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  #826  
Old Sep 08, 2013, 10:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
Halifax Canada or Halifax England?
I didnt even know there WAS a Halifax England!

But you can ask me anything about British lawyering now - watching SILK. I thought one of the actresses looked familiar - she also played Anne Boleyn in The Tudors.
Thanks for this!
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  #827  
Old Sep 08, 2013, 10:07 PM
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Originally Posted by LolaCabanna View Post
Does anyone else have trouble getting dressed? I never know what to wear or how to dress for things. It is very anxiety provoking.
It's hard for me cuz I dont know who I am? It really is an expression of yourself.
  #828  
Old Sep 08, 2013, 11:04 PM
Anonymous37844
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Yay! Got a phone call today re pdoc appt for med review. Its on 14th Oct and I'm on a cancellation list as well.
  #829  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 01:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chopin99 View Post
She has loosened back up again on her boundaries and I think it's because I no longer demand things from her (or anyone else except my employees on occasion ). I can email; sometimes she even responds. She has started talking about herself more again. She scheduled 30 minutes of time for me after a session so I could ask her questions about becoming a therapist.
There's more than one way to look at this, and naturally I see things in the worst possible light and coloured by my own experiences.

I'm hearing that the more you needed the less she gave, and she only started giving again when you didn't need so much.

I'm hearing that therapists clam up under pressure and as for reconciliation, they wait for the patient to make the first move.

Can you please help me see this your way?
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  #830  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 02:05 AM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
She has loosened back up again on her boundaries and I think it's because I no longer demand things from her (or anyone else except my employees on occasion ). I can email; sometimes she even responds. She has started talking about herself more again. She scheduled 30 minutes of time for me after a session so I could ask her questions about becoming a therapist.
Oho! I talked about this with my wife. She says this (backing off and insisting on boundaries) is a standard technique that teachers use to handle problem children. In fact, she teaches teachers to use this technique.

"But what if I doesn't work?" I asked.

"It's never been known not to work," she said.

"Except it didn't work when Madame T did it to me."

"That could be because you are Aspergic."

But this confirms what I always suspected. Madame T withholds deliberately and she uses it as a way to control me, to punish me.
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  #831  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 03:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
"That could be because you are Aspergic."

But this confirms what I always suspected. Madame T withholds deliberately and she uses it as a way to control me, to punish me.
Or to - pardon the expression - retrain you in the way you want to go? I see 4 people in the room - the t as a real person, the t as a skilled person, the client as his parents' unhappy ideal, and the client as his own happy ideal. Most of the interaction in therapy is a swordfight between the inner 2 - t skilled and client unhappy - and the goal is to get to the outer pair. So my goal is to LOSE that dam swordfight!
Thanks for this!
CantExplain, critterlady
  #832  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 05:27 AM
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BonnieJean BonnieJean is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LolaCabanna View Post
Does anyone else have trouble getting dressed? I never know what to wear or how to dress for things. It is very anxiety provoking.
Me too! And it does produce anxiety.
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  #833  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 06:12 AM
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morning peeps. still cranky and feeling down but I am trying I went scrapbooking yesterday with some people who don't care if I don't talk .that was ok. tonight I get my kitty who still has no name because my husband and I cant agree. he is just not wanting any name I pick and is coming up with the stupidest names to be funny .it is just leaving me way more frustrated then I need to be and angry .it isn't funny I am not in that kind of place right now .but as usual he just wants me crapping rainbows
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  #834  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 06:47 AM
anonymous112713
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster View Post
It's hard for me cuz I dont know who I am? It really is an expression of yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonnieJean View Post
Me too! And it does produce anxiety.
Thanks Bonnie and Hank,

I think THAT is my issue too Hank. I know when I go to work what I am supposed to be like, as I see what the others do, so I know what to wear ... but outside of that, I have no idea. What should a 40 yr old woman dress like? I hate eating out with people and shopping and stuff on the weekends as I never can get dressed. Wife used to help me because I would mirror her. I love the winter because I wear jeans, tshirt and sweatshirt..done
  #835  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 06:49 AM
anonymous112713
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Sorry you are starting off on a bad foot this morning Granite, I hope the new Kitty cheers you up. LOL@ crapping rainbows
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Thanks for this!
granite1
  #836  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 06:55 AM
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mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
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Mornin, couch peeps!

Granite - I'm glad you took action by going scrapbooking even when you were feeling cranky and down. Go you! I'm excited to see pix of your kitty. I am sure that dealing with the name situation with H is frustrating. Hopefully, once you see your kitty, you'll be able to focus on enjoying the cuteness overload and not push yourself to decide on a name right away.

CE - Your post struck me. We've come across a situation in group T lately where one member was perceived as overbearing with his needs which resulted in people pulling away from him. It seemed like a natural reaction to want to create distance because his need was too much for some to bear. It felt as if he was trying to take something that people just weren't willing or able to give. We're still trying to work through it, so I'm not sure what the outcome will be.

These migraines are really bringing me down lately. This is what happens when I don't get my botox treatment on time. I was due for a treatment in July but with the appt. screw-up, it got pushed to September. Thankfully, the appt. is tomorrow so I'm eager....and worried that he might not have any botox on hand. Since my insurance doesn't cover it, he has been so kind in giving me what he has in stock, if he has it. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I hate that I have to depend on the botox to feel somewhat well, because it's such a costly treatment that I can't afford. But without it, I become barely functional.

I haven't heard back yet from the behavioral health center where I sent in my resume last Wednesday. I'm getting nervous, cuz it's the closest opportunity I've had for a full time job in the last couple years.

Hope everyone has a great day!
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  #837  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 06:55 AM
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granite1 granite1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LolaCabanna View Post
Sorry you are starting off on a bad foot this morning Granite, I hope the new Kitty cheers you up. LOL@ crapping rainbows
hey girl how have things been going with the new job and the traveling? other then the endless decisions of what to wear
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  #838  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 07:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions View Post
Mornin, couch peeps!

Granite - I'm glad you took action by going scrapbooking even when you were feeling cranky and down. Go you! I'm excited to see pix of your kitty. I am sure that dealing with the name situation with H is frustrating. Hopefully, once you see your kitty, you'll be able to focus on enjoying the cuteness overload and not push yourself to decide on a name right away.

CE - Your post struck me. We've come across a situation in group T lately where one member was perceived as overbearing with his needs which resulted in people pulling away from him. It seemed like a natural reaction to want to create distance because his need was too much for some to bear. It felt as if he was trying to take something that people just weren't willing or able to give. We're still trying to work through it, so I'm not sure what the outcome will be.

These migraines are really bringing me down lately. This is what happens when I don't get my botox treatment on time. I was due for a treatment in July but with the appt. screw-up, it got pushed to September. Thankfully, the appt. is tomorrow so I'm eager....and worried that he might not have any botox on hand. Since my insurance doesn't cover it, he has been so kind in giving me what he has in stock, if he has it. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I hate that I have to depend on the botox to feel somewhat well, because it's such a costly treatment that I can't afford. But without it, I become barely functional.

I haven't heard back yet from the behavioral health center where I sent in my resume last Wednesday. I'm getting nervous, cuz it's the closest opportunity I've had for a full time job in the last couple years.

Hope everyone has a great day!
I hope you hear back soon mue. sometimes these things can take time .keeping my fingers crossed.
I am trying to keep my chin up as far as my husband goes and hug all over the kitty tonight. I know he is just trying to help. I know I would not want to be him dealing with me sometimes .just wish he would just accept my mood sometimes
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Thanks for this!
mixedup_emotions
  #839  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 07:06 AM
anonymous112713
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Today begins the meetings to compile our data and this weekend I had to facilitate dinners and activities for the participants and it wont end til Wednesday. My travel stars 2 weeks from today, I am taking things one day at a time... the what to wear thing came up over having to entertain these people after hours. They are all women around my age or older and I can't wear my mens cargo shorts, t shirts and ball caps as they all dress age appropriate, so I am trying to limit our activities to directly after work so i don't have to change clothes. Other then that... I'm just going to push through til Novemeber.
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  #840  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 07:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LolaCabanna View Post
Today begins the meetings to compile our data and this weekend I had to facilitate dinners and activities for the participants and it wont end til Wednesday. My travel stars 2 weeks from today, I am taking things one day at a time... the what to wear thing came up over having to entertain these people after hours. They are all women around my age or older and I can't wear my mens cargo shorts, t shirts and ball caps as they all dress age appropriate, so I am trying to limit our activities to directly after work so i don't have to change clothes. Other then that... I'm just going to push through til Novemeber.
so you have to play activities director also??
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  #841  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 07:08 AM
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mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1 View Post
just wish he would just accept my mood sometimes
Yep. That's exactly it. Sometimes we just need some space and acceptance.
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  #842  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 07:09 AM
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mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
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Wow, Lola, you sure have a full plate! (( HUGS ))
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  #843  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 07:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions View Post
Yep. That's exactly it. Sometimes we just need some space and acceptance.
you want to know one of the stupid things I cried and freaked over ..

he made the best pancakes ever for breakfast yesterday .I wanted some turkey sausage also.so as he was making these pancakes I heated up some sausage and ate it .he said so you don't want the pancakes said yes I want both. he then said but you never eat it all. I was cranky and said don't worry about it ill be fine .so he makes me 2 pancakes.(they are huge) and I couldn't eat all of it .I was stuffing it down because I didn't want him being mad .I was getting really upset over it .it made me cry .OMG it was just pancakes who cares . this is the space im in .crying over pancakes
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Rx, no medication for that
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  #844  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 07:29 AM
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((( Granite )))

You know that the issue had little to do with pancakes. I hope you can get some relief soon from the emotional upheaval that you've been going through.
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Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
Thanks for this!
granite1
  #845  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 07:30 AM
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mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
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Alright, peeps, I gotta hop in the shower and get ready to go to my assignment. Lord help me, I'm feeling so awful with this migraine this morning. The good thing is that the class is only 1-1/2 hours long. Thankfully.
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Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
  #846  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 08:42 AM
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Squirrel1983 Squirrel1983 is offline
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Morning couch.

I slept in today and it felt good. Screw the bus training 25 miles away...it already started and I refuse to drive that far for something I am not paid for and on a day "off".

Sent T an email yesterday while I was at K's. I admitted some things I am struggling with that I haven't been completely honest with her about in the past. Sent another one when I got home asking if she was available to morning of the day of my pdoc appointment instead of my original appointment with her scheduled for 2 days before that. That way I only need to find a bus replacement for 1 day that week rather than 2.

She responded this morning. Very brief (she apologized for this as and said she would write more but Mondays were busy) but she thanked me for "taking a leap of faith" and "letting her know what was going on". She also said she would make a point of coming in the day of my pdoc appointment (when she is normally off that day of the week) so I would only need to find coverage for one day. I'm glad she is willing to rearrange her "personal life" for me and come in when she doesn't have to. That feels so good.

She normally gives suggestions in response emails to me, but I guess as she was just checking her email before going into the office this morning, she didn't have time to do so. Understandable. She did tell me not to get anxious over my concerns (I voiced some I had over telling anyone (including pdoc) but her about this) and that we would talk about it next week.

Week and a half until my T appointment and pdoc appointment. Hopefully they will go well.
Hugs from:
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  #847  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
But this confirms what I always suspected. Madame T withholds deliberately and she uses it as a way to control me, to punish me.
Or possibly a way to avoid rewarding negative behavior/demands.
  #848  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 10:30 AM
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Originally Posted by pbutton View Post
Or possibly a way to avoid rewarding negative behavior/demands.
That is still a way to control.
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Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #849  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 10:51 AM
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
That is still a way to control.
I was more focused on the 'punish' aspect of it. Disagreement isn't necessarily punishment.
  #850  
Old Sep 09, 2013, 10:59 AM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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yes, my focus would be on control.
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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