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#902
Jun 04, 2014, 06:07 PM
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I just got word that I'm being laid off in August.
I'm in a state of shock  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
 Aloneandafraid, Freewilled, growlycat, Honeydew1, unaluna
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#903
Jun 04, 2014, 09:20 PM
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I have a gaping hole in my heart that no one can ever fill...... An endless pit of neediness....
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| Aloneandafraid, Freewilled, growlycat, Honeydew1, unaluna
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#904
Jun 04, 2014, 10:16 PM
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I would say fairly depressed right now with my last Therapist now gone, I just hope that things can be just as good with my next Therapist.
__________________
COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022 |
| Aloneandafraid, Freewilled
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#905
Jun 04, 2014, 11:24 PM
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Completely out of control. My life has become unmanageable. I can't manage. One day I am feeling fine - the next I'm crashing. One hour I think I have some answers - the next hour I've lost it all. Man - I need a break from life for awhile. I wish I could go to sleep for a few weeks
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| Aloneandafraid, Honeydew1
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 Aloneandafraid
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#906
Jun 05, 2014, 05:47 AM
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Quote:
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#907
Jun 05, 2014, 06:06 AM
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Quote:
 I'm feeling good, finally. I thought I'd never go up. I was down for 26 days, longest I've been down. So, now I can get organized, accomplish things on my list. Though, going to try and see my psycharagist about my meds. I'm on Geodon 40mg, Lamictal 100 mg, and Cogenton 2mg for side affects. |
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#908
Jun 05, 2014, 08:06 AM
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I'm feeling really quite well. School is just about finished and I'm looking forward to my summer. I haven't needed to see my T in almost two months which is really nice. I love these times of stability. Of course, I always wonder how long they'll last, but it is nice while it lasts.
My son graduates Monday afternoon. This is the son who had to be hospitalized last year, and at that time I was just praying to get him through the year alive and through high school with a diploma. Check. Check. He's actually had a beautiful year and is so much a different kid. He sat down and worked on college applications, etc. the other day. A little on the late side, but still . . .he did it all on his own without my prodding. He's come a long way. My husband's family is harassing him right now. He broke off relations with them some years back as every encounter with them is emotionally abusive. Well, his mother is apparently in very poor health right now and they are harassing my husband for not being "good" family. Such hypocrites. I'm proud of him though. He's stood his ground with them. Thanked them for the information of his mother but asked them not to contact him further. It is SO hard for him, but so far he's not allowing them to suck him into their hell. |
| Aloneandafraid
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#909
Jun 05, 2014, 01:17 PM
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I am feeling hopeless. Everywhere I turn there's more work to do & I can't catch a break. Whether it's inside or outside it just piles up & causes such anxiety that all I do is spin my tires & freeze. Poor H sees that I don't do anything besides take care of the kids. Wonder what this family would b like w/ a normal wife/mom.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
| Aloneandafraid, Honeydew1
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#910
Jun 05, 2014, 01:24 PM
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I am in a place so dark I don't think I will ever escape. The depression has never been this bad....I don't have the strength to break free. I need help.
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| Aloneandafraid, Honeydew1
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#912
Jun 05, 2014, 06:22 PM
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I'm feeling really good except tired. When I'm up I can't sleep. Gonna meet with my psychiatrist next Friday (she's out till Monday) was the first available. In the mean time Tylnol pm is all that works for sleeping. Lavender oil worked a couple of times. Melatonin didn't keep me sleeping. Warm bath helps, but not at 2am. Ha!
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#913
Jun 05, 2014, 08:49 PM
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Quote:
Yes, SI thoughts come and go, but I keep in mind, I wouldn't want to do that to my husband, my sons, my Mom. Life is precious! I need to plow through, though it's really hard when I'm down.
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#914
Jun 06, 2014, 04:55 AM
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Quote:
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#915
Jun 06, 2014, 06:10 AM
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So nervous and worried.
__________________
<3Ally
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#917
Jun 07, 2014, 10:29 AM
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Content.
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#918
Jun 07, 2014, 10:36 AM
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Frustrated. And I am grading papers from a summer school class I teach. Which is also frustrating because my honest feedback (this just sucks) must be tempered with useful info (this just sucks so try doing x,y,z like I told you to do before the assignment was due).
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
| tametc
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#919
Jun 07, 2014, 11:01 AM
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SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER!!!
   I got home about 7:30 last night and was completely exhausted, but I'm finally up and moving this morning. I'm looking forward to my parents and sister coming in tomorrow for my son's graduation on Monday. Mom turned 80 this week; Dad is 83; and they are both still in amazingly good health. We are SO blessed. My husband's brother is still being a jerk and harassing him at work, so the hotel manager got on the phone and told his brother to cease and desist or they would call the authorities. They hung up; he called back; sheriff was called. Husband came home early yesterday just in case he called again. We expect we'll start getting phone calls at home any time now, but so far none. My husband says his brother hasn't called the house yet because he's probably afraid of me. He can screw with my husband's head, but he knows I'm not so easily intimidated by their cruelty. Hoping he doesn't call. Otherwise, I suspect we're due for a new phone number. |
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#920
Jun 07, 2014, 07:45 PM
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Tired, didn't sleep much. I'm up. Trying to make it to 10:00 tonight. My hubby is playing music tonight. I can do it! Love being up, confident, creative, cleaning, etc... But my body gets tired especially coming from my down days, sleeping all day etc...
Hope everyone is doing ok. |
| Aloneandafraid, tametc
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#921
Jun 10, 2014, 06:06 PM
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Thinking about my mom, right now. Ever possible, she could have gotten her diagnosis, looked around her, said to herself. ..no. just no. Her husband as her caregiver, um, no. Coincides with dream i had of her, rolling her eyes to me, of him. And no. Not doing this to my loved ones. I can see her, being like that. It did take her a while to disclose. Then i hit severe denial. Then, wham, bam...i'm outta here. She let go, let g-d. Knew she'd miss us. Knew she didn't fight it, either.
Was driving back thru city, today, and remembered a shared experience. A certain group of individuals made her day, her first bald day. She felt like a queen for a moment. She smiled, we giggled and laughed and she overcame that discomfort, that whole ride, down that stretch thru the city, all because of a highway backup. Little things in life, that matter. Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk |
| Aloneandafraid
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#922
Jun 10, 2014, 06:43 PM
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Confused. T opened up today. I was so in shock I could barely think straight. Why today? He rarely gives an inch and today he gave a foot. It was a great session, but not sure if I want to know. The more I know, the stronger the attachment.
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| Aloneandafraid
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| Aloneandafraid
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#923
Jun 11, 2014, 02:42 AM
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calm & good. I thought that after yesterday's session I'd feel much worse but somehow it is okay - hope that it will stay like that till next session but the visit of my parents-in-law might be challenging...
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| Aloneandafraid
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| Aloneandafraid
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#924
Jun 11, 2014, 05:22 AM
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Defeated, overwhelmed, and trying to stay alive. I hope these medication changes will help, but I'm not going to hold my breath just yet.
__________________
<3Ally
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| Aloneandafraid, Anonymous200320
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#925
Jun 13, 2014, 05:38 AM
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Good
 I've missed this feeling... I'm calm, okay and life is not so bad... Not perfect, my parents-in-law are still coming and my family still sometimes overwhelm me but it's okay. I feel like I can manage, of course it doesn't mean that I won't to stop t right now, but I'm quite optimistic when it comes to the future - I hope this feeling will stay with me for at least next 60 years
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| Aloneandafraid, Anonymous35535
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| Aloneandafraid
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| Closed Thread |
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