COME GET YOUR KiICKS ON COUCH 66!

Has anyone seen Wiki, Granite, MKAC, and just about every other couchie missing in action?

Healed, I'm glad you emailed it.

Mast, hope your sleeping well.

hey all.
Just checking in. Been really, really down. Watched the old original 1966 Winnie the Pooh with my niece on Friday. Waves of sadness and pain. I remember the chair I sat in and watched it from when I was little...maybe 4 myself. That's all I can remember is the green tweed fabric of that chair. I tried to stay happy and up for my niece...I mean, I love Pooh, it's like one of my top 10 fav books. I don't know what came over me, but it's lingering.

Gonna watch tv with H, and then bed.
's to all who will accept them.
High five's to the rest.

Miss you Lola. I hate that you aren't here.

isn't it horrible how the simplest things that should be enjoyed in life just seem to be ruined by our past .I was thinking about that yesterday. when my husband was a bit angry at me .I ran up to my craft room and hid for the whole day. my husband started making a lot of noise doing dishes . and I went into panic mode big time remembering how horrible it was as a child being kept in my room hearing that same noise only then it meant the mother was out of control and a beating for that day was inevitable. my husband was just doing dishes and making noise . I see it as im going to get beat . CRAZY

Hey Couchsters! I think this time of year is just really hard. I am sorry so many people are struggling and that others might feel left out while the rest of us discuss holidays they do not share.

Just before Thanksgiving, I took D to a Pdoc, and had to list all the mental illness and addiction in the family. So, SO mortifying. On Thanksgiving, I had a great day with my H, D, S, and S's girlfriend and my MIL on Thanksgiving, but my MIL continues to try to get us to accept her extremely rude, inconsiderate, gold-digger of a boyfriend into our lives. My position is that she can obviously have any relationship she wishes, but I do not choose to spend time with anyone who treats others with contempt. No one in the family can stand him. No one. He is staying there a lot and has started trying to tell the cleaning ladies what to do and what to buy. They cannot stand the way he treats them, and the fact that he is going through every closet, shelf and storage area in MIL's house while she is not around.

MIL keeps trying to get us to spend time with him or 'let' her invite him for holidays with us. I said he can be there, but we will not be. I hate feeling like I'm making her choose, but I choose not to spend time with him. He called Friday and says I "need to go to lunch" with him because I "don't even know" him and he thinks I should let him tell me all about himself and how he feels about my MIL. Yeah, did you ever think about asking ME anything about ME? I have heard all about his kids and his former job and how he knows everything about everything. He was really shocked when I said I would think about it and get back to him. He tried to give me a deadline to answer and said he would call back. I said I would let him know. He kept saying, "I just want to take you to lunch!" He seemed flummoxed that I did not just acquiesce.

The next day, saw my mom, two sisters and sister's kids. My family is insane. My mom is busy pretending that the last two years never happened, and/or it was all my fault and she is graciously forgiving me. [I kid you not, the woman will take BOTH of those positions in the same breath.] She is also behaving really inappropriately again -- but claims the touches are 'accidental' or 'harmless' or she pretends she is getting lint off someone's shirt, etc. I lecture others about boundaries but cannot seem to set and enforce a 'no touch' boundary with my own mother. I know if I just flat out refuse to get near her, it will be a huge deal and I am just so tired of huge deals. My life was a lot easier when they just hated me and wouldn't talk to me. Now that I wrote that, I realize that I lived through more than two years of them absolutely HATING me, not sure why this is such a big deal. Probably because my mother will make it about me hurting her feelings.

And my S has gone back to school and that's sad. Our washer broke. My S's girlfriend left a glass of water next to the laptop and the cat knocked it over onto the laptop. My briefcase ripped. The brakes in my truck went out completely -- as in went all the way to the floor several times without stopping the truck. I finally pumped them enough to get stopped, but now they are making a horrible noise. sigh. I just had them checked two months ago and they were a 'green' on the stupid mechanic's checklist.

I'm stressed, and feeling really low, by the way. Did I mention that?

Sorry you are feeling so low MKAC. It sounds like a perfect **** storm at your place and I hope things improve.

For those who asked about Lola, I had to delete her... And now I am CC. I'm sure my daughter will figure it out over time and I miss all my friends. SD was right, she is grown and so am I and I don't care what she reads anymore. Her and I have severed ties and its for the best. Sometimes in life people don't want to hear what has to be said and when they do,they lash out at those who speak the truth. This time actions had consequences and I'm not willing to give up all the friends I have made over the last 2 almost 3 years for fear of what someone else may read. I have finally figured out I don't have to deal with crap if I choose not too and this time I choose not too. I need the support of my real friends (this would be y'all) and not the pretend support of someone who feels they can say and do what they please because we are family. Family has never held that much water for me and still doesn't. Sometimes family isn't good for you as we all well know.

This is one of those situations where I wish I could hit the "Hugs" button multiple times.

CC Bloom

That's one of the most awesome posts I've ever read, CC. Not that you get pretend support from family (because you don't deserve that!), but that you recognize that you don't have to deal with crap if you choose not to and that you choose not to.

I'm glad you're here.

Good to see you cc!

I am really regretting sending the email to t!

Healed, I'm glad you emailed your T. I know reaching out is difficult, but asking for what you need is a good thing.

You needed to do it and you did it, it's out there... It's ok healed

Listening to christmas music and making toll house chocolate chip cookies with younger son. He's excited because I'm "finally"(his term) letting him take things in and out of the oven.

I know you both are right as far as needing to contact him.. It is just leaving out there for him to see.. and than the doubts come in. What if he doesn't believe me, what if its not really "that bad," what if he just doesn't respond and I left guessing what the heck he is thinking until Friday, in the mean time.. I trying to fight off these stupid thoughts not only the what ifs, but the thoughts that lead me to email him in the first place.

H and I see MC tomorrow.. all I have to say about that is UGH! I was trying to get a feel for what H was thinking for MC and maybe see if we can cancel and just be done with it.. He said, of course we are going tomorrow, we have a lot to talk about. Wonderful. I don't want to deal with MC crap right now, I want to come home after work and hide in my bed!!

Sorry to be such a downer!

Sounds like a great evening!

Hey CC good to see you. Healed good on you for emailing your T. It takes courage.

My T session was not too bad we didn't get to talk about everything I wanted to, but we talked about the sale of the house and guilt and shame and responsiblity and asking for help. We discussed varying degrees of responsibilty when I am ill. So it was pretty paked and thought-provoking. And it was the first time in along time that I didn't throw up before the session, because I think I've finally convinced myself that it is a safe place.
Hugs to all that accept them and whatever floats your boat for the others.
I love tollhouse chocolate chip cookies.

MT and personal T are a bunch to deal with at once and I applaud all who can do both simultaneously, but if you cant, then maybe one issue at a time? I know this is rough for you Healed , maybe you can talk to H about the marriage issues without T if you wanna bail?

Hi CC! I am glad that you are here!

I bought a 2 ft tree which I decorated and plugged in and sat on my bar. At Christmas W and I used to go all out decorating inside and out, But this year things are different. Kids moved off and out, we moved off and out. After recent events it will be just her and I with the youngest for Christmas, which has never happened. This is going to be a trying time for me and I can't wait til January 2013 to kiss this year goodbye!

great on the no vomiting and feeling somewhat safe in T. and awesome on the work you are doing.you got a lot of life changes going on .it ant be very easy at all but you are doing it .

I get that cc. so many changes also one after another.

Glad you are back, CC.

I like tollhouse chocolate chip cookies but without so many chocolate chips. I make mine with about a quarter of the chips called for in the recipe.

Still sweating the whole jury duty thing tomorrow.... I'm really hoping its civil and not criminal... I have to report tomorrow at 9am