If this is the best they can do, should I continue?

Granted, I am not a lot of fun and I've had to give up my sports hobbies due to chronic injuries (mostly because of bad feet). Even the long walks I used to take are now out of the question.

T wants me to take up something "artistic" in the belief that the escape that art offers helps one deal with reality. With my bad feet, going to museums is not a possibility. I'm not artistically inclined.

As far as I'm concerned, another useless suggestion.

[A Red Panda]

How will you know until you try? And try it again?

[rothfan6]

Try weaving paracord or making stuff out of chainmaile. Both are easy to learn and inexpensive. It helps me. Working with my hands frees up my mind.

http://m.instructables.com/id/Paracord/

http://www.cgmaille.com/tutorials.shtml

how about musically? Lots of adults take up an instrument...guitar? Drums?

[mixedup_emotions]

T can't help you get motivated to do something. Unfortunately, that's going to have to come from you.

Originally Posted by Readytostop

how about musically? Lots of adults take up an instrument...guitar? Drums?

I think this is the direction that the T is leaning towards. She has already suggested that I take up a musical instrument because the learning involved - she claims - rearranges the brain in such a way that it benefits sufferers of c-PTSD like myself. As a youth, I lost the tip to a finger on my left hand which rules out stringed instruments. I'd love to learn percussion but am not sure my neighbors would appreciate it and there are space limitations in my apartment. I've never cared for the sound of wind and brass instruments. That leaves a keyboard instrument / piano. I am considering it. As a youngster, I did not have musical talent when I took guitar lessons. Like sports, I lack coordination when it comes to dexterity.

I am leaning more in the direction towards taking college courses despite their being stressful when it comes to exams and papers. I like to learn. However, the college courses I would take would not be defined as "frivolous."

[Daeva]

I am no good at drawing but I do it anyway, it doesn't have to be anything fancy, sometimes I just draw all sorts of colors. You could get some pastels and blend them, it makes it really pretty and blending them is really therapeutic.

However art takes many forms. It could even be collecting something, like leaves and ripping them up and gluing them on a poster board to make a prety collage of different colors and types of leaves, or even an instrument, Piano always helped me. Also writing, I find poetry and writing a third person narrative always helpful. Like I'll take my emotions and put them into a character in a situation and write it out.

I think your T used the term 'frivolous' wrong, she/he shouldn't have said that. To me that connotates useless, and something that helps you isn't useless. These aren't frivolous at all

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

T can't help you get motivated to do something. Unfortunately, that's going to have to come from you.

Motivation has been a big problem for several years now. I have given up on life. I am tired of it. It seems that I have exhausted all options of things that once appealed to me and failed at all of them. I really don't know how to turn things around. I told the T how bad things are for me right now. I don't think she understands how grave things really are.

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by unguy

Motivation has been a big problem for several years now. I have given up on life. I am tired of it. It seems that I have exhausted all options of things that once appealed to me and failed at all of them. I really don't know how to turn things around. I told the T how bad things are for me right now. I don't think she understands how grave things really are.

I definitely can understand that. I was in that dark place a few times, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody. It's an agonizing, lifeless, hopeless place. No energy at all. Just that deep dark hole.

My T suggested that I go on meetup.com and try to find something to get involved in. I had no desire at all to do it. What he told me was that I needed to do it IN SPITE of what I was feeling. So, while every fiber of my being wanted to do nothing of the sort, I had to push myself to pick stuff to try out. I had no idea where to start.

It's not easy to climb out of that hole.

Originally Posted by Daeva

I am no good at drawing but I do it anyway, it doesn't have to be anything fancy, sometimes I just draw all sorts of colors. You could get some pastels and blend them, it makes it really pretty and blending them is really therapeutic.

However art takes many forms. It could even be collecting something, like leaves and ripping them up and gluing them on a poster board to make a prety collage of different colors and types of leaves, or even an instrument, Piano always helped me. Also writing, I find poetry and writing a third person narrative always helpful. Like I'll take my emotions and put them into a character in a situation and write it out.

I think your T used the term 'frivolous' wrong, she/he shouldn't have said that. To me that connotates useless, and something that helps you isn't useless. These aren't frivolous at all

Thanks for you're re-definition of "frivolous." Coming from a family with several people who are very talented in art, I am hesitant to take up drawing. At best, everything would be abstract. It's a hobby where I would be too shy / afraid to show my work. I know that I am painfully shy and insecure, and that's a big problem. Also, I am slow at making decisions and often make bad ones even though there has been a lot of deliberation. I am truly afraid of investing in something that, it turns out, I don't enjoy. Lately, I don't seem to enjoy anything and that's very scary.

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

I definitely can understand that. I was in that dark place a few times, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody. It's an agonizing, lifeless, hopeless place. No energy at all. Just that deep dark hole.

My T suggested that I go on meetup.com and try to find something to get involved in. I had no desire at all to do it. What he told me was that I needed to do it IN SPITE of what I was feeling. So, while every fiber of my being wanted to do nothing of the sort, I had to push myself to pick stuff to try out. I had no idea where to start.

It's not easy to climb out of that hole.

I once had a T tell me (correctly so) that feelings are not that important. I am in a hole because I have been treated badly by a lot of people for a long time. And, today I had a really, really bad day due to some of the chronic illnesses that I suffer from, and for other reasons too. I keep trying to break out of the habit that I learned from my mother and aunt that "I'll do it when I feel like it." But, I learned that at such a young age and it was instilled so deeply that it's hard to fight it because I'm not always conscious of it.

I have been following things on meet-up and on the platonic pages of Craig's List. I have been afraid to follow through. I know that socially I will not succeed until I pick up my face and smile. I have a ways to go before that becomes a reality.

I guess the bottom line is that I really don't need something that's frivolous. I need to find something that I genuinely enjoy; something I will be adequate at without much effort or talent.

[unaluna]

Amateur theater critic? For new playwrights and new works, off off off off Broadway. I enjoyed my time in such play groups.

Originally Posted by hankster

Amateur theater critic? For new playwrights and new works, off off off off Broadway. I enjoyed my time in such play groups.

I am one of the few gays who is not into theater (or movies) at all! Go figure. LOL.

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by unguy

I guess the bottom line is that I really don't need something that's frivolous. I need to find something that I genuinely enjoy; something I will be adequate at without much effort or talent.

Perhaps you can try not to judge something as frivolous or not. Ultimately, if it helps you progress - whatever the activity is - it warrants not being labeled.

And finding something that you genuinely enjoy would likely include some trial and error. Sometimes we need to get involved in things that we think we might like before we can decide if it's really something we want to pursue in greater depth...and you never know what could come from the experience.

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

Perhaps you can try not to judge something as frivolous or not. Ultimately, if it helps you progress - whatever the activity is - it warrants not being labeled.

And finding something that you genuinely enjoy would likely include some trial and error. Sometimes we need to get involved in things that we think we might like before we can decide if it's really something we want to pursue in greater depth...and you never know what could come from the experience.

I guess I should move to a part of the country where I can play golf. I seem to always compare activities to my love for tennis which I cannot play anymore due to injury. I know that I like to be outdoors. Maybe I'll take up bocce ball? LOL

[Leah123]

It seems you're expending some energy on discounting ideas and pre-judging that you might try expending on something more fulfilling, more affirming. You don't need to take up an activity with the idea of excelling, or with the idea that it must be the perfect one for you, or that it's got to be deeply meaningful.

Just.... try something. Trial and error is okay. It would be progress. You can learn a lot just from that about yourself, and life, and have some interesting experiences in the meantime. You can do one art project today, or take a walk or drive and get lost on purpose. Buy a new food that scares you and eat it. Pick up a cheap keyboard and try a youtube lesson on how to play it, there's a ton of free lessons online for most hobbies actually.

Have an impulse, no matter how tiny and quiet and follow it. And be kind to yourself, don't harshly judge the results, but give yourself credit for trying and stepping out of your depressed comfort zone!

Good luck!

[wotchermuggle]

Ya'll are going to call me NUTS but something that works for me is colouring in a colouring book.

Yes, colouring with crayons in a colouring book. Don't knock it until you try it. The best thing is that you can get it all at the dollar store to try out.

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by wotchermuggle

Ya'll are going to call me NUTS but something that works for me is colouring in a colouring book.

Yes, colouring with crayons in a colouring book. Don't knock it until you try it. The best thing is that you can get it all at the dollar store to try out.

You are not the first person I've heard who does this. I know someone who does it so I tried (with my kids so I had that as a cover) and it is very relaxing! Who knew?

[FrayedEnds]

Originally Posted by wotchermuggle

Ya'll are going to call me NUTS but something that works for me is colouring in a colouring book.

I don't think I'll be calling you nuts. I do it too.
They even make some cool ones with Monets, Van Goghs, Renoirs, etc. If I remember correctly...I think the company is dover publishing.

[winter4me]

Originally Posted by unguy

I think this is the direction that the T is leaning towards. She has already suggested that I take up a musical instrument because the learning involved - she claims - rearranges the brain in such a way that it benefits sufferers of c-PTSD like myself. As a youth, I lost the tip to a finger on my left hand which rules out stringed instruments. I'd love to learn percussion but am not sure my neighbors would appreciate it and there are space limitations in my apartment. I've never cared for the sound of wind and brass instruments. That leaves a keyboard instrument / piano. I am considering it. As a youngster, I did not have musical talent when I took guitar lessons. Like sports, I lack coordination when it comes to dexterity.

I am leaning more in the direction towards taking college courses despite their being stressful when it comes to exams and papers. I like to learn. However, the college courses I would take would not be defined as "frivolous."

I challenge your description of ANY activity as "frivolous". Your t. has a very good suggestion. And, creating anything can take you places you never imagined it could, deep, wonderful places; and it is Work too, it is not trivial by any means. I too have c-PTSD and one of the best things I can do for myself is make Something, use my hands and let my inner guide loose to go where it will. [in some countries artists, writers, creators are in jail for expressing themselves, this is not frivolous]--you may find a way that will help you work through your issues at the same time that you find something you can (yes. really) enjoy and be proud of doing.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by rothfan6

Try weaving paracord or making stuff out of chainmaile. Both are easy to learn and inexpensive. It helps me. Working with my hands frees up my mind.

Easy Paracord Projects

CGMaille.com - Tutorials

Those are brilliant ideas! Also, what about woodwork?

[CantExplain]

Model railway? Surfing? Sailing? Camping? Canoeing? Stamp collecting? Archery?

[A Red Panda]

Soap carving. It's like the prelude to soap-stone carving. It's a little soapy-smelling, but it's cool. I can get my 9-year old students to successfully make a few things, so it's manageable! And it doesn't require more than time and patience and some precision skills.

Originally Posted by FrayedEnds

I don't think I'll be calling you nuts. I do it too.
They even make some cool ones with Monets, Van Goghs, Renoirs, etc. If I remember correctly...I think the company is dover publishing.

The suggestion has merit though I would probably try painting by numbers. It might be a good introduction to drawing / art. Thanks.

Originally Posted by winter4me

I challenge your description of ANY activity as "frivolous". Your t. has a very good suggestion. And, creating anything can take you places you never imagined it could, deep, wonderful places; and it is Work too, it is not trivial by any means. I too have c-PTSD and one of the best things I can do for myself is make Something, use my hands and let my inner guide loose to go where it will. [in some countries artists, writers, creators are in jail for expressing themselves, this is not frivolous]--you may find a way that will help you work through your issues at the same time that you find something you can (yes. really) enjoy and be proud of doing.

Thanks for your comments. Frankly, I have never been a very frivolous person. That's my personality. As a child I was not encouraged to pursue interests and have few; there were also no funds to pursue interests and that is still the case as I am on SSDI. I also don't seem to have many talents or have a tendency to be optimistic. The T's suggestion seems to say that she does not know me. I think I may be better off with a male therapist even though she is good at many things.

I try new things all the time: new foods / restaurants; new routes through the city; study / read up on new subjects, etc. I am always trying new things but am not focused on one. I know that I need new hobbies and need more social contact. Where I live there are no places to canoe or space to learn archery. It's a big city. Almost everything is expensive. As a boy scout I did try carving enough to know that it's not something I want to do.

There are lot of things going on. I am dealing with injuries and aging. I had hobbies. I am missing my old hobbies - especially tennis - terribly even though I cannot participate anymore on any level including teaching. There is nothing that can replace it; everything is a let down. The T appears to not have ever been athletic. She does not understand. Adapting to sedentary hobbies will not be easy. I'd like to try bird watching but my feet are too bad for the long walks that would entail. The injuries and other physical issues also prevent me from swimming. I can cycle only in moderation. I love food but need to lose a lot of weight and am on a very limited diet due to several dietary intolerances. I've explored spirituality (several religions) but am not a very spiritual person. I tried learning a new language (Italian) a while back. I still think that going back to school is my best option. I have always liked to learn and that will never change. It's an intrinsic part of who I am. I'd like to study international politics again though I have no idea what I would do with a degree or certificate in that subject.