How do you know when its time to end therapy? What are the signs that you are ready to leave? I've been reading articles about this, but would rather hear from people who have experienced this first-hand.

[lightcatcher]

I don't have an answer for you really . I've never left T. I've been seeing T for a few months now and she asked me to think of what I want and where I would like to be in a years time, maybe not seeing her. My insides screamed a big fat NO! So maybe when my insides are ok with not seeing her then I will know. ??? I don't know but I'm thinking that might be it for me.

When do you think squiggle?

[CantExplain]

I left madame T when I realized I was never going to get what I wanted from her.

Hi Squiggle... I'm on my 3rd T and none of the reasons I left was because I thought I was done needing therapy... Just so you know... So i dont really have an answer to when do you know you no longer need therapy

but i think there is an interim question to ask and that is...have I got everything I can learn from this T at this time?

I think as a caregiver you should always have a support system so I guess it comes down to what other support do you have?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

How do you know when its time to end therapy? What are the signs that you are ready to leave? I've been reading articles about this, but would rather hear from people who have experienced this first-hand.

I dont ...end...therapy. I schedule with my therapist when I have things to work on and I dont schedule with my therapist when I dont have issues to work on...

for example when I found myself to be suicidal, I called my therapist, gave her a brief run down of how I was feeling and asked her to call me to set up an appointment. She called me back and I worked with her until the suicidal thoughts stopped, then when I had a work related problem I called her and gave a brief rundown, asked for an appointment, she called back, and I worked with her until the work related PTSD issues were no longer a problem, when I was pregnant I knew I had to go off my meds so as a precaution I contacted her and worked with her through out my pregnancy, ......

my therapist and I never ...end....we just let the process work and evolve naturally.

[stopdog]

I have ended before when I realized I had no reason to go. I was bored, I had better things to do with the money, and there was nothing new to discuss.

[eskielover]

I have always found that when I felt like it was ok to stop.....immediately something would come up that caused me to have the need for T again.....so I do believe that there will never be an end to therapy.....when things get less stressful (which hasn't happened yet), I schedule my appointments farther apart.....but then I have my DBT next step group available every week to go to & that also helps but not like personal individual T helps. I had an emergency vet appointment when I was heading to my last T appointment ......so ended up having way too much time at this time of year between appointments.

We talked about it & it's really best to spread the appointments out some before just stopping (sort of like going off meds)........if you really don't need the therapy, those times between will lengthen....if not....you will definitely know that ending T isn't the best idea.

[anilam]

Do you mean end therapy or T?
I terminated with several Ts. Now I have a one I like. I do think about ending therapy (after 7 yr who wouldn't, right?). I talked to T about that. I think reasons behind are important- ending because you're afraid to discuss some painful topic, scared you overshared, feel you're unable to change (but secretly hope to), want to punish yourself... are just not good enough.
I think being done with therapy is when you like who you are/become and feel like you could use the time/money/energy on better things.

[skysblue]

Right now I am able to end therapy if I choose. My years with T helped me learn about myself, how to regulate emotions, behave more authentically and with less dysfunction. I am calmer, less prone to the suffering of anxiety, fear, self-loathing, anger, etc.

I'm not saying I am free of those painful emotions but that I'm better able to explore them and understand them and with better ability to work through challenges in my relationships.

With this ability I am less reliant on my T even though in the past I was very attached and dependent on her.

I do love her as a person who has helped me through my worst times and she knows me better than anyone else.

And, for that reason, I choose not to end therapy. My issues are not as urgent or painful as in the past but I love having the option to continue to explore and examine new things that come up for me in therapy.

I suspect I will never end therapy if I can continue to have that opportunity. My relationship with her is precious.

And, another thing, I love to be honest with friends that I have a therapist. There is a certain stigma attached to being in therapy sometimes and so I like the opportunity to show people that a 'normal', functioning person like myself can still benefit from the process.

Thanks for all the comments and suggestions. I had my appointment last night and we talked about this. I had already been emailing her for the past week, so she knew what to expect when I came in. She agreed with me that researching too much about topics can get a person really confused. It can also stir up a LOT of anxiety that can be avoided if I just talk with her directly about EVERYTHING!

I like what skysblue said about being honest and telling people she is in therapy. I have gotten that way, too. I don't just blurt it out, but if I feel it may benefit someone I am talking with, I will tell them about my experience and how much therapy has helped me.

I did miss two weeks seeing my therapist this month. It was due to me losing my voice and I couldn't talk. I didn't feel that well, either. But I did okay not seeing her. I managed just fine. She was good with that, but wondered had I not been sick, how would I have done? I mean, when you are sick, you don't feel like doing anything.

She was quite proud that I did so good, just apprehensive when I said maybe I didn't need her anymore! I was just joking, but kinda serious a little bit about tapering it off. Then, all HECK broke loose in my life and the blasted panic, anxiety and depression bombarded me! I think I have learned not to go to the extreme about situations, but I sure realized how much it helped to have that support system in place. Someone I could tell ANYTHING. You can't do that with just anyone.

We had a really good session. I was very open and honest about my feelings about how long I have been in therapy, and that I felt kinda guilty about it. Like she was really tired of me, but just didn't want to hurt my feelings or send me into a downward spiral if she talked about an ending date for therapy.

She assured me that she was not planning to discharge me until both of us felt that the time was right. She assured me that I was not getting on her nerves, she was not tired of me, I wasn't 'messed up', it was okay to 'need' a support person, and that I have made a huge amount of progress since seeing her.

I told her that now that we have worked through so much of the painful stuff, I realize how much more I need to work on! Myself! With all that baggage gone, I am beginning to see me and who I am. I want to work on who I want to become. That could take forever, but as long as she is okay with seeing me, I will continue with her.

We do have a great relationship. It's almost scary, though. Could I manage without her? Probably so, but I wouldn't be all that I could be if I choose to stay in therapy and continue to work on myself.