Does anyone else feel like this in T? My T prints off all my emails and texts and I know if I see a bit of paper peeking from his pocket at some stage he will whip it out and say "Well, in that email/text you said...." Then I sometimes have to justify an innocent comment. I do feel attacked sometimes.

[stopdog]

No. The therapist I see can't remember anything well enough for that. I do it to her however. But I do not believe therapists make innocent comments.

Eek, that's not good! I would feel very weary of what I say if t did that. Do you feel it is safe to say what you like?
This is an aspect of therapy that bothers me very much!

[Wren_]

Usually I'm the one doing the remembering what was said before and using it

[WhiteClouds]

Ironically this thread begin as I was mulling over something my T recalled something from over a year ago. I told him my perception of my love relationships before I was married. He then brings it up again. I feel like every time he talks to me now he view me literally as a prostitute.
Which takes me into the meat of the conversation. *sigh* Perhaps he is rather unorthodox, unprofessional with me because he views me as a body selling, POS. Not looking forward to tomorrow. And not looking forward to disclosing too much no time soon.

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Eek, that's not good! I would feel very weary of what I say if t did that. Do you feel it is safe to say what you like?
This is an aspect of therapy that bothers me very much!

When I'm feeling insecure I don't like it. But when I'm willing to explore things behind what I say/do, then yes. I'm just feeling a bit paranoid at the moment. I think he uses as a way to point out my inconsistent behaviour and explore why I am bewildered by how others reaact to me.

This could be it too but I think they have to also print everything out incase somebody tries to sue them.
My t1 used to bring up things I had said months ago and it felt like she was throwing things in my face, it's horrible

[Miswimmy1]

I feel like this all the time. I feel like I constantly have to be on guard about what I say or else it will be used against me. I hate it

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

Does anyone else feel like this in T? My T prints off all my emails and texts and I know if I see a bit of paper peeking from his pocket at some stage he will whip it out and say "Well, in that email/text you said...." Then I sometimes have to justify an innocent comment. I do feel attacked sometimes.

I was angry with Madame T because she never did this! It was like she didn't read them at all.

[Moodswing]

Hah! Mine always has my e-mails printed out. He paraphrases my words. He does not use them against me but does see patterns in my thinking and, emotions and actions. It helps give him a target for EMDR.

Damned if they do (remember and want to discuss) and damned if they don't. If they don't bring up emails or remember what you say, then they don't care or aren't paying attention or aren't professional, etc., etc. if they do remember and find what you said to be important, then they are using it against you or throwing it in your face or attacking you.

[ScrewedUpMe]

I think it's quite good that your T is that attentive that he prints everything out and seems to really analyse it. But I can also see that you may not want to explain every little thing that you said! My T used to print out my emails but doesn't anymore and sometimes asks me to remind her what was in my last mail etc. which I really don't like and does make me feel like she isn't as interested anymore. So I would prefer what your T does!

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

When I'm feeling insecure I don't like it. But when I'm willing to explore things behind what I say/do, then yes. I'm just feeling a bit paranoid at the moment. I think he uses as a way to point out my inconsistent behaviour and explore why I am bewildered by how others reaact to me.

That seems to me as if it would be enormously helpful in the long run for improving your life. Can you just let him know when it's feeling like too much?

I don't email much, but my T has printed things out and wanted to talk about them, when it was a long email or a story I attached to an email. I am embarrassed and cringe about it, but I know that it is necessary for me to actually address certain things.

[southpole]

Mine remembers everything which is simultaneously awesome and mortifying. I'd prefer that to the other way though. And yes, she will bring stuff up from the past and challenge me with it, it makes me uncomfortable, but I think it's good in the long run, it gives me a chance to work through a lot of stuff that needs to be addressed - I can't keep avoiding it.

[stopdog]

I don't see that therapists are damned if they do and don't in an undeserved fashion. Plus damned either way does nothing to them.

[jadedbutterfly]

I have never had a T with whom I shared e-mails with. I would feel really strange with that... When I am all worked up about something...who knows what I might type! eek
that said, I wouldn't like it if my T whipped out a correspondence and made a confrontation out of it. would not feel safe with a T like that.
sorry you are going through this

My T specifically told me that anything I say can and will be used against me the first time that I saw him. I feel very paranoid about saying anything to him. On the other hand my Psychiatrist made me feel more secure as I freeked out on him after I told him about something that involved my husband, he told me(maybe he said what I wanted to hear, who knows) that it wouldn't be incriminating.

[mandazzle]

I can understand this perspective because I used to think in that way. But I realized that being honest and telling my T everything can help her catch my distorted thinking so I can work on thinking rationally.

[GenCat]

My T prints off all my emails. (she must have a box full) Every time at the beginning of a session my T says, "So I got your email, and lets discuss..blablabla". Sometimes I even forgot I said something she tells me. Other emails I completely forgot I sent it. I find it not helpful to re-visit those emails and uncomfortable for her to re-read parts of them to me aloud. Its like oh yeah! I wrote that...when I was feeling down, and now I feel down again because I remember I wrote that. Thanks for reminding and bringing those emotions up.

[stopdog]

I kind of like the chance to explain what I have written more fully. I always have one or more facts available to distinguish one thing from another if need be. Or one could even take the position one has no need to defend or justify oneself to the therapist.

[BlessedRhiannon]

My T doesn't print out emails, but will pull them up on her laptop to discuss. I'm good with that. It's never confrontational feeling. My T allows me to email her because she knows those are things I want to discuss in session but struggle to bring up. So, her having the email up and ready to talk about is helpful for me in getting the conversation started.

My T does seem to remember everything and it can be annoying when there are things I don't wish to discuss and she remembers and brings them up. If I'm not in a place where I can talk about those things, I just ask T if we can table that for a later session.

[stopdog]

Clearly the one I see needs to start taking namenda or something. Her memory is awful.

[Perna]

I know I got my perception of "and used against you" because my stepmother did do that. My stepmother was a master of asking questions which led one down the road to being "wrong" so anytime my T asked questions, did not matter what "type"/if she just did not understand and was trying to clarify and make sure of what I was saying, it felt like I was being grilled to be found wrong. It was an interesting exercise for me to think about T's questions and question about them and why they were being asked, etc. so I could learn to tell the difference in "types". It's like the old saying that if you only have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Clearly the one I see needs to start taking namenda or something. Her memory is awful.

ha ha ha. Yeah, mine is kind of like this too. I don't really email him about things, but I can see it would be helpful if I did email and he referred to it. My T leaves it up to me to introduce what I want to talk about each session, so he would not bring up a past email unless I did. This approach fits well with his not being able to remember things. I did email him once about a book I was reading and sent a specific quote I knew would interest him. He wrote back that we should discuss this next time. I did want to, but by the time the session came, I had forgotten. He didn't bring it up, so maybe he forgot too. It's too bad, because it would have been a good discussion. I only just now remembered this and it was months ago.... My T told me once that one of the things that makes him a good therapist is his outstanding memory. My jaw must have dropped to the floor.

[Victoria'smom]

Yes, my T has all 200+ notes/mood charts I have wrote in the past 1.5 years. T has the most recent spread on her desk to ask me about them. Any note specifically to her she doesn't mention but will mention any concern I brought up in the letter. My mood charts she will ask me to explain.