps...

for me its filling up one load of my trunk with stuff for goodwill... I already have one bag of clothes and one bag of shoes...

thanks, granite and mkac.... also hankster, though I admit I don't quite understand your reply (but that's ok because I know others do )

Hey all... the ducklings are with a flock of other Mallards! They all came by this morning to see if I had put out kibble, and I had. Water Fowl Starter and lettuce. They seemed pleased and waddled on their way. It was so good to see they've found the other ducks. Yay. They're gonna do great.

Apt...when my anxiety gets bad, I have this one friend who is great at distracting me. I will actually say "Can we just pretend like nothing's going on?" And she does. She just hangs with me and asks no questions. She did that a lot when I was sick, and it was so refreshing to get a break from people asking me a zillion health questions. That old line "Act as if" comes to mind.
H is really good if I am depressed, but not so much when I am anxious. I have found that when I am really anxious I am too much in my head, so distracting with a friend is always better than analyzing it.

What do you get when you mix roasted beets with avocado and mash it all together? The yummiest guacamole with the most disgusting color! Ha ha ... I won't be serving it, but boy it tastes good.

Wiki....so glad to hear the ducklings have found a family.

Hi Murray... I "see" you.

Hi Ready how are you?

I'm so happy the ducklings are settling into their new habitat.

Just finished eating take out eggplant with garlic sauce. So good. Ate way too much but it was so tasty.