COME GET YOUR KiICKS ON COUCH 66!

I think it's the idea of actually interacting with one another where everyone gets a turn that lacks appeal for some members of my family, rather than the games themselves.

Thanks Mast... its interesting to hear of games that I'm not familiar with... I'm going to have to google these...

Good to see you here...been missing your posts..

Thanks, RTS.

If you want to find out about new board games, the best place to look is boardgamegeek.com It's like Wikipedia for board games.

Mast... I'm sorry that we (myself included) do not do a very good job of acknowledging that other people are not experiencing the same Holidays as other people. Personally, I'm just coming to terms with saying Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening for time zone differences. But just because I don't realize the impact that I have doesn't mean you can't point it out. I appreciate that you did it now.

Myself, I love learning about other people's cultures so I really enjoy it when you share some of the differences of our cultures. The US is so big that there are even cultural differences between Texas and Boston...as an example...

I apologize if I should know this but why do you struggle with feeling like an outsider? Is it more of a concrete things, like you were born or raised in a different country type of thing? or more of a feeling type of thing that you just have? (Hope that question makes sense to you because I sometimes struggle with wording things the right way)

Mast do you want me to delete the post I quoted ?

Now I feel silly for removing my post. Thank you for the gracious reply. I fear I came across as really grumpy, and I really don't mean that. I appreciate all the people here, so much. Don't delete your post - thanks for asking, though!

And to respond to your question.... I think I understand what you mean, and it's not really about concrete things, more a general feeling of being fundamentally different. I've come to realise how much I have been feeling like that all my life, and more frighteningly, that it's not really necessary for me to do that. Weirdly enough, the first person to point it out to me was not even a Swede.

Thought ut's concrete things, too, like how pretty much everything that's culturally associated with being a woman are things I just don't understand or know about or am interested in. Shopping, and having children, and beauty, and clothing. I know I'm not alone in not being into those things, as a woman, so I'm not sure why I feel so singled out by it. It's not just about the gender; at work I try really hard to be normal university teacher person, and do small talk and fit in, and it just exhausts me. (It's the big staff party tonight, which I used to love to go to.... last year was a disaster, I freaked out on my way there and didn't make it to the dinner, and this year I didn't even sign up for it. Who is so much of an alien that they can't even go to a normal party??)

Sorry, I talk too much about myself tonight. Sorry. Thanks for asking.

sorry, one more post..... I really don't feel invalidated or anything when people talk about what they do for Thanksgiving, or Remembrance Day, or Anzac Day, or what have you. I like seeing the pictures and hearing about the food. It's just the automatic assumption that everybody else does the same kind of thing that's hard. It's like being the only childless person at work, in a way, it makes me feel I ought to apologise for the fact that I'm different.

And that's really my problem, nobody else's

Mast... I can't remember you ever talking about your family of origin...who raised you etc.. I know you have a sister though.. I think I get what you are saying....

How do you think you came up with all of these "ideas of what is normal"?

My family was chaotic at best but my mother was raised (she's 80) at a time in the US where if a woman had to work it was a secretary, store clerk, teacher and if you were really educated oriented you might be a librarian (my mother's aspiration). So my mother raised us to think you could be anything you wanted to be and that you could do it all...be a mom and work... in other words she told us what no one never told her but she didn't say hey...you can be a stay at home mom and that would be just fine too... So in my head...I had to go to college and have a career and work...

My father had very limited ideas of what is acceptable in our culture. So whenever there would be a TV show with a "new" social situation being shown on TV as acceptable but my father didn't see it as acceptable ....he always called in "propoganda"... luckily my mother and the rest of society offset my father's teachings"

Did your family have very rigid ideas of what is acceptable? Did they talk about people who lived a "different" life then your family? Is this what led you to think your were "different"?

"Home maker? I might as well be dead!" - Lisa Simpson.

Gah! I've become obsessed with online chess.
I'm always obsessed with something and it makes me unhappy.

Thanks, RTS, that's interesting to hear. So much of what makes us tick goes back to what we learnt when we were very young...

My parents were in their 40s when I was born - I have two sisters, 8 and 10 years older than me. So my parents belonged to an earlier generation than that of my friends' parents, I think, especially since all my grandparents were also pretty old when they had my parents. (My dad's father was born in 1877! He would have been 97 years old when I was born, except he died in the 1930s.) My mother stayed at home with us, until I was about nine. That was already pretty unusual at the time (the 1970s) and today it would be almost unheard of. I think she felt rather constricted to the home. Dad was very authoritarian and what he disapproved of was Wrong. (We had no TV for instance - we were free to watch as much TV as we wanted in other people's homes, but we were raised to think that it was somehow wrong to waste time on that. He disapproved of pop music, and was strictly teetotal. And so on. He wasn't a stern Puritan by any means, he was a cheerful person especially with other people, but he had incredibly rigid rules.) My sisters did the teenage revolt thing, but I never did that. I conformed absolutely. And I always felt that dad was a bit disappointed in me for not being a son. I mean, why would they get another kid, eight years later, when they already had two girls, if not to get a boy, right?

hi everyone...

Mast, I kind of know what it's like to feel left out, or different. I am sorry if I made you feel that way at all. Sometimes I get really sad when I look at the threads, because I don't have a T right now. I know that's my own doing, and I really don't want a t...but since this is the psychotherapy section everything is about T. And I never really post in other sections, so yous guys are the peeps I know. So, frequently, I don't even look at the board. Most people my age are loosing their grandparents now, I am loosing my parents (they were older when they had me). Most people my age have preteen or young teen children, I have young adults (I started young). When I had kids, other parents were a bit older than I, so they never took me seriously. I don't know what my point is, I guess I don't have one...except that I am really sorry you feel left out. I wish no one ever felt that way.

RTS....huxtables vs roseanne....that freakin cracked me up! What matters is not elegance, or even ingredients...it's the time together.

Oh Mastodon... I get it now... those things really do "stick" in a kids mind I was "supposed to be a boy" and I was a "mistake"... I was "adopted because they found me in a trash can and felt sorry for me"... these are all things my siblings said to me...

and all things I never felt like I could "ask my parents" because they would just lie to me and my siblings were the only one who would tell me the truth right?

Ask things of my parents??

Your siblings tell you the truth? My brother is just an extension of the parental units. And fwiw, I totally don't understand parties. I don't know if it's because my parents were depressed too. They would pretend to be the life of the party. It's all very confusing.

I made pumpkin oatmeal. Pretty yummy. I had one small bowl with walnuts, then one with dried cherries, blueberries and cranberries. Could I BE any more anti-oxidized??

I'm obsessed with spider solitaire...

I'm so lucky. My BIL came to visit for Thanksgiving and is bored so he and my other BIL are over doing all the fix-it stuff that my H can't figure out how to do like fixing a leak under the sink and adjusting a lazy susan type cabinet...

My H is away but I know he will be happy to not have to deal with it...

That sounds like fun! T and I will come over if you need any lightbulbs changed

Rts- you can rest assured that I did not get stomped on by any crazy black Friday shoppers. My Bff and I met at 9:30am at Target and it was busy, but not crazy. We spent about two and half hours at Target.. we had so much fun just shopping with each other. We both knocked off a good amount of our Christmas shopping for our kids. The line was kind of crazy, but we had each other to keep each other company. Then, we sat and had lunch for probably an hour and a half.. she lives 16hrs away, so when we get a chance to sit and talk, we take advantage of it! Then, she went on her way and I headed to our local mall, again, was busy, but not crazy.. There is something oddly comforting about being amongst the crowds of people, and just hiding so to speak.. walking around amidst strangers.. I suppose it please my need to run away and blend in with people who don't know me. Now, I am home.. I am about to order pizza and clean!!

Santa Parade - and it's still November.

healed, I know what you mean about safety/comforting feeling of hiding among strangers - it's why I love eating alone in restaurants abroad. I'm glad you had a good day.

Goodnight all. I recommend watching the classic (1970s) Muppet Show if you're feeling down. No blue mood survives The Great Gonzo. Not to mention Danny Kaye as the uncle of the Swedish Chef. (He looked a little like one of my uncles!)

I like this too, I love being in a city where I am unknown. I love being anonymous.