[JustAPixie]

I'm seeing a new therapist tomorrow and I don't know what I will say to him... It feels wrong just to launch into the whole thing from the start, what if I decide not to see him again? On the other hand, I can't really hold out much longer... What should I say if he asks why I'm there? I'm so scared of that question! Should I waste a whole sessions just beating around the bush? Beacuase I don't think he will understand me if he doesn't know about the things I went through...

I can't even remember how I started in with my previous therapist. I've been practicing lines all day! I don't want him to think I'm crazy... which I probably am, but he doesn't have to know! lol

My reason for therapy is abuse... my post is in that section. But I can't just say that, can I? What will he think of me? I can tell him I suffer from major depression and ptsd and all, but he won't understand untill he knows, but how do I say it? What if he doesn't lead the conversation and I have to talk on my own?

[pamelasu]

Usually the therapist will know how to start a conversation. He shouldn't ask why you are there, he will find out during your time together. Hang in there! You are brave to start talking about your problems! It's a good thing. *hugs*

[cappuccinogirl65]

Ok, YOU are the one shopping for the therapist....relax. If you want to, you take control of the conversation first...(i.e. "May I ask how long you have been doing therapy")...something like that. Then if he does ask the dreaded question, "so what brings you here today?"...you answer him. I mean, what specifically is bringing you to therapy?...to deal with your past abuse? If so, then say it. Tell him why you are seeking therapy now (i.e. recent thoughts, whatever it is). The best way for you to get what you need to get better is to fell comfortable with your therapist, trust him/her, and be able to tell them anything! This may take a few sessions to get to that point but if you hit it off good then you have a winner!! You don't have to indulge every detail of your abuse during the first session; the first session should be him getting to know you and you getting to know him/her. GOOD LUCK and keep me posted. Don't worry, most therapist are crazy too...believe me I KNOW!

[JustAPixie]

Thanks pamelasu and cappuccinogirl! I will keep you posted!

Take a breath and try to relax. your first few sessions are going to be mainly the therapist asking you questions so that the two of you can make your therapy plans - goals.

questions like -
name
address
phone number
why you are looking for therapy (this can be however short or long you want your answer to be)
a genreal idea of your problems
what you want to accomplish in therapy.

after you have a feel for the therapist and the therapist about you the harder work begins with you or your therapist bringing up a topic or problem you discuss and work on for that session based on your problems and goals.

When I start with a new therapist I spend some time through out the week and or day before the appointmnet writing down things like why I need or want to be in therapy and what I see as my problem areas and some brainstorming on ways to fix those problems. then I sometimes take that with me to my first few therapy sessions. its amazing how when just meeting a new therapist that therapist will ask me whats your phone number and I draw a complete blank because I was so worried about the harder questions. LOL

[JonB]

I get so nervous about what to say too -mostly because I'm not a talker -- but I am an organizer, so I write down my answers to the typical questions already mentioned by others - what brings you here to day - what do you want to change - what is your history of this problem.
I give the highlights and figure we'll get to the drill down later,
The trick is to actually bring the written answers with you so when you go blank you can look down and read from the page - or hand it over if you're not a talker.

[JustAPixie]

So I went today......... I'm such an idiot! I have never ever let my walls come down so quickly! I couldn't stop, and I said way too much! I feel so stupid... he must think I'm a total whacko! I have been holding it in for so long that when I finally had the opportunity to say something I spilled my guts to a total stranger! I really liked the guy... we connected so quickly, he is studied the exact same as I am doing now (psych and educational post grad) which gave us something to talk about in the beginning, and then he asked that dreaded questions... "Why are you here" Do they know how much we fear that question? I told him that it is a loooong story and has to do with abuse... so he asked what kind of abuse... so I said one type had to do with occultic rituals and the other was rape by two officers... and from there on I couldn't stop talking... I have never verbalized these things before. With my previous therapist I wrote it down because I couldn't say it. I just feel so awful now... I don't want to go back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wisewoman]

Oh honey feel strong and brave because you were and are. It took me years to have the words said outloud and stay in the same room with them. Good Job. You done good.

[Rapunzel]

Tanya, you did very well! That's what he's there for, to give you a chance to tell your story and then help you to recover. Getting it out is scary and yucky, but now that you have done that you're past one of the hardest things already. I think being able to say it is progress. Don't be ashamed to go back. It's perfectly okay in therapy to tell those things, whenever you are ready to, including right off the bat if you can. I think you are very brave.

[bipolar_bear]

How brave! I think it is wonderful that you were able to tell him so much. Now that it is out in the open hopefully you will be able to progress from there. You are so futunate to have found someone that you like. Please take advantage of that relationship.

[JustAPixie]

Thank you everyone! My next appointment is only in 2 weeks, so hopefully by then the humiliation would have faded!

[Bethsway]

Tanyagrave I think because you opened up so quickly with him...that he is the right therapist for you...I don't think if you felt reservations about him you would have done that...I think you are going to trust this therapist and hopefully he can help you ....good luck Tanyagrave!!!

[JustAPixie]

Thanks Bethsway! What you said made sense...