The yucky stuff

My cbt therapist and I are still fairly new to each other but I think we have great rapport so far.

What I am wondering, for those with an opposite sex T, how do you know if T would be comfortable with an intimate topic? I am used to talking to male T's but I'm not sure if this guy is used to women speaking openly about sexuality, health, CSA, CA, etc. etc.

I know that T's need to be professional and be ready to talk about anything, but sometimes I wonder. CBT guy seemed taken aback by some topics recently (all facial expressions and body language--verbally he tried to stay cool )

Even my longtime T, back in my youth, seemed reflective and bemused that we were even discussing my "cycle"...he said "My daughter and I never even talk about this." not in a bad way. He was just reflecting on how he never had this conversation with anyone, patient or otherwise before.

So I worry --on Monday I have another phobia I haven't told cbt guy about, mainly because I'm not sure I want to work on it--but I may need to.

Any thoughts welcome.

ps my main abuser as a child was a female caretaker so I have almost always had male T's

I guess you could pre-warn them and say you need to talk about whatever the particular topic is...and ask how they feel about it, are they comfortable with it? I really would hope they would be...lord knows they should have training in all areas and be able to support you in these matters!

And I am so sorry you have to deal with processing your abuse as well...I think you MUST have a T who understands the need to talk about that in order to heal.

I see psychodynamic Ts so I assume they hear stuff like sex and health issues all the time...I have no problem just talking about sex, female issues, whatever, with my males Ts and not much filter when it comes to what I need to say. No one has seemed particularly surprised...but my newest T (I see 2) I have not "tested"out that much yet.

Anyway, hugs to you...I hope you are able to speak freely and be heard as needed!

Thanks so much lost key. I have a psychodynamic T too but since my job change we are on opposite coasts. We still talk by phone, but I felt like I needed more support so I found cbt guy here. It is a nice complement to my main therapy.

I have spent some time processing stuff with my main T but I want the new guy to be at least aware of it. Especially since his focus w/me is more on anxiety and health issues.

lol I don't have much of a filter and I think my candor startles cbt guy, but he is very very supportive and I feel very safe with him.

I appreciate your thoughts-I may preface what I say with a slight "warning" so he can prepare himself.

GrowlyCat,

Your CBT guy sounds very nice and supportive!

Since you have great rapport, he will probably be sensitive if you warn him that you need to talk about something intimate/ phobia / sex stuff, and you need his extra gentle empathy and listening.

He will probably be glad to get to know you better! The more the sees the big picture of your life, the more he can be helpful to you.

I have 2 T's and the need to talk about sex has never arouse. Not sure why we would talk about it. I had an abusive ex-husband an they never asked if sex was forced on me and I had 2 step fathers and I was never asked if I remember being touch inappropriately. I also do not feel any need at all to discuss theses subjects.