[Wren_]

something triggered me badly the other day and kicked off a multiple chain of reactions
I wanted to tell my T about some of the reactions but couldn't because the internal rules and fears were too strong to break through
I tried to talk about some of the rules stopping me instead but the weight of the reactions was to strong and I was getting more and more overwhelmed
T said something that usually would have been fine but instead I had a major over reaction to and ended up having a major melt down
which seems to be continuing now
maybe it was going to happen anyway and didn't really need much of a new trigger
I just feel so alone with everything right now and frustrated with my reactions and the rules which are stopping me sharing things I need help with

Originally Posted by tigergirl

something triggered me badly the other day and kicked off a multiple chain of reactions
I wanted to tell my T about some of the reactions but couldn't because the internal rules and fears were too strong to break through
I tried to talk about some of the rules stopping me instead but the weight of the reactions was to strong and I was getting more and more overwhelmed
T said something that usually would have been fine but instead I had a major over reaction to and ended up having a major melt down
which seems to be continuing now
maybe it was going to happen anyway and didn't really need much of a new trigger
I just feel so alone with everything right now and frustrated with my reactions and the rules which are stopping me sharing things I need help with

Hey Tigergirl
Awhh, I hate it when we are triggered or have a reaction to something that usually would not affect us. It's like when we are at our most vulnerable out sense of worth drops and our defences go up! Every little thing cuts like a knife and we want help but won't allow anyone in.
You are not alone though, we are here and your t is there...I know you might not want to let him in just now but next time could be different.
I think it shows great growth that recognised this thing that triggered you and affected you so badly. You were aware of your reactions and the chain of events afterwards- so now you can work on how to change that reaction for next time.
You might not feel so good now but this is a positive thing
I hope you can be kind to yourself and not punish yourself today.

[gayleggg]

Could you journal about your issues and maybe then you could share them with your therapist? Journaling can be very good for getting things out and in black and white. It sometimes makes things less overwhelming.

[rainbow8]

tigergirl: I'm sorry you had a bad, triggering experience in therapy and are feeling alone and frustrated. I hate those feelings too!! Please don't be hard on yourself. Whatever internal rules you have are there to protect you. Maybe your T and you can work on accepting the need for that protection and then work on going past it so that he can help you with the issues you need help with.

Can you write down or draw your feelings instead of talking about them? You're NOT alone.

[Wren_]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Hey Tigergirl
Awhh, I hate it when we are triggered or have a reaction to something that usually would not affect us. It's like when we are at our most vulnerable out sense of worth drops and our defences go up! Every little thing cuts like a knife and we want help but won't allow anyone in.
You are not alone though, we are here and your t is there...I know you might not want to let him in just now but next time could be different.
I think it shows great growth that recognised this thing that triggered you and affected you so badly. You were aware of your reactions and the chain of events afterwards- so now you can work on how to change that reaction for next time.
You might not feel so good now but this is a positive thing
I hope you can be kind to yourself and not punish yourself today.

thanks mona i feel so super fragile at the moment, it's so frustrating the tiniest thing sends me over the edge

Originally Posted by gayleggg

Could you journal about your issues and maybe then you could share them with your therapist? Journaling can be very good for getting things out and in black and white. It sometimes makes things less overwhelming.

thanks gayle ... i was thinking about journalling but also feel scared of it at the same time

Originally Posted by rainbow8

tigergirl: I'm sorry you had a bad, triggering experience in therapy and are feeling alone and frustrated. I hate those feelings too!! Please don't be hard on yourself. Whatever internal rules you have are there to protect you. Maybe your T and you can work on accepting the need for that protection and then work on going past it so that he can help you with the issues you need help with.

Can you write down or draw your feelings instead of talking about them? You're NOT alone.

thanks rain it's feeling very alone out here still ... alone and unsafe

i like what you said about accepting the need for protection

[growlycat]

Can you talk about it here? Only if you want to of course.

[rainbow8]

In IFS, you're supposed to accept all of your parts. My T told me that the "protectors" are around for good reasons. They're just doing their job to protect you from getting hurt. I think there's a way to talk to the part without upsetting the protectors but I don't remember how it's done. When I told my T the judges were preventing me from talking about how the teen part felt, she asked me if I could "put the judges down for a minute on the couch next to me." That's a freeing and compassionate way of dealing with them. I don't know if it works in therapy other than IFS, but you can try. But the most important thing is not to judge the judges or the protectors! I hope this makes a little sense.