Santa Claus is coming to couch 68!!!!!

I don't think I want to only learn about my past though. I'd like to know how my past has gotten me to where I am today but I don't really want to just focus on the past (I know you said psychodynamic therapist will be interested in the present too, but I just wanted to clarify what I'd like anyway). Do you know what I mean? I feel like I'm being really picky/fussy right now. What if therapy will never work out for me?

EDIT: Do psychodynamic therapists work with coming up with solutions by the way? I mean, what in psychodynamic therapy makes a client better? Maybe that's a weird question but I don't really know how else to phrase it.

You're being fussy because you're scared . It's hard to face something that can take a long time to work, and you can't even really be sure it's going to work in the first place. It's hard, and sometimes hopelessness takes over and makes giving up look like the best option. And when giving up looks like the best option... it can be easy to just shoot everything down.

We don't just talk about my past. We talk about it a lot -- probably less now, since my T knows me very well at this point. We talk about my day-to-day sometimes, my dreams sometimes, my relationship with T sometimes, my family, my husband, my depression, my work, my visions for the future, my pregnancy, my hopes and fears. My past tells him a lot about why I am the way that I am now, but it's not always the answer. And sometimes he *does* make suggestions -- for instance, I have been thinking about switching my meds, but have been not really proactive about it. He suggested I try to contact my pdoc to talk about it, sooner rather than later.

I basically empty out my head to him, and he tries to help me make sense of it.

((neutrino))

Bad sessions are hard to take but perhaps they serve some useful purpose...?

I notice you blame yourself for the bad session. I generally blame the T.

My T takes a mostly psychoanalytical approach, but we talk about the past only to inform my present and future. It helps me to understand why I am where I am, why I do what I do, and why it can be so hard to do things differently. We don't focus on it. We really focus on what's going on now, but we acknowledge what happened long ago.

Sometimes it means we spend a whole session on the past, but not that often. Even when we do, as often as not, one or the other of us will connect it to some present day issue of mine, at least in passing.

I really do believe that if we don't learn from the past, we are doomed to repeat it. I've seen that throughout my life. I've repeated some of the same patterns in relationship after relationship. Only by examining the origins of the pattern and finding out what need I'm trying to satisfy am I ever going to truly get the need satisfied.

A good psychodynamic/psychoanalytic therapist does not just work with the past. He or she weaves the story of your past into your present, so you understand your needs and your choices better. You can make better, more informed decisions.

Your T is doing too much telling and not enough listening. In my humble opinion.

Hey Granite! Is there anything in your Santa bag for me?

See, that is what I want! I want to be able to talk about things and not only find quick solutions to everything before I'm even ready for that. Sometimes I just need to be able to talk about things that bother me and have someone help me make sense of it. I've had serious problems for about a decade now (and my social anxiety started way before that, when I was four or five years old) and I feel like there are so many things I need to figure out.

And yes, giving up seems like the best option sometimes. I'm getting really tired of all of this now but at the same time I refuse to give up. I don't know how to move forward though.

Thank you. I don't really know what kind of purpose an awful lot of disappointing sessions would serve though? Maybe I just fail to see it.

I find it very easy to blame myself. I tend to do that a lot.

Maybe. It might be because I'm pretty quiet though. I've told him I find it very difficult to translate my thoughts and feelings into words and he knows that. However, even when I speak I don't really feel like he gets what I'm actually saying. Don't get me wrong, he's not a bad person at all. I just wonder if we're a good fit. I really want this to work out but I don't know if it will.

That's what I'd like too (thanks for explaining by the way). But what if I choose to try psychodynamic therapy and it turns into yet another disaster? What if I get one of the less good psychodynamic therapists who only focuses on the past and thinks all my problems have to do with something which happened when I was very little (these are things I've seen on TV about psychodynamic therapy, forgive my lack of knowledge about what it's really like). I'm already on my second therapist in half a year.

Also, I feel really bad about sitting here complaining about my therapist. I feel like it's necessary but I don't want you to think he's a bad person. I feel ungrateful. Am I ungrateful?

cant most definitely . i think it is a therapy for dummies book to be regifted to Madame T. and a watch that allows you to dial in as long as you need in a day to keep the stress monsters from taking over at work. oh and last but not least some self confidence . your worth while

to hank i would give a divorce to her T and a date the rest is up to you. oh and a mirror of truth so you can see how beautiful you are .you put yourself down way to much

What and ruin a beautiful perfect relationship?

I like the mirror tho.

Are you sure youre not Mrs Claus? These gifts are great!

And what does Mrs Claus want?

Peace on earth so her boy can come home

I don't think you're being ungrateful. I see you saying that his approach isn't helping you, not that he's a bad person or isn't trying to help.

I find that I self-blame a lot when I'm feeling hopeless and without control. It's like if it's my fault, that's something I can control in a way. Accepting that other people can be at fault can be frightening because it means I put delicate things like my mental health in the hands of others. I also find confrontation exhausting, and struggle against avoiding it at all costs.

that would be a gift beyond belief

No. i was complaining about my t TO my t today. He said i was seeing him like my mother.

Maybe you answered this elsewhere, but are you on any kind of meds? I take prozac and topamax (a mood stabilizer) and they help my ocd symptoms like counting everything and talking too fast and too much. I dont think i could just "stop" doing stuff. Also i am smart and maybe even insightful but slow to understand emotional stuff, to really get it.

santa needs a nap

Good because I think he's really trying to help.

I understand what you mean. However, I think I self-blame because of my low self-esteem.

Nope, I'm not on any meds. I've been offered medication on several occasions during the past six months but I'm too scared to try them. There are times when I think I should probably really give it a go but the fear always wins.

I can understand that. I was VERY reluctant to try meds. In retrospect, i wish i had tried them sooner, like ten or twenty years sooner. It might have made a difference in my life? I started mine on a weekend so as not to interfere too much with work.

i have T tomorrow and i had this whole idea of what i want to work on and now i have no idea at all. i hate that . it is like my mind is so working against me talking to this woman

Afternoon couch.

Well, the "bag lady" day went well. I only have 4 reindeer/pencil bags left for absent kids. Those will be easy to carry tomorrow.

It was finally "cool" today. Florida "winter" is here. Thank goodness it wasn't 80+ degrees today like it was the past few days.

Neutrino, I don't think you are runing the thread. You are just frustrated. Sometimes it helps to vent that frustration, so vent all you want.

Well, I don't know about the rest of the ladies, but I'm not sure I'd want to wear only 50% of a pair of panties

-----

But isn't that the basic concept of a thong?

Am on the bus home from watching The Hobbit. I liked it better than I'd thought I would.

neutrino, you asked how I found a better T. I had a friend who kept badgering me to get a T I could open up to. The one I'm seeing now, I first saw as a pdoc, recommended by my exT, and I realised the first time I met him that he was much easier to talk to than my then-T. When I decided to quit with exT, after a series of extremely frustrating appointments (I recently read some threads I started back then), my friend prodded me into asking my pdoc to take me on for therapy. So in a sense I shopped for a new T while seeing my old T. And the difference between the "bad" and the "good" T was really very clear to me. Thing is, I don't think my old T was actually bad, we were simply not very well matched.

Ba da bum!

Good evening couch.. Crappy day, topped of with a crappy night. Normal crappy stuff though, anxiety, rolled in with ptsd crap, on top of, raging anger stemming from an argument with my H, etc.. And to top it of, my daughter start crying after school tell me her ears hurt, which is nothing new to us as she has had tubes in her ears before. But, she is sensitive to pain, so sometimes when she says her ears hurt, it really could just be fluid build up from her cold that she has and nothing more.. but, she continues to cry.. So, I bring her to urgent care as her pedi office was close already.. She not only has an ear infection, she has a tonsil, and sinus infection all on the left side. Poor girl, not sure how long that has been hanging out, but glad we know and is on some meds for it.

I wish I could handle normal everyday stress like regular people do.. instead I do stuff like punch walls and yell at my h!