[nummy]

Meh. I don't want to go to work, but I must. Did two loads of laundry and cleaned my kitchen, so at least I have a little satisfaction.

Edit: I need a hug.. I don't know why, I just do.

[RTerroni]

Sort of in the middle since I am not sure when the practice will call me back to set me up with a new Therapist.

[healingme4me]

It's ironic. Two issues, that I wanted resolved, yet never really discuss in therapy, as it's the other issues addressed that mask those two, are unravelling and internal resolution is occurring. Finding solace is half the battle. So that I may move forward with strength and confidence.
Moving to 'home base', is helping me resolve. I needed to go back home, so to speak. Embrace my past, review my present, and embark on my future.
Therapy, was necessary.

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

[DelusionsDaily]

Struggling with depression. It's really the lack of energy more than anything that is getting to me. On a 0-10 scale...0 being no depression and 10 being absolutely horrible...I'd say it's an 8 or so. Not near crisis yet and hoping to avidly avoid it if possible. Ugh! Just go away depression!

[Freewilled]

So low......so tired....exhausted, really. So scared about what I shared with my T today. I'm so freaked out I emailed him to try to clarify things straight away when I got home (which is SO not like me). I'm so worried my T is going to change the way he thinks or feels about me. I'm so afraid he will see me as a lost cause. Or that he will pity me. One of the two. And after pity will come lost cause so it gets there eventually. I really like my T - I mean, I love him as a person. Just for who he is in the therapy room. I'm afraid he sees me as a loser

[growlycat]

Frustrated with myself this week--no therapy!!

I called in sick with CBT T , and he called and was kind and understanding.

Main T--he missed my phone session due to a weather related problem. We rescheduled for the next early am but I accidentally slept through when I was supposed to call. When I called and apologized, he sounded pissy. He had also emailed me one line "what happened?"

Phone therapy 5 am my time is horrid. I find it hard to get 2 neurons to fire together at that hour, wish he would cut me some slack!!!

[guilloche]

Nervous and anxious. Nervous about my first post here, nervous about possibly returning to therapy after several years, nervous about the therapist I talked to today (and wondering if I made mistake). Stressy and frazzled. Nervous that if I don't go to therapy, my life will never be better, and if I do go, I'll become a crazy mess like last time I tried therapy. zowwy unhappy anxious brain!

[Ford Puma]

Feeling OK. Cant complain much. Looking forward to been 38 next month... kind off

[InRealLife45]

I am feeling uncertain...but hopeful.

[RTerroni]

Still indescribable, still having a few issues with a friend of mine.

[Polibeth]

I didn't sleep well last night but managed to accomplish "enough" this morning

I just sent another message to close my account. It's done in batches. I just wonder if I forgot to hit the send button — a possible Freudian slip.

At a weekend college orientation for kiddo, two hundred dollars for what I could have got off line. But, a good bonding experience for kiddo. He's embarrassed to be a merit scholar. It just doesn't go with the new image he was hoping to create for himself. He he.

[CameraObscura]

Lost, scared, scattered, and all over the place. I've been working with accessing a lot of dissociated feelings, and I'm finding them. T says I need to find a gentle way to express them. I'm completely flummoxed.

[SoupDragon]

I have the most pervasive images in my head and right now I don't know how I am going to get myself to see T next week. I want to keep everyone at arms length.

Fifteen minutes before another lecture. I've avoided the first two. I sure hope I don't become a helicopter parent again...feel free to shoot me if you suspect I'm getting to that point. Kiddo, you can just talk to me and I will surrender, but actually I have enough therapy under my belt to let you fly solo.

[RTerroni]

Tired, don't think I got enough sleep last night.

I'm doing pretty well. We got out of the house today and did some running around which was good for a change. We're a bit housebound during the day with only one car.

Whole family is starting on a healthy eating plan tomorrow. Should be interesting. My husband and I were just going to do it together as we both need to lose some weight, but the boys said they'd join us too. The elder doesn't need to lose weight, but the healthy eating will be good for him (he'll probably gain weight) and the younger could stand to lose a little bit. It will be interesting to see if they stick with it. Should be an interesting family adventure.

Orientation is over. I do believe my kiddo has learned that it's okay for cool kids to be knowledgeable.

Kiddo had first individual session with her, and we decided she will have the discussion on what he can afford to pay her, barter with her, etc, as soon as he turns legal in a few weeks and he gets to sign the paper work. I'm just afraid he will offer up my first grandchild when he decides to have a family, or he may offer me up when I'm old and feeble and can no longer do Chipotle or Ben and Jerry's runs for him. He told me he thinks she is worth $180/hour, yet I envision offering her .50 cents on the hour! because we both decided it will come from his funds or gratis to me.

I asked my ex therapist if she wants to see a cheap movie tomorrow. She said she would, but already had plans for tomorrow, but asked about next week. I said I would like to, but would she be willing to pick up a hitchhiker on the side of the road ( I won't have my car next Sunday). She said she could manage that. I don't know what well see, but I look forward to spending time with her. I already saw a movie this week with friends and am going to see two movies tonight with other friends. I've seen more movies this year with friends than I've seen in the last five years. I'm glad therapy taught me how to be with friends so I can go out and have fun with them, even if it's just a movie and tea. Before, I use to spend all my time believing they didn't really like me, and would always cancel or leave early. The other day I had a four hour lunch with another friend. I'm happy I've made so much progress. I think I'm going to like this coming week, and have fun.

[freefallin]

Hopeless and anxious. In about 5 weeks after my lease is up here, I will have to move back in with my dad because I don't have the money to keep living on my own. I tried for months to find a job, but I'm too useless and stupid, and no one wants to hire me. I don't want to live with my sister again. She is abusive and unsanitary, and I'm afraid she's going to kill me someday because of how violent she is. Every time I think about moving back there, I start feeling like I'm about to have a heart attack. I started Googling therapists in the area, but then I stopped because the reality is therapy is useless. Therapy won't make my sister go away or give me job skills so that employers will hire me so I'll be able to support myself. Plus, I don't have money for it. I just want a job...

Kinda blissful, actually!! Spent the day with my drumming circle friends out in nature and it was such a beautiful, spiritual day. I am so very very grateful to therapy for helping me get to this point of being able to make friends like these who SO get me! Also, found out yesterday at work that I might get the opportunity to travel to another state and help train a new center. SO excited about that. I really want to do it!!! I don't know how they're going to choose who gets to go. I know only that I'm in the running.

[freefallin]

I went into a stupid free online counseling chat thing after laying in bed crying for like four hours, and that just made me feel worse. The "listener" told me to get a job flipping burgers. Yes, telling someone who went through college that the only thing she's good for is flipping burgers for $7 an hour is helpful. Not to mention the fact that $7 an hour will not allow me to get my own apartment, let alone pay for the medical care I have needed for months. I hate my life and myself.

[suzzie]

not good

[monkeybrains21]

Really upset having to get back to all my problems and stress and worries. Good bye free vacation.

[freefallin]

Laying in bed crying like an idiot thinking about the only guy who ever referred to me as beautiful. He made me feel wanted...then he left. He wasn't a good fit anyway, but at least he gave me the time of day. I wish he would reemerge from wherever he disappeared to so I can yell at him for doing that. He knew I was having a really hard time in life. He knew I needed a friend. It wouldn't have killed him to say bye. I hope someone can like me once I get my teeth straightened, if that ever happens. 25 years single is too long. Tired of being the only one of my friends without a significant other. People say you shouldn't need someone blah blah, but that's BS. It's undeniable that life is easier on my friends who have someone around to share the bills with, someone to go on trips with, someone to run to when upset, etc. Tired of not having that and knowing that it's because I'm not good enough to have that. Blah. It's almost 5 a.m.

[DelusionsDaily]

Scared...had severe upper right abdominal pain Sunday early early morning. Went to ER found nothing. Meet to follow up with PCP. He's doing bloodwork for celiac's disease and some test for gallbladder again. If both come back negative he wants me to go for surgery consult for gallbladder...possible sub-acute attack so nothing's showing yet.

Although it would be nice to have answers for that pain, fatigue, diarrhea and dairy intolerance.

Lacking the energy to do much of anything but sleep right now which isn't good for me.

See t Friday not sure I even have the energy for that.