New T Appt Today

I had my first official appointment with my new T today. It is weird because my old T (although it doesn't feel right calling her "old T" since I still feel so connected to her and plan on coming back to her) works right across the hall from where I am having my DBT. I am always scared of seeing old T, because that would be really weird.
Anyways, my appointment was fairly short and people kept knocking at her door when I was having my appointment; I guess that's what happens when you are in a research study and aren't shelling out the big bucks for private practice. She seems really nice; I am hoping I don't get attached to her the way I did to old T. My old T was a lot older and a lot more maternal, ie grey hair, glasses, and turtlenecks. This T is a lot younger, I bet she is the same age as some of my friends who are a little older than me. So I am hoping there will be no looming attachment issues.
Anyways, this therapy seems a lot more focused on skills building and just that, which I think I need. I think it was also something I couldn't get from my old T because our relationship had become really conversational in a way and I really just wanted to talk to her about my week instead of doing skills. Plus it is a part of a research study and so I know my T's goals will be on helping me learn skills.
Right after I left I felt really hopeful, but then I got so, so angry. Not at the new T, but because I had been telling her about my old job and the circumstances that precipitated my complete nervous breakdown. She was really sympathetic and when I was telling her some things about my old job, her face was kind of like "WTF." So in a way she validated me, but it made me feel worse, because it validated my anger and reinforced the feeling that what had happened to me was unfair. Then my anger gave way to depression and suicidal thoughts.
I am also a little nervous that DBT will be so helpful that I won't want to go back to old T, b/c she doesn't have that type of training. I am also wondering, "OK, what if I don't get super attached to this T and have these intense emotions towards her and what if that is a relief?" What if I don't want to go back to old T because I am scared of that intense attachment I have towards her? Even though I miss her badly, it does feel like a little bit of a vacation from these intense feelings towards old T. I guess we'll see what happens.

Just - you sound GREAT!!!

that would be weird ... and i can understand the mix of emotions and questions coming up for you there

it does sound like the new T will be helpful for you for now ... whatever happens with old T in the future

were you able to let your new T know that while being validated her comments also stirred up a lot more anger?

Sounds like a lot to process for you...
I've done DBT and my current therapist is more psychodynamic and not as familiar with the skills. I actually find my DBT skills quite helpful when doing other kinds of processing (of past stuff), and working on attachment stuff, so I'd say even if your old T doesn't know DBT, it doesn't mean you won't work well with her if you go back.

DBT (like cbt) is good in the sense that it seeks to reduce distress ASAP....as much as the attachment in psychodynamic T is nice, it kind of drags out the imeadiate relief you could have. Love hearing what dbt is like!

Thanks for the responses guys! I was surprised to hear people responded, since I feel like my threads are usually pretty boring.

Tigergirl, I will tell new T I got angry next week, since I have to fill out those diary cards, and I wrote that I felt angry yesterday and I will have to say why. And purplejell, thank you for telling me that you are still able to work well with a psychodynamic T and use the skills even though she isn't trained in DBT.

I called my old T today just to hear her voicemail. I know that sounds pathetic, but I miss her a lot, even though I do think it will be good for me to do this.

I also drank a bottle of prosecco today and just woke up. I am actually not doing that great. I am still looking for a job; have had some interviews but no offers yet and didn't send out any applications today. I have to go to my stats class in an hour also and I am really hungover . Speaking of drinking, my new T didn't seem as concerned about my drinking as my old T. She actually told me she didn't think I drank more than other people my age, and I told her that on Monday night I had had the equivalent of 7 drinks and 3 Vicodin, but it wasn't typical for me to do that, which is kind of true. I am still kind of surprised she didn't freak out more, which my old T used to do. But today I felt so depressed and alone and bought the bottle of prosecco and drank all of it. Well, I guess that's all. Thanks for listening guys.