Couch 58 A place to sit and......

WOW, MKAC! What an amazing accomplishment for your D! I'm sure you are beaming with pride.

((( Mastodon ))) - Anxiety sux. I am constantly trying to push away anxiety, and it is an awful feeling. I hope we find a way to gain some peace and work through the underlying causes.

((( Healed ))) - Ugh. Definitely not an ideal way to spend your 10 year anniversary. (( HUGS ))

((( Wiki ))) - I'm so sorry. I'm not sure what your beliefs are, but I hope that she knows and understands now why you weren't there. It's hard to come to grips with the unknown - and never knowing what someone was experiencing can be devastating.

On a kinder note:
I am making hummingbird cupcakes for Sunday and the house smells INCREDIBLE. I had to make them today as we'll be away tomorrow. Hopefully I'll have some time tomorrow night to whip up some cream cheese frosting.

Wikid, if they made the choice not to tell people, she understands why you were not there. For what it's worth, I agree they are making the wrong choice about your MIL. I think that's awful not to give her the chance to say good bye.

House was supposed to close at 10... Of course there is a problem... Uggg

W figured up bills and after its done ill walk away with 23k in debit to her 12k and ill be paying all the bills out of my check on the 15th. I can't wait til this is over... We are still going to have car insurance together and cellphones, I'm debating on trying to separate those as well. I am over this ...so f'in over this.

Called and left another message with T.. I have very little hope he will get back to me

Sitting at K's. I am off at my normal time today, so I should be able to relax a little this afternoon.

I am extremely stressed though. Or maybe it is more anxiety. I don't know.

At the end of last school year I had to sign a bumping form. What that means is if there is no job at my current school for me then I would be willing to transfer to another school if it meant keeping a job. We have to sign one every year. Usually we hear the last week of July what school we've been assigned to. However this year the school board is still not done with the process and assistants go back on Monday. I hate not knowing where I will be. I really hope I am not moved somewhere else as I like my school and they are easy to work for and allow me to come in late when I have appointments with T. I don't know if another school would be so understanding of that. I could show up at my school on Monday and then get a call saying go to x school you've been bumped. Ugh! Please let them keep me at my current school. Seniority used to play a roll, buy they did away with it this year. That is why I am more stressed about it this year than in previous years.

Gads Lola...seriously? You know what I'd do. I don't d ick around when it comes to finances. Separate everything. Every. Last. Thing. Protect yourself.

Healed...give me his effing phone number, I need to kick his ***** into gear. WTF? A t should call back. Sheesh.

Squirrel...hoping you get what you want.

wikid, knowing that you have been going through so much ***** without the support of any T whatsoever makes me feel really guilty that I make you keep track of my pathetic few T-less weeks. I'm not sure I could have done this without you, though.

I'm sure she did know you loved her. I really am.

Ha ha... you MAKE me keep track? That's a laugh. I just know that yesterday you said it was 12 days. I'm good at math.

Believe me, I am much more stable without a t for some reason. I am odd that way.

Well, yes, I use my hypnotic mastodon powers.

T asked me to do a budget and really try to figure out how long I can sustain living in my house based on my current situation. He offered to take a look at it and provide some objectivity. I just completed it and sent it to him - and I immediately had to run to the bathroom. My body is reacting to this - big time.

He said we would review it together next week. I told him I'd rather not. I really don't want to have the conversation about how I can't afford therapy anymore. I can't be spending 30% of my income on therapy when my mortgage is 90% of my income. I can't spend 90% of my income on a mortgage when my medical expenses take up 65% of my income.

I just don't want to face this.

MUE.... I'm sorry this is so rough... hey if you want to talk real life relocating choices with someone who understands where you live just PM me.

I know you don't want to have to move in with your Mom but maybe there is another option between living with your mom and keeping your house. Maybe it would turn out to be a good thing to start in a new place....

(((Healed)))

Sometimes it helps to grieve for the marriage you don't have... with lots of crying... it sometimes can make it possible to see the reality of the marriage you do have and help to see where you can go from here as a couple... not that I've completed this process or anything but... once you are past that "its not supposed to be this way" , "this isn't what I signed up for"...." this isn't what I imagined" and you have expressed all of those feelings... than you can deal with the reality of what is and see what is possible...(that isn't always a thing that has to end in a bad way.... Wiki's story ended happy)

I am praying for you.

Ugh MUE. Normally budgets aren't supposed to surpass 100% of your income. It may feel awful, but not facing up to it in the long run is going to be worse. Housing (mortgage or rent) should ideally be less than a third of your income. A quarter is perfect, but I am an idealist.

Have you looked into re-fi? Sometimes that can take a chunk off, at least for the short term. Until you can get out from under it. If you are upside down on your mortgage, the government has a few programs available too.

http://www.makinghomeaffordable.gov/pages/default.aspx

Thanks, RTS and Wiki.

I was unable to refinance because I didn't have a sustainable income (other than unemployment)....I looked into a loan modification, but I would have to default on my mortgage for a few months in order to even qualify.

At this very moment, I just need to get through the anxiety and come to a place of being rational so I can explore options and put together a real game plan. I can't seem to do that when I'm flailing around and freaking out. I need to take my emotions out of this task.

Gotta get showered and head out to an assignment at the moment...

MUE...I know the re-mod sounds counter intuitive. Stop paying your mortgage for a few months and then apply for a mod...sounds crazy. BUT...you are going to get to the place where you can't make the payments when you burn thru your savings. Why not keep that money in the bank and apply now? I counseled a couple last year that went thru an inheritance trying to keep paying their mortgage, and things never got better. Had they stopped paying and set out for a re-mod a year earlier, they'd have had a bank account when they came to me. The re-mod can take a year to go thru...during that time you are not only building a bank account, but a back-up plan. If they deny you, you have a way out. If they don't, then you are sitting pretty. It would impact your credit for a year, but if your credit is good now it will be minimal. Plus if the re-mod doesn't work, the gov. will give you up to $7,000 back in moving expenses. I know it sounds like a backwards way out...but in your situation you need to play the system.

ETA: Please don't think I am trying to tell you what to do. I just wanted to give you a alternative way of looking at it.

Thanks, Wiki. I am going to definitely consider what you've said and look into my options.

I do have a question, though. I have some equity in this house, so if I sell it, I may walk away with some money without ruining my credit. Would that not be a better option?

I don't think that is a simple question. Would there be more affordable, less stressful housing for you? Owning a home is not the be all and end all for everyone. I know some people who are much happier in apartments than owning their own house. Some people choose condos (which in my opinion is the worst of both worlds, but others like it a lot).

It very well could be. I always look at the bottom line...how much do you have to shell out to put the place on the market? How is the market in your area? You need to get out quickly, that means putting it at a lower price, can you afford to do that? Having a home on the market means weekly showings and tons of open houses, having the place ready to be seen in an instant. Lots and lots to think about. Some people would think it's better to stay in their home and get their mortgage down at the 30%, but there's no guarantee.

Everyone has a different equitable value. It just depends on what is worth more to you. I would make sure that I didn't use up more money keeping the house than I would eventually gross at it's sale though.

I like what stopdog said. We are renting for a year, and I have to say...I LOVE calling the landlord when things go awry. I love seeing workers come by and do landscaping when I don't have to shell out any cash. I love not playing with the insurance company while they decide whether or not we are in a flood zone. Oh..and the real estate taxes are fairly righteous. As is the water bill.

(not that renting is for everyone, just saying at this point in our lives, I love it)

Thanks, peeps....I appreciate the ideas. It's so overwhelming, but I will definitely make it a goal to work on exploring all of it. Gotta run to my assignment at the moment though.

Thanks so much.

Let's hear it for the normal people! Lol!

((Lola))

Ouch! I'm glad your job is secure.

wow. I checked my etsy account, I made money this month...so I opted to spend it on...etsy stuff. I love my etsy.

I need to start making steampunk jewelry...