my perceptions of people

this is what we worked on in therapy today. I don't know what to think about all this but I am going to try and keep an open mind . she told me that she would guess that my feelings that people disliking me is often my perception. but she didn't make me feel judged about that at all and I am thankful for that .I just wish that I could automatically see things her way. she just seems to see thing so differentially .people don't seem to bother her. what she says always seems so clear and even if I wanted to say something it seems to just be a jumbled mess in my head. she ant seem to see things how I see them and I cant seem to tell her . but today at least I seem to feel she did want to work with me around this. but she still has not told me how I can change how I perceive things .

she said that she is not surprised at how I am seeing things with the kind of childhood I had and my experience with people but that I cant let the mother color my whole world like I am .HOW do I stop??it does not seem all that possible. so much is going through my head. how many people have hurt me and betrayed me in my life . it was not like a poor me thing but more of a this is how I know things .this is how things are . have you ever felt that things are all you ever know and that just cant be changed .it is who you are. this is how I feel .it is who I am and it ant be changed

I know exactly what you mean, and I know I've changed that about myself, so that it can be done. I've opened up to letting other people show and tell me what they think, instead of living in fear of them or pre-judging them. It was time consuming, it took work. I am glad I did that. I feel a lot better about the world in general than I used to- I don't pretend everyone is a saint or there are not horrible things happening, but I get a lot more out of my interactions with people, I'm less scared and I am more realistic.

It doesn't happen overnight, but there are ways to consciously sort out your perceptions and see if they're really working for you, and then change them if you want to. Hopefully your T can give you some concrete, gradual help on this.

Remember Dr Wayne Dwyer or Dyer, he was the Dr Phil of the 1970's. He wrote a book called Erroneous Zobes. I will never forget one line in it, he says some people just say "well thats just the way i am" and never even try to change and i got this picture in my mind of some big ol cigar smokin guy. Also my first ex-h. Its like theyre so sure theyre RIGHT. Very close minded. That to me does NOT describe you. You let the light in to look at things differently. It just takes time and work.

I have trouble with some of what you mentioned as well ... I really hope your T can find ways to keep working on this with you

I understand the automatic thoughts thing... when we know that something is a certain way we just know it, it is hard to just reason it away! I had a sudden shift in my thinking about a year ago, so I know it can happen. I think it's important to work through the thoughts more than once. It's about pathways in the brain, and like other paths I guess it takes more than a single stroll to create a new path. At least that's how I imagine it works.

(((granite)))

It takes time, and lots of reminders, but you will get there.
People aren't all bad, I promise. Yes there are many bad people, and unfortunately you've had too many of them in your life, but there are way more good people. People like you Granite, believe it or not!