[darkside8]

Would you send one for turning up to a session with a very low mood? Not for having a low mood, but for how it affected the session. How it made the therapist feel stuck with helping you move on. How it opened up important information about you, which you, when it got so close to explaining/clarifying so much, blocked it out, blocked T out. As you always do, regardless of how well they understand. I’d find that difficult as a T, which I know doesn’t mean others would, but they could. And most don't want to make things difficult for others.

If not an apology, would you text anything else? (Baring in mind that this T has said you should text if anything pops up following a session like this)

[elisewin]

If you communicate with texts/email and your T is ok with that then there is no reason not to tell what kind of thoughts the session brought up. But you don't need to apologize for your low mood like you said. You did nothing wrong. That's what your mood was that day, and you can and should show up as you are.

I've apologised for something or other in the past by email.
Really what I was wanting was a comforting reply from T because I couldn't manage that on my own.

[darkside8]

Originally Posted by Jessica11

I've apologised for something or other in the past by email.
Really what I was wanting was a comforting reply from T because I couldn't manage that on my own.

May be exactly what I need too.

[nottrustin]

Not sure if I would apologize but I would likely day something like. Thank you for understanding what happened. I know we will get there at some point (if you believe you will).

[Anne2.0]

I would save your thoughts and insights for session. You can write down what you'd like to text in a notebook. See how that feels. Because I think a therapist's reply can often fall short of what you were looking for, and then that interferes with the therapy itself.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by darkside8

May be exactly what I need too.

If you're looking for a comforting reply, I'd come out and ask for it. I've found that's most helpful in communicating with my T over email (he only does text for scheduling) if I add something like, "I could just use a little reassurance right now" or "I could just use a few words of support." I'm more likely to get the sort of reply I'm looking for then. It also depends on how your T usually is with email/text replies--does he normally not reply at all? Or say something like "Let's talk in session?" Because then it could just leave you feeling worse.

[darkside8]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

If you're looking for a comforting reply, I'd come out and ask for it. I've found that's most helpful in communicating with my T over email (he only does text for scheduling) if I add something like, "I could just use a little reassurance right now" or "I could just use a few words of support." I'm more likely to get the sort of reply I'm looking for then. It also depends on how your T usually is with email/text replies--does he normally not reply at all? Or say something like "Let's talk in session?" Because then it could just leave you feeling worse.

I’ve never sent her a text before about anything other than scheduling and sharing session notes so I’m not entirely sure how she’d respond. She is however, the one who encouraged sharing anything I’d like to add via text at the end of previous session - I would personally just make sure i don't send a text that requires her to respond in a way most appropriate during therapy. It would be more of a ‘I know I’m being difficult, I’ll try to get better at this, appreciate your patience’ kind of message. She’s done something similar before - sent me a text the day after a session apologising how abruptly our session ended.
A ‘let's talk in session’ response probably would make me feel some sort of way. Firstly because we don't need to talk much about what I say, it would just be a passing by comment. Secondly, as you said, it would be disappointing to know she would shut me down like that lol. Kinda curious now to test this - I’m so ridiculous! 😶

[susannahsays]

No, I wouldn't. I don't feel the need to apologize for such things, as I certainly wouldn't expect or even particularly appreciate an apology from someone else in the same circumstance - because a person's mood does not wrong me. I have texted the therapist twice to apologize for actions. In the first instance, I had broken an agreement we had made, and in the second, I had been unjustifiably rude to her.

It sounds like your therapist is good with you texting, so that doesn't seem like an issue. However, I think most therapists would take exception to the idea of apologizing to them for having a low mood. That just seems kind of silly. If your low mood made the session unproductive, the only one suffering the consequences for that is you. While I'm sure it's more rewarding to have a productive session from the therapist's perspective, I don't think I'd assume unproductive sessions are "difficult." If they do experience it that way, the therapist needs to deal with those feelings of frustration or whatever, and separate themselves emotionally from whether the client is in a place to do work on a particular day or not. Finding it difficult to work with a client who is experiencing low mood and not able to contribute as usual makes therapy about the therapist and the therapist's needs, not the client.

So I wouldn't apologize. It is not your responsibility to make sure your therapist feels fulfilled by sessions with you. If you want to talk about your desire to apologize, that could be interesting - or how your mood got in the way of a productive session. I just don't think you have anything to apologize for.

[darkside8]

Originally Posted by susannahsays

No, I wouldn't. I don't feel the need to apologize for such things, as I certainly wouldn't expect or even particularly appreciate an apology from someone else in the same circumstance - because a person's mood does not wrong me. I have texted the therapist twice to apologize for actions. In the first instance, I had broken an agreement we had made, and in the second, I had been unjustifiably rude to her.

It sounds like your therapist is good with you texting, so that doesn't seem like an issue. However, I think most therapists would take exception to the idea of apologizing to them for having a low mood. That just seems kind of silly. If your low mood made the session unproductive, the only one suffering the consequences for that is you. While I'm sure it's more rewarding to have a productive session from the therapist's perspective, I don't think I'd assume unproductive sessions are "difficult." If they do experience it that way, the therapist needs to deal with those feelings of frustration or whatever, and separate themselves emotionally from whether the client is in a place to do work on a particular day or not. Finding it difficult to work with a client who is experiencing low mood and not able to contribute as usual makes therapy about the therapist and the therapist's needs, not the client.

So I wouldn't apologize. It is not your responsibility to make sure your therapist feels fulfilled by sessions with you. If you want to talk about your desire to apologize, that could be interesting - or how your mood got in the way of a productive session. I just don't think you have anything to apologize for.

Agreed. Sometimes I feel she relates to some things I say on a personal level, or feels frustrated at herself for not being able to help me. She said she feels stuck. At times it seems she breathes heavy, as I do, when things get stressful and anxs-like. I may be completely wrong. Regardless, she's not doing anything wrong. I truly feel she's trying her darn hardest to do what's best for me.

[Ididitmyway]

No, I wouldn't. If the therapist is ok with you communicating your thoughts in between sessions via texts, you can communicate whatever you are thinking or feeling. But I wouldn't apologize. There is nothing here to apologize for. Your mood should not be a problem for the therapist. You bring whatever mood you have to therapy and it's the therapist's job to work with it. There is nothing to apologize for.

[Lrad123]

Originally Posted by Jessica11

I've apologised for something or other in the past by email.
Really what I was wanting was a comforting reply from T because I couldn't manage that on my own.

I’ve done the exact same thing in the past, and his response was nice and comforting, so it was worth it for me.

[velcro003]

i just recently apologized to my T for something very similar to this. i feel like i am very frustrating and doing therapy all wrong bc i shut down so easily and quickly and we are forever going nowhere. i had a rough session on tuesday, and almost texted her in my car after how sorry i was for being a failure.

i held off bc it felt too intrusive for me, but i ended up emailing her a long email a little later. my T is REALLY good at saying what i want/need to hear in emails, so her response made me feel better.

[stopdog]

I would not apologize for such a situation