Couch 67 - Keep calm, carry on, and have a cup of tea.

It's a great book! I love the way it's written and I can relate to Oskar in many ways (even though I'm supposedly an adult now). Have you read Everything Is Illuminated by the same author? I've got the book but I haven't read it yet.

EDIT: Have you seen the movie by the way? If so, what did you think of it?

Stopdog-are you in the UK? We are due bad weather soon. I think Scotland already have it bad. Its windy down south today.
I hope you and your dogs stay safe.

Haven't read Everything is Illuminated (yet). I probably will at some point; I just liked Exremely Loud so much that it's hard to want to branch out in a way. Don't know if that makes any sense.

Anyway, I also liked the book so much that I decided not to see the movie. I felt I connected with it so well that I'd be annoyed with any movie portrayal.

Did you see it?

I get it.

I've seen the movie, yes. I actually quite like it.

I am in the more southern part of the US. Ice is more frequent than snow in my area. It does seem to be the nasty weather time across a lot of the globe.
My one dog broke his leg in a bad fashion awhile back while playing rambunctiously, and ever since then I sort of get twitchy whenever he might slip and fall on it. It is healed and he has all sorts of screws and plates in it, but it was such a freaky accident the first time and I am a bit crazy about the pets.

Hmm... it might be worth a try then. My brother also really liked the book and we debated back and forth about seeing it until it just wasn't showing anymore!

Speaking of which, I'm taking him to Ender's Game (part of his birthday gift) this weekend. He's got the same worry, that he won't like the movie because he really liked the book, but it's been over 10 years since I read any Orson Scott Card so I'm just looking forward to the nostalgia .

Sure, as long as you don't blame me if you don't like it. Ha.

I've never read Ender's Game. I don't even know what it's about to be honest. I recognize the title though. Is it science fiction?

We're waiting for a bit of bad weather as well, with heavy snowfall and strong winds. They've already cancelled trains and buses in some parts of the country, and have warned for more of the same. I'm glad I don't have to go into town tomorrow.

Yes - I've never read it, either, but I know it's military sf. I think I should perhaps read it simply because it's so well-known in the genre.

I just ordered the two Jonathan Safran Foer books you guys were discussing. I have had great luck ordering books based on recommendations from here before. Stopdog recommended one series of books that my husband loves.

Great decision! Let us know what you think of them.

So I finally feel okay discussing my T appointment from Tuesday a little. It may be triggering for some (discussion of inappropriate touching), and I was embarrassed about it.



T and I spent most of the appointment talking about my MIL's boyfriend and his request/demand that I go to lunch with him so he can tell me about himself and how he feels about MIL. He says I don't even know him and I "have" to let him tell me about himself. I said I would consider it. T and I discussed it and how I feel that (1) it's a lot of pressure because he insists on meeting me with JUST the two of us and doesn't want my H there, so it feels like he's trying to intimidate me. And (2) making it JUST me continues the misconception that *I* am the problem when the reality is that no one in the family likes him and my kids absolutely refuse to be around him. T agreed with me on those points and we discussed the pros and cons of the meeting.

I had mentioned at the beginning of the appointment how I needed to talk to about my mother and her craziness over Thanksgiving, but I talked about MIL's B until less than 10 minutes were left in the session. T asked me about my mother at that point and I told him how, despite how carefully I usually hug her to try to stop her from touching me weirdly (I use my left hand to hold her right arm and keep my right arm clamped to my rib cage), she still managed to grope me when I hugged her. Then she was pissed at my D and me because D did not hug my mother. Well, duh.

T said there for a second and I had trouble reading his expression, Then he said, "and you wait until the last 5 minutes to tell me THIS?'' Well. Last 8 minutes technically, but yeah. So it turns out he thought that was a much bigger deal than I did. Although on some level, I knew it was a big deal because my hands were shaking when I talked about it, and are shaking even now writing about it, but the MIL's B thing was important too AND it was practical AND it is something I can do something about. Anyway. So T was frustrated and a bit upset it seemed. He kept going past the end of session, discussing it and how unsafe my mother is and how he thinks I should not be in the same room with her. I kept trying to wrap things up and get out on time, but he insisted we needed to discuss it (he rarely insists on much). He even kept talking about it when I walked over to the scheduling desk and talked WHILE he was doing the scheduling thing. He has gone past the end of session maybe twice in over three years, so I am feeling like I got therapy detention.

Not therapy detention, MKAC. You got some extra care and attention. There's not one thing wrong with getting that.

Your T seemed frustrated and upset, but I'd bet anything it wasn't with you, it was with your mother. They do that, you know. When T's care about us (and they do), it upsets them when people hurt us or act inappropriately around us. He's not upset with you. He understands that it's hard to talk about how your mother is.

MKAC

don't you just "love" defense mechanisms.... T's hate them because they make us do things like door knob bomb shells.... dropping big news right at the end... and of course minimizing...

He's such a good T....

(btw...it is a big deal)

In my pursuit to have healthy relationships (which I couldn't even define that let alone manage to carry that out), I made a final appt with xT to have some closure since I just stopped going...AGAIN

I have quit and gone back to this guy at least 4 or 5 times....

I haven't told him yet that I've started going to someone who accepts my insurance... but no matter all of my other love/hate feelings for him I can't afford to keep seeing him.

I tried to figure out what my goal is in having this last meeting. I couldn't really come up with anything other than to thank him for all he's done and to make sure he's not angry with me... because that is how my codependent self rolls...

Hey couch.. its been a long week and a pretty bad day.. Had already had a conversation with T on the phone by 9am this morning. Now, I trying to talk myself into getting dressed and heading out to school for basket ball practice.

On a side note- H is pissed that my son has gone to daycare two days this week that I didn't work. I get it... but how blind do you have to be to see that your wife is struggling, and that there is a REASON why I send him there. There is no way, I could give him what he needed as far as care, and nurturing goes, this weeks. Which, is sucky to admit. H does obviously see that I have been isolating more, and he knew that I saw T once already this week, and I will see him again.. In some ways he has got to know that something is up more than being depressed.. On the other hand, I have not explicitly told him, that I have been battling the thoughts that I have been for the last couple of weeks. I suppose, it is time, to at least tell him that part.

Healed.... I'm no PDOC but it seems that some people are helped by antidepressants..... is that an option?

I have a bottle of antidepressants I filled a couple of months ago.. Probably, T and I will talk about it tomorrow. Part of the problem is, I don't like doctor I see, and it means I am watched closely by her, once I do start the meds. Maybe, finding a new doc is what I need.

That sounds like it could help. I've found that having a pdoc I like and trust has been very helpful to me. I like my PCP, too, but she doesn't manage my anti-depressants. It's a bit out of her realm of expertise.

"My Family and other Animals" by Gerald Durrell.

Stopdog writes like a Brit but she's actually somewhere near Tennessee (as close as I can guess).

They make US wait until the next session (when we email, for example), so it's only fair that THEY have to wait sometimes.

Too many Jane Austen, Anthony Trollope, Evelyn Waugh and Dorothy Sayers (among others) novels.

And old bbc sitcoms - I adore BlackAdder and Waiting for God. And Red Dwarf.
And Monty Python. And Rumpole of the Bailey.

Indeed. Waiting is good for them. Perhaps one should ask them how it makes them feel.

I love all his books, but that one is a favorite.