Couch 58 A place to sit and......

It went, I think she is Stopdog.

I told W not to come visit me this weekend.

Are you gonna go back to country T? And, I am glad you told W not to come, if that is what you want! Good for you for standing up for yourself!

LC - good job.
I am trying to picture me as a therapist in texas.
And failing.

Wiki, I agree that good and evil balance each other out, but like others have said I think it occurs on its own. I do not think that you have to “try” to do good to balance out the evil your father did. I am also happy to hear about your daughter's team winning at school.

Granite, glad to hear that your dad is home and doing well.

Mast, I hope things improve for you soon. I understand how things get busier when school is in.

MKAC, I'm sorry you had a “want to punch people in the face” moment today.

RTS, I think it is a good thing to schedule time for just you and your husband. Then you can focus on each other during that time and maybe strengthen your relationship a little.

Healed, I would agree with what others have said. If T said you “scared” him, it means he cares about you.

BPA, sorry you are still feeling crappy and sick. I hope you get well soon.

CL, glad to hear the neurologist appointment went well.

Lola, good job telling W not to come. You stood up for yourself and what you wanted. That's a good thing.

Im not sure how I feel about Country T or what I told W. I feel nothing right now. Except all alone.

Yea the desks are light gray, so light really reflects off of them.

Oh SD.. It would be the ultimate of wily T moves.. you parading around here acting all attoneryish- (I know, I know not a word).. and really you are a back country T in Texas who loves to give hugs to all your clients

Oh yea...no bus for me this year, so I can do C.

There are only 2 busses this year, so I don't even have to be the fill-in person. Yay! Good thing too because one of the drivers is the same a s s I had to ride with last year.

I am happy.

Well, I need to get to bed. I have to get up in the morning. First day with kids tomorrow.

I hope everyone has a good night. Sleep well.

That would be exceptionally wily indeed.

Well, I am all settled and finally connected to the internet again. Whew...was a rough few days with no computer.

It's so strange to be in a new place but it is okay I think. Went out Sunday eve and bought new living room furniture, tvs and dining room set. Then today bought washer and dryer. Can't wait until it is delivered so I have some where to sit and can do laundry again. I'm too fat, old and out of shape to be sitting on the floor with my laptop on my lap.

Sorry that so many on the couch are struggling.

Wishing you well Murray.

Has wiki revealed the guitarist yet? I'm heading out to the doc, if she does and I miss it could someone pm me please. I'm dying from curiosity as well as dehydration.
Hope everyones days better than mine. cheers

Damn! I fell asleep at a decent hour tonight only to starting having nightmares right away! I don't think that I slept for more than a half and he!! Boooo!

What an imagination!

God, RTS, I am SO MUCH sympathising with you here. Having a time assignation does not work and when it doesn't it's extra guilt and stress. I am always reading in relationship advice columns that this is what couples should do and it sends my stress levels through the roof.

The "hormonal" comment is pretty much unforgivable, or it would be, to me. You're a better person than I am.

These are my opinions based on my experience and my personality. Others give different advice which might suit you better. But I really identify with your reaction (except I would tell H "yes, sure" and be miserable because I can't take a conflict. Again, you are a better person )

W says she saw an article saying online groups are taking off and they are just as effective as face-to-face groups.

****Trigger warning****
Just in case

Hi feeling a little bit better.
An update on my T session. After 5 1/2 weeks of not seeing him I was so anxious, and I thought we were going to do this new therapy. So I'm waiting and he's asking questions about the last 5 weeks. I told him about the brain snap thing and he asked questions around that. I asked what he thought it was, he artfully talked he's way around it. And then he asked if anything significant happened before this, I had to tell him how I smacked my then boyfriend in the head while having sex because he touched me in the wrong place at the wrong time. I then started dissociating while trying to remember the details of the incident. The room went dark, I felt cold and weak and then got distressed trying to remember where I had felt this before. Then we switched track and talked about uni and the girls and my ex. Plus he congratulated me on my huge achievement of separating my "stuff" from my exs "stuff" I can now hear what my ex has to say without assuming guilt for everything. I am now thinking instead of just reacting, which according to T is a huge achievement I felt this was very high praise and feel suitably proud.

Apparently we are not going to start this new therapy due to the fact I can't afford to come more often than every 3-4 weeks. It doesn't give us time to catch up and the effectiveness of the therapy is diminished.

I still get p***ed that he doesn't explain things to me immediately but lets me struggle to work things out.

I was surprised to find that at first the sexual feelings had diminished but after the session they were back with a vengeance.

Plus he's changing his session times again. Dropping the 2 hrs on Tues and adding all day every second Monday. It's very disconcerting the way he changes things I want to ask him if he is going private fulltime soon, but i don't think it is any of my business.

Hey couch peeps....

((( Lola ))) - I can understand how alone you feel and how difficult this is for you. I remember those times of pushing my H away when we were splitting up - and how awful and alone I felt...knowing that I was doing what I believed was healthy in spite of my instincts telling me something different. It's SO hard.

((( Critterlady ))) - That's great news! What migraine meds are you trying now?

((( Healed ))) - I understand your concern. If your H was worried about you, I'd feel a bit scared....scared of the place I was in and what I might be capable of.

((( RTS ))) - That does sound like pressure, although looking at it from an outside position, it does seem that your H is trying to figure out how to reconnect with you. The fact that he's trying to figure it out is worth noting. Unfortunately, though, I know that for you the feelings just aren't there which is difficult to work through.

((( CE ))) - I'd imagine that there are benefits and drawbacks to online groups.....like the anonymity might allow people to feel more open and able to express themselves honestly, but then lack the physical impact of exchanges.

((( BPA ))) - Glad you're starting to feel better. Your T session sounded intense. For that kind of work, 3-4 weeks between sessions sounds difficult.

Had group T tonight which was somewhat productive. I talked, so that's a plus. A group member, after the session, talked to me about how part of her work in therapy is not to put people on a pedestal and idolize them - and she said that I was one of those people. EEK! She said that she gains so much every time I speak - and that I have such wisdom and am one of the smartest people she knows. ACK! It felt weird, because I am certainly NOT someone worth idolizing, nor am I the sharpest tool in the shed. She was shocked to learn that I don't have any college experience....I gotta say, she's in for a rude awakening when she takes me off that pedestal and sees me for who I really am.

After group, I spent til 3 AM on Second Life, at the encouragement of a friend. I resisted the idea, because you basically play out your fantasies online - which leaves the potential for one to pay less attention to making their real lives better. But, I gotta say - I had a great time! Met a guy, danced, chatted, kissed, explored different areas, had lots of sex... ...and then learned that he was nearly 20 years younger than me. What a downer. It was fun, though.

I am so hungry at the moment because I haven't eaten anything other than a bagel.....and that was 14 hours ago. But since it's nearly 4 AM, I really should just try to go to sleep...

Goodnight!!

Critterlady, I hope all future scans show no change.
Lola, good for you.
Wiki, who was the guitarist?
Granite, hope all is well with your dad.

Oh YES, wiki!!!! WAITING!!!!! Gotta know who this guitarist finally is!

Morning couch.

Well, I woke up at 6am and could not get back to sleep. Oh well...it will just make for a longer day. I hope today goes well. First day back is always an interesting experience. The 8th graders are anxious about new teachers while the 7th graders are anxious about starting middle school and having to switch classes (middle school is only 7/8 in my county). Hopefully, we won't have any issues today...and hopefully we won't have any "handfulls" this year. Though I think we will because the teacher said the had a 4 hour meeting last Friday about one of the kid's behaviors and behavior plan with the teacher, guidance counselor, administration, student, and parents. He said the parents even brought a lawyer to help them fight for their side. Not that bringing a lawyer is "bad," it's just kind of unusual.

Well...I'll pop back in later this morning as I don't have to be at work until 9am.

Hope you have good day Squirrel. If I wasn't so irritable and unpredictable I'd love to do something in the teaching field.

Good morning...
Sorry, I fell asleep listening to really cool BLUES guitar riffs. lol

Ok...old school, really old school, black guitarist.

H was all "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy" lol.

He's a friend of a guy H has been working with, and it was just a surprise for H, not really a session. H told the guy "I can't charge you for this" rofl.

Got some cool pics to post on H's website.