[penguinh]

I've been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder and have been receiving treatment at the hospital outpatient program for about a month and a half. I meet with a psychiatrist once in a while (he'll be putting me on medication in the new year) and a social worker weekly. However, I feel like the therapy has been a let down.

I remember my first session with the SW. It made me feel so dirty that for the first time in my life, I wanted to self harm. I guess it was that feeling of vulnerability and hopelessness that really got to me. For some reason, I feel like the therapy hasn't helped me at all. I'm supposed to be doing CBT but I don't think I'm learning anything that is really benefiting me. In fact, it feels like I'm just talking to a guidance counselor about my weekly problems. It may be a bit cliche but I also expected the SW to say profound things that will make me reflect on my life and change the way I feel about things but she doesn't. Is therapy supposed to feel this way? I almost feel like the therapy is useless besides making me feel like someone's listening to my problems.

[CantExplain]

Therapy takes some getting used to. At first it doesn't seem to do any good. It takes faith, something you may be short of if you are depressed. I would have given up if I hadn't been so desperate.

It takes time and effort, Give it time and I am sure you will be okay.
I remember someone saying to me " The beginning of therapy is always the hardest" It is very true.

It takes time for you to take notice at the things t says. At the start we don't notice them but as therapy progresses our life becomes clearer and we say profound things about ourselves.
Sorry it's so hard right now but it does get better and it is worth sticking through the good and the bad

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I would like to voice a slightly different opinion here - it does sound as if your social worker might not be the best therapist for you. So much depends on how well you and the therapist fit, and if the fit isn't good, then the therapy will be much less effective. (To me it sounds odd that a social worker would do actual therapy, because most social workers are not licenced to do so in my country, but I know it's different in different countries.)

I have never been in CBT myself, but I understand that it is supposed to provide you with useful skills that directly relate to your real life. If, after half a dozen appointments, you don't feel that you have been getting any of that it might be worth bringing this up with your therapist.

It could be that your therapist is waiting until you are on medication to start with the real CBT work, but I would think that you should be told about that. As for the therapist making profound reflections that change your thinking, I'm not sure that is very common. What she should do is make observations that may be difficult for you to make yourself, about your life and your reactions and behaviours. Although in order to do that she needs to know you pretty well, because she can only base that on things you tell her.

I hope you will start to feel that therapy is at least doing something for you, soon.

[CrimsonBlues]

Hello penguin-

I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time. I agree with the other people on this thread in that the beginning of therapy can be particularly painful as the healing process begins and you're focusing on many painful thoughts and feelings. It's also true that it requires a lot of work, a lot effort to go through this process. But what you are describing could also be an indication that you are with a therapist or social worker who doesn't have the ability to be helpful to you-maybe lack of appropriate training, maybe the wrong fit. I highly recommend that you talk to the therapist about what you've written here-if you feel comfortable enough to do that. The therapist should not respond in a defensive way but should be able to listen to your concerns and then talk it out. Yes, I think it's a good idea to give it some time but if you feel that you are doing your part but not getting the feeling that anything productive is happening, week after week, I would consider the possibility that you're with the wrong therapist for you. I also recommend that you listen to your inner instincts. Many times there will be a voice inside that tells us something doesn't seem right in our surroundings. I wish you well.

[anilam]

After nearly 7 yr of what I think it's good enough therapy I'm yet to hear anything close to profound from my T...
That being said, my T never made me feel dirty- though I felt that way (esp when disclosing my past), he somehow lessened it. SW here can't do proper therapy just CBT courses (all about learning skills). I did CBT when hospitalised hated it. If I were you I'd try different T/school.

[penguinh]

Thanks everybody for the feedback and advice!
I guess I will hang in a bit longer. Even though I haven't been finding therapy 100% helpful, I find myself desperate for an appointment each week- it's better than nothing.

Thinking about it, maybe my SW is going a bit slow since she knows that the reason my last psychologist and I didn't work out was because I felt like he was pushing me too much. Now I feel like she's not pushing me enough It might also be the fact that I've been a bit resistant with the relaxation methods she showed me.
Thanks again for the insight!

[archipelago]

I have also had a feeling that CBT wasn't right for me, though I didn't really do it long. I do more depth therapy and it is more satisfying to me. I want to dig deep and also just talk. I don't really want to focus only on the present and learn skills either. I want to be deeply understood and so I chose a depth therapy approach. Not suggesting that you do the same, just my own response to what I did when I felt that way about therapy not really working for me.

[penguinh]

Originally Posted by archipelago

I have also had a feeling that CBT wasn't right for me, though I didn't really do it long. I do more depth therapy and it is more satisfying to me. I want to dig deep and also just talk. I don't really want to focus only on the present and learn skills either. I want to be deeply understood and so I chose a depth therapy approach. Not suggesting that you do the same, just my own response to what I did when I felt that way about therapy not really working for me.

What did you do in CBT though?

[archipelago]

It was all present tense, no exploration of my past. It was about cognitive distortions and changing the way you think in order to change the way you feel. But I don't believe in that. I believe emotions come first and are not caused by cognitions so I think the whole theory behind it is backwards. I only was exposed about 3 times. It felt like it was blaming the victim in my case so I felt worse not better.