[Butterflying]

I didnt order my lithium in time so it's been a week and I guess why not stay off it. I haven't texted my t in two weeks. He doesn't think it's good for me. Now I feel bad so I textd him saying "I feel too depressed to come in tomorrow" and "I might call in if I don't feel well enough"

He said:

"OK"

That's it. Just ok. Maybe he just doesn't care about me anymore. I've list my mom and now him. I'm alone in my sadness. I didnt work today. I just slept. It's hard to feel so alone. I don't want to go thru the holidays. It all sucks. Same thing every year. Just our little family. No extended family. I've been very attached to my T. Now I worry he might be hoping I quit.

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by Butterflying

I didnt order my lithium in time so it's been a week and I guess why not stay off it. I haven't texted my t in two weeks. He doesn't think it's good for me. Now I feel bad so I textd him saying "I feel too depressed to come in tomorrow" and "I might call in if I don't feel well enough"

He said:

"OK"

That's it. Just ok. Maybe he just doesn't care about me anymore. I've list my mom and now him. I'm alone in my sadness. I didnt work today. I just slept. It's hard to feel so alone. I don't want to go thru the holidays. It all sucks. Same thing every year. Just our little family. No extended family. I've been very attached to my T. Now I worry he might be hoping I quit.

I just want to tell you that you're not alone. I completely understand where you are coming from. I just had this same experience with my T literally two days ago. It hurts. It really hurts.

Try to view it from a different perspective though. Maybe he was in the middle of something and just quickly texted you "okay". Maybe he was in a rush or something else. It doesn't mean he doesn't care.

That's what I'm telling myself.

[Melody_Bells]

Texting can lead to misunderstandings! I can see how "OK" doesn't feel warm and caring. Maybe if you're able to call him or something, it would be easier to communicate. I hope things get better for you!

I wish he'd said, "Okay, but come anyway. It's important that we meet."
I'm not saying that you'd still go; you might have simply sent another text, "No, I'll see you next week" or whatever. BUT at least he would have let you know that he still wanted you to come, NO MATTER WHAT!
That said, it doesn't mean that he's given up, he just answered the wrong way. Maybe he was rushed. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he was overwhelmed . . . maybe anything. We always wish our therapists were perfect all the time, but they aren't, they are human. Go for your next appointment and let him know why his comment let you down. If he's worth his salt as a therapist, he'll agree that was a lame-o response and ask what might have been better!

[learning1]

It sounds like you're having a really hard time if you missed work. Does going off lithium leave you a lot more depressed? It sounds like your depression is talking and leading you to feel your therapist doesn't care. Just because he only texted Okay doesn't mean he doesn't care anymore. Sure, it would be nice if he wrote more, but it doesn't mean he doesn't care, he just wasn't careful enough with his reply to this one text. It sounds like it would be really good if you can go to therapy.

[growlycat]

He may have read the text too quickly and just registered the part about "might call in if I don't feel well enough"---which if read too fasst makes it sound like you have a cold. No one would argue that you should still come in with a physical ailment.

It is worth asking him what it meant. That it hurt that he didn't urge you to come in, to welcome you.

[Favorite Jeans]

Hey that's really concerning. Not so much what your T texted as your frame of mind. It sounds like you really need your meds, lithium isn't usually an optional drug. Go and see your T tomorrow. Whatever you're feeling, just go. I get that you want him to make a big fuss and show his concern. I do. But most T's can't do that by text. And at the end of the day, your wellness is up to you. I agree it sounds like your depression talking. It's time to activate your support system and get help wherever you can.

[ultramar]

Originally Posted by Butterflying

I didnt order my lithium in time so it's been a week and I guess why not stay off it. I haven't texted my t in two weeks. He doesn't think it's good for me. Now I feel bad so I textd him saying "I feel too depressed to come in tomorrow" and "I might call in if I don't feel well enough"

He said:

"OK"

That's it. Just ok. Maybe he just doesn't care about me anymore. I've list my mom and now him. I'm alone in my sadness. I didnt work today. I just slept. It's hard to feel so alone. I don't want to go thru the holidays. It all sucks. Same thing every year. Just our little family. No extended family. I've been very attached to my T. Now I worry he might be hoping I quit.

You've posted a few times starting several months ago that your therapist doesn't think texting is good for you, and then he seemed to become increasing insistent about it until he finally 'banned' it. So it's possible that this is a 'tough love' sort of situation in which he is trying to discourage it. It is possible, that if he had responded more how you would have liked, the texting would have continued on your end? It sucks, but I think he's seen how texting can make you spiral, and he is ultimately trying to protect you from that.

I've noticed how sensitive to his perceived rejection or lack of caring, as many of us are, you can be, and I suspect this has more to do with your reaction than your medication per se. But you are clearly still very depressed and I hope you're able to feel better after talking to him about this. If you can share with him how abandoned you feel about the lack of out of session contact -if you haven't already- maybe you can get to the root of this, and begin -baby steps- to feel, deeply and lastingly, that he cares about you, despite issues with texting contact. I hope things start to look up for you soon, Butterflying!

[learning1]

How are you Butterflying?