[acrooney]

Hi folks,

Newbie here! I'm very interested in exploring a slightly alternative environment to therapy / counselling. For example: <font color="#000088"> Bad environment; You are nervous about your first therapy session and you walk into the therapists office. He is a rather stern - very professional looking man and his office is littered with intimidating degrees. He may have a library of serious books and a very upmarket desk with a "serious" leather chair.</font> Can you give me ideas or examples of where you have felt really comfortable - not just with surroundings but with the manner of the therapist.

Alternatively anything in the therapy environment which puts you off completely!

Thanks

Alistair

[JustBen]

Alistair, I can honestly say that the only place I've ever encountered that above scenario is in a movie or on TV.

[acrooney]

Yes, sorry, I was painting a "larger than life" picture to put my point across. Hopefully people will be happy to explore their pet peeves about the therapy environment - personally I would like to meet people in the park, but the risk of interruption and lack of confidentiality might pose a problem. ;-)

Alistair

[Perna]

The therapy environment is actually comforting/"safe" feeling to me and I like a smaller office. I guess having the other person, the therapist there is the most intimidating aspect :-) not something one can do a whole lot about. My therapist is much smaller than I am and my sex, both of which probably help me. I guess what would be intimidating or uncomfortable would be individual like any other trigger?

I've had to move offices constantly (clinic setting) and know lots of people have to get different times each week or make an appointment each time, that would be upsetting to me; I like knowing where I'll be and when and that it will "always" be like that. Over time I've liked it better when the therapist's seating and my own were similar. At one point my therapist had a rickety desk chair whereas I had a La-Z-Boy so that was a little uncomfortable, keeping things as "even" as possible helps me be more comfortable. I like books and bookshelves and a bit to look at for "distraction" in the room, a window, etc. I guess the biggest help is if the other person is relaxed and comfortable then that helps me be the same.

[Rapunzel]

Two of my therapists used/use a house as the location for therapy. They didn't actually live there - they bought the houses for a place to meet with clients. Both of them also brought a dog or cat along with them sometimes. The therapy room was furninshed with regular chairs/couches you would find in a normal house, but more comfortable than any furniture I own though. There were bookshelves and plants and pictures on the wall. Those have been the best environments. I've considered asking if we could sit out in the backyard under the tree on nice days. These have been the best settings for me.

Another had a large painting on the wall that he did himself. I liked that, especially since my grandfather was a painter, but I kept asking him about his painting and after a few months he took it home and the office was back to bare walls. He used a room at the university because he was travelling from out of town, so it wasn't very homey. Also, there was a big conference table in the room, and we sat across the table from each other. Since I'm short, I could easily hide behind that table. One time I started digging my fingernails into my arm during a session, and I didn't notice for a while, and he didn't notice at all. Paintings good. Books on shelves good (especially if they are not all really stuffy, technical books, but I'm interested in the technical ones too and might pick them up and read them even). Bare walls bad. Conference tables and too many chairs bad. Sitting across a desk or table from client bad.

Another therapist where I didn't feel comfortable had a small office that was very cluttered, and he was sitting at his desk by his computer, although the desk was against the wall so he wasn't looking over the desk at me. There were papers piled all over the place and he fiddled with the papers. I didn't think he was paying attention to me, and he seemed so busy all the time. I felt like he didn't have time for me and there was no space for me either.

[acrooney]

Thanks a ton - some really useful stuff there. My supervisor uses chairs around a coffee table which I think is a step in the right direction, but she has rooms that she shares so there isn't too much leeway. The theraputic value of pets is underated (assuming no phobias!). I absolutely love the idea of sitting out under a tree on a great day - thanks again for the great input - you've no idea how much it helps.

Alistair

[Sarah116]

That's exactly what happened to me. Professional books with like 9 billion pages, dark office full of degrees, leather everything even the picture frames and clock! Dr. Shrinker is stern, serious, never smiles, laughs or anything and wears his glasses perched on the tip of his parrot nose. It is not a good feeling. Thinking of it at home is fine but once you are there and in the spot it is not very nice. Especially with a prescription with your name on it right next to a Schizophrenia brochure! Have a nice day people!

[Hopefull]

My psychologist in college always wore snotty clothes and sat somewhat behind a desk. He made me lead the way to the room and enter a door that said "In Session." I hated that because I'd always get an image of me walking in on a therapy session. I never did of course because he was right behind me. He intimidated me some though.
My second T sat at a desk up against the wall. I tried sitting on the couch and felt too far away from her to have a conversation. But, if I sat in the chair off to the side of the desk, I had to crane my neck to look at her. I ended up with annoyed neck after trying to talk to her. I don't think she ever realized how annoying her office set up was. It didn't help that she was rather blunt and seemed to always make me feel like I was on the wrong end of a blunt object. She just tended to make you uncomfortable with her poking at your dysfunctional side in the first session or two. I don't like people to poke at my dysfunctional side right away. I want to get to know you a bit first before you poke at me.
My current T is nice but isn't blunt. I almost fear that she can't get past my denial capacity. She gently hen pecks at me instead of being blunt.

Explore with who? are you unhappy with your present therapy environment? if so maybe by talking with your therapist the two of you can fix your therapy sessions so that you can be more comfortable.

What each person considers a bad therapy environment depends on what each person individually needs for their own healing work with their therapist.

Some would not consider what you descibed as a bad environmoent if they need a structured and formal environment, others need less formal environments for their therapy process.

So my telling you what I feel comfortable with would not help you in deciding what you are comfortable with ... unless of course this is a research student type question not one coming from your own therapy process. and in that situation again all I can say is that each person must decide for themselves and remind you that the guidelines here state that research on members is not welcome.

If this is from your own therapy process all I can say is what I am comfortable with wont help you in what you need. for that only you and your therapist knows what will make you comfortable so talk with your therapist and the two of you can explore and try a variety of things until you find something that you are comfortable with.

Good luck.

[Evangelista]

My ex-psychiatrist had the office you described..desk far across the room, book shelves piled high with subjects on Neurobiology, Psychological processes of the mind, etc..

Most visits felt like Alice in Wonderland..with him being so far away..gave the illusion of me being much smaller if that makes sense. I felt I understood later, after he self disclosed, at why he kept his office that way, he had been held at gunpoint by a patient...sooo I am assuming that had much to do about the great distance he kept his clients from his personal space.

I am seeing two Therapists currently that have 2 different approaches, and there offices reflect their modalities. One is primarily talk therapy, and the other uses Somatic responses..one office looks very much like a typical therapy office..small couch, chairs, desk, plants..a soothing safe enviroment..

the other much larger, no couch, but plenty of items I am not used to seeing, like blankets, toys, a water fountain, etc..a much more dynamic enviroment, in my terms, and reflects the therapist's treatment modality..but again the same goal is soothing, and safe enviroment..emphasis on safe in both areas of treatment.. and in my humble opinion the Therapist is very much a part of what makes an enviroment safe ......if I dont get that going.....I get going..no matter where the Therapy is being conducted.

Good Luck Alistair!

[Bethsway]

I really felt comfortable in my pdocs office...It has lots of windows and it is bright and airy...he has a book case but has lots of different things to look at on it...very nice smile to go along with bright room...made me feel comfortable

[PasDeDeux]

My T's office is full of things from his life..pictures his dad made, drawings his grandkids made for him. Family pics....handmade scarf I am guessing from mom hanging. An oriental rug and all leather furniture....which is cool because mine is all leather so for me thats comfy and home

[JustBen]

Alistair is asking about decor, but it's funny how often our responses mention the person of the psychotherapist. It's no coincidence that the offices described by Sarah116, Hopefull, and Evangelista match the personality of the shrinks they're describing.

But I wonder...if those very same offices were populated with warm and caring therapists, would we associate the books, desks, leather, etc. with feelings of safety and care? Or do those trappings already have such power in our minds that they mean something to us regardless of who is sitting in the chair across from us?

[jammerlich]

Ben, that's an interesting question. All I can say is, for me, there have been times when I felt my T was extremely warm and caring; but I have always thought her office to be cold and clinical....never warm and homey. In my case, at least, the person and the room do not match.

[Sarah116]

I like that thought Ben!
You are very right there, my psychiatrist is a bit more cold and skeptical, strict, sophisticated and psychologist more warm and friendly. Their offices look a lot different and do match personality traits. I do think that is there is a warm happy Pdoc it will shine through the dark, leather creepy office.

my therapist works in an agency where the therapists don't always have the same room every time. depending on what the sessions call for depends on which room you meet in. For example when I was working on my house project we met in a room that was not LL's office. basically how they set the therapist to rooms is that therapists write down which room they want to use when. I have had my sessions in 9 different rooms located in any of4 buildings that my therapy agency were using and or owned. So the decor does not always dictate the type of therapist.

[JonB]

I can get comfortable enough most anywhere if the T clicks - but in general I prefer large offices where I can move around if I get fidgety. I like Windows too so I can gaze out. I like a choice of seats rather than being directed to the one up close. I like some space myself. I find clutter and office papers, phones, and files are real drag - makes me feel stressed - with my current T it's just the furniture and us - nothing to distract, but lots of choices on where to sit. Good Windows too.

[Numbers]

I got scared away from the one I tried to see. I think I would have got scared anyway but I'll try and say the things that could have been different. Firts he came to get me outside where I had been waiting on a bench and he walked so close to me down the hall to his office. I realy didn't like that. His office smelled like at the dentist and he was so doctor like and looked so authoritive. On the wall he had drawings that he said his patients had drawn. I would have hated if he had hung a picture I drew on the wall for everyone to see, so I didn't draw on the paper he gave me.

I would realy like it if we could have just talked on the bench I think, because we would be sitting next to each other so I wouldn't have to look at him all the time and he couldn't lean across the table like he did. And I wouldn't have felt so trapped like in that office because outside is everybodies space. Also if he would let me stand up and walk around when i wanted and not direct me to a chair.

[Sarah116]

Yeah mine does not really like me to walk around but I still do sometimes. My shrinks office smells a very odd smell of smoke, rubber and peppers! I am allowed to draw, talk, look out the window, play games and with little puzzles and toys. But they keep the drawings to judge you by. Sarah

[JustAPixie]

My new therapist made me feel relaxed from the start... He did not sit in a better chair than me, they were the same. And I know this might sound weird, but every now and then he would use a swear word, and although I don't like people who use such language, it did break the formal mood. And at the beginning of the session his secretary brough us coffee, which was weird, but nice.

When I was in a mixed state & very agitated, I "fired" several therapists I went to for what some might think are petty issues.

One wanted me to hold a doll. Never went back to her.

One I went to several times didn't have any receipts one time so she said she would give it to me the next week. Well, she wouldn't like it if I told her I'd give her the check the next week. Plus she was all dolled up--obviously spent a lot of time at the gym, had her nails done, wore short skirts & even shoes where I could see she had a pedicure. I thought if she has all this time to spend making herself beautiful, she certainly can run up some receipts on the copier before I arrived. Also, I was feeling very down about my weight so I didn't like how attractive she was! Course I didn't tell her any of these reasons, just never went back.

The third one had her thesis in the waiting room. I started reading it & found several typos & spelling errors. I immediately judged her to be incompetent.--Suzy