[cka87]

so I have a question for you guys. I started seeing my T last march 2012. I like her and thought we connected, ah that is I felt fairly comfortable with her...although very uncomfortable with therapy in general because it's hard.

anyways, I was seeing her for an eating disorder and long story short I sent an email last week (as is our way) and told her I wasnt sure I wanted to keep coming to therapy right now because I was having a hard time giving up my ED and I wasn't sure what to do. So she emailed back and said "let me know when you're ready, I know you have the ability but you have to really want to give it up. should we look at a more intensive treatment center?" I told her I didn't want to see someone else and asked if I could come back in the future and told her I was sorry and thanks for helping me.

then she never wrote back. I feel pretty awful and alone for doing this to myself, like a failure for not being able to recover, and overall ******. my question is , is this all my fault? I feel so awful, did I go wrong ? did I say something stupid ?

[stopdog]

Is it possible it is just because of the holidays that you have not heard back? Or could you just directly try to set up an appointment with her?

[Leah123]

I don't think it will help for us or for you to judge yourself. What I'm hearing is you are struggling and scared to keep pushing through therapy and giving up on the ED. That push and pull seems to happen to everyone I know engaged in therapy. I don't think you've ruined anything though.

Do what you need to help yourself- call your therapist back, many people have done it to her before if she has been practicing for any length of time, it's alright. If you do need another resource instead of her, and you're sure of that, maybe she can still help you- my only suggestion is just to move forward, take action for yourself.

As long as you keep trying you're no failure.

My current motto for myself is "Try. Fail. Try again, fail better." Sometimes... that's how it is, but all the trying is progress.

[Canyon]

I think that you don't need to fault yourself or anyone at this time . You are where you are. Give yourself permission to find your way.

I think maybe she didn't email back because she wants you to come to the decision to come back on your own, and to do it for yourself, not her. That way you and her both will know that you are ready to proceed.

[unaluna]

Are you asking, why hasnt she written back - is it because you did something wrong? I dont think so. It seems to me like you thanked her for her help, and you will contact her when you are ready. I don't think she wants to get into a back-and-forth emailing situation - t's usually don't. Usually they ask if you want to come in for a "final" session, but that doesnt seem applicable here - it seems more like you just want a break?

[Rapunzel]

It sounds like you told her that you want a break and will contact her when you are ready, and she is honoring your expressed preference. The ball is in your court. Therapists are not supposed to chase you down and keep you in therapy if you don't want to be. I'm sure that if you write again and ask to go back, she will welcome you back.

[cka87]

thanks, I guess I just worried I did something wrong but what y'all are saying makes sense.

[Lauliza]

Please don't blame yourself for anything - you did nothing wrong. You simply told your T that you don't want to continue therapy and you'd contact her if you needed to. T's aren't supposed to pressure you to continue therapy if you want to end it, any thing further should be initiated by the client. So there should be no problem with you calling and asking to see her again.