[purplemystery]

Usually I wear very neutral, non-attention-grabbing clothing to therapy, with dark colors and jeans. Maybe it's because when I wear what would be considered fashionable, even though I may like it, I feel as if I'm an imposter and as though it doesn't fit with my identity. I guess I fear wearing a more fashionable outfit to therapy and then finding that my T is surprised or that she'll think of me as a different person from what she has seen before.

I recently stumbled across an article from a therapist talking about how she believes that what clients wear to therapy tells a lot about them: who they are, what they hope to be, and what they feel on a given day. It kind of freaks me out that my T probably notices what I wear and I wonder what my clothing choices say to my T. Maybe that I'm trying not to be noticed.

In therapy, I tend to be extremely self-conscious about how I look, and it sometimes influences me to actively avoid eye contact. Though in real life I wouldn't say I have significant body image issues and I've never discussed body image before with my T. Recently I braved wearing boots, and she complimented me on them. It was the first compliment she ever really gave me, and I wonder if she said it to "reward" me for showing personality in the way I dress. Or maybe I'm thinking way too much into it.

Does anyone else feel increased self-consciousness about their appearance in therapy? How do you dress when you see your T, and do you think it says anything noteworthy about you?

[stopdog]

Can you link the article?

I wear jeans or khakis and a button down oxford shirt and tennis shoes usually. Sometimes if I have been in court or have to go teach I will be a bit more businessy but I usually arrange my time so that does not happen much.

I don't pay much attention to clothes one way or the other and I usually go for comfortableness. I don't usually consider what the therapist might think of my attire.

I assume it says middle aged lesbian of the non-lipstick variety.

I go directly from work to therapy, so my clothing choice has nothing to do with therapy or even personal choice particularly. It is about meeting the dress code at work.

[Hoppery]

I wore my usual casual stuff last time but this time, I'm going to wear some grey walking trousers, black trainers, a pale colourful checked shirt and a green hoody. So while it's still casual, it's just a little bit different from what I usually wear. I'm wearing this for comfort though, not for preference since I'll be in there for 2 hours!

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Can you link the article?

Sure, it's a little blurb from a book review: Nina Garcia Goes to Therapy: Projective Runway | Psychology Today.

What I was talking about is in the second to last paragraph, though earlier in the article she also talks about how clients might perceive a T's clothing too.

Like Chris, I wear what I wear to work, which means jeans and a shirt, sweater or T-shirt. I've mentioned this before, but sometimes I pick a T-shirt with a message that's relevant, and once or twice, T has mentioned that. It is extremely rare that T mentions my clothing and I doubt he pays much attention to it, since he knows that I have no interest in clothes and have no sense of what fits together, or what suits me. I buy new clothes only when I really have to.

[rainboots87]

I usually like to dress up a little. I've found that when I'm depressed, it can lift my mood to look nice. Plus, I find it fun to wear cute boots or a pretty dress, etc. I know that one day I was super depressed and anxious and tried to cancel therapy and seeing my dietitian, so (after convincing) I showed up in a random t-shirt I slept in and running shorts- so I bet that communicated my mood very much. Even when I wear workout clothes, I try to wear something cute. Part of it is trying to look my age a little more- I can be mistaken for a teenager instead of my mid 20s, closer to 30 than 20 age, when I dress too casual and am not made up.

[Asiablue]

With my first therapist, i would get so nervous about what to wear, always had to wear something new. I'm now onto my 3rd therapist and i generally have apathy about what to wear, i couldn't care less, dunno if it's a stage or like some message about how i feel about therapy. I actively choose dressed down stuff, jeans and a jumper or cardigan. Part comfort, part CBA

[purplemystery]

Thanks guys, I'm probably thinking too much into it (which I can do a lot). My T is unmaterialistic, and she might not really think about it much. But I do know that I am afraid to show my real personality with my T, so this is probably another example of that. In some instances, it seems like clothing might say something about our thoughts about therapy. It is kind of like information that we are giving our Ts. But other times, it's probably not significant. I'd still be afraid to ask my T if she has thought about it though, haha.

[sweepy62]

I usually wear jeans sneakers and dark or black blouses, solid colors, she dresses casual but very fashionable. I really do need a new pair of sneakers, I do have boots, but she never seen me in them, and I dont want her to notice any changes.

[~EnlightenMe~]

I usually wear a sweater and jeans, usually whatever I wear to work.

[likelife]

My T complimented me on my boots recently too

I see T on my day off, and am typically too lazy to get dressed up very much. Which means I often go in jeans and a t-shirt or sweater. I feel mixed about fashion in general. For the most part, I don't really care what I wear, and would probably wear the same thing every day (clean, of course) if it were socially acceptable. But sometimes I feel pressured indirectly by the people I associate with - some of my friends and definitely other parents at my kids' schools - to be more "with it" in terms of fashion.

I don't think my T really cares what I wear. And if she does, I'll try to convince myself that I don't care that she cares Interestingly, she commented on what she was wearing one day, saying it was her "casual, errand running outfit," because she wasn't seeing many clients that day. Must have been close to a holiday or something. I hadn't noticed anything different about how she was dressed.

[AllyIsHopeful]

I feel the need to be super presentable at my appointments. My T is very fashionable and always very pretty in heals and jewelry. I feel out of place if I don't look good, which makes me self conscious.
When I first started T I was always just in sweats or something oversized...anything to hide myself and not draw any attention.

She called me beautiful since the day she met me and still does today and it's healing. (My personal poor self esteem comes from my mom and she is my moms age) And she had seen me at my absolute worst.
Even though she says all of this and compliments something on me I still feel shy about my appearance.

It almost feels like the compliments give me a subconscious obligation to look even better the next session and it starts getting stressful...

-Hope

[PeeJay]

I wear mascara everywhere but to therapy. It's such a relief to cry and not have my hands and tissues covered in black.

As far as clothing, I wear whatever I'd wear on the weekend hanging out in the city. I don't wear business attire, as that kind of outfit puts me in work mode and the work version of myself is all business and not emotional at all.

My T never comments on my clothing. I do compliment her on her outfits when they are bright or cheerful. She barely even acknowledges my compliments! She's her own person and not all that concerened with appearances, I think.

I saw how she evaluated me on my intake form. It said, "Well groomed." The only other options were disheveled and something else indicating that I couldn't brush my teeth or something. I think that the bar for "well groomed" is probably pretty low.

Well right now t and i are just on the phone or skype since she is still out of the country so i pay no attention to what i wear-- usually i am in my pajamas when we talk.

When we are in person, i dont wear anything special either. Usually just whatever i had on from work that day. Or just somethng comfortable. I am not tryng to make a fashion statement or try to say anything with my clothes. Just wanting comfort

[RTerroni]

I do sometimes were certain shirts when I go to session (at least have done in the past) in order to get a certain reaction from the Therapist and even to drop in some clues about me (I mentioned this to my last Therapist).

I am actually already trying to decide on what to wear at the Intake Appointment next Monday at the new practice I will be going to.

When I was in therapy he told me I wore dumpy clothes. I wasn't trying to be dumpy.

[Rose76]

I don't see a T anymore, but I do see my pdoc fairly often. Usually, I kind of look a disheveled because I'm just not that in to my appearance anymore . . . maybe due to being depressed the past 3 years.

Well, one day I did go in looking kind of sharp, with my hair fixed nice, and make-up on, and wearing some nice clothes. My pdoc was just tickled to death and thought this represented a great break through on my part. It didn't really. But that's what he thought. He was all smiles.

I think he's starting to maybe realize that I just don't care that much about appearance. I never did, except going to work, or to a special social occasion. I guess I would have to agree that it probably is a sign of a lack of interest in life.

T told me I wear interesting clothes, I didn't know if I should be offended or take it as a compliment. I try to look my best and hide how I really feel. T always coments on what I wear- always positive but she says it can say a lot about a client and how they are feeling, especially the colours of their clothes.

[ScarletPimpernel]

The way I dress for everyday life is the same for therapy.

But I am actually conscious of what I'm wearing and why. Most of my clothes are simple, no embellishments, and black. I feel comfortable in black. Kind of makes me feel invisible. I have been told though that it actually makes me stand out since most people wear neutrals or colors. I have finally added some color to my wardrobe, but I only wear color when I'm feeling decent...but of course I still pair it with something black I am also always covered up: long pants, long sleeves. Just prefer it that way.

I honestly don't care what my T or other people think about how I dress. I care that I am clean and look somewhat put together...but beyond that...doesn't matter.

[stopdog]

The therapist has only mentioned clothes once and it was because I wore a suit. I think I let it be known we were not going to discuss how I dress and she has never mentioned it again.

[purplemystery]

(from Rose76): I think he's starting to maybe realize that I just don't care that much about appearance. I never did, except going to work, or to a special social occasion. I guess I would have to agree that it probably is a sign of a lack of interest in life

.

I think that's an interesting theory, thanks for that. I've read somewhere that when you wear clothes that you like, it will influence you to feel good about yourself. So maybe those that feel good about themselves believe that it's worth the time and effort for their appearance? Of course, that's an overgeneralization. It's probably true for me somewhat though, as I've begun to care less about my appearance this past year and actually started wearing less interesting things to therapy than I used to. It worries me that my T may notice this about me because it's kind of a sensitive issue- my family has been pressuring me to be in a relationship, and my father sometimes comments on my weight in a negative way as if to insinuate that is why I haven't found someone, even though I'm a healthy weight.

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by Hopelessly Hopeful

I feel the need to be super presentable at my appointments. My T is very fashionable and always very pretty in heals and jewelry. I feel out of place if I don't look good, which makes me self conscious.
When I first started T I was always just in sweats or something oversized...anything to hide myself and not draw any attention.

She called me beautiful since the day she met me and still does today and it's healing. (My personal poor self esteem comes from my mom and she is my moms age) And she had seen me at my absolute worst.
Even though she says all of this and compliments something on me I still feel shy about my appearance.

It almost feels like the compliments give me a subconscious obligation to look even better the next session and it starts getting stressful...

-Hope

If my T was super fashionable, that would make me even more self-conscious. I can see why her compliments would make you feel like you needed to continually earn what she's saying. I'm glad it's a little healing anyway though.

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by roseleigh7

When I was in therapy he told me I wore dumpy clothes. I wasn't trying to be dumpy.

Wow, that's really harsh. Sorry this happened to you.

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

I do have boots, but she never seen me in them, and I dont want her to notice any changes.

Interesting, that's sort of what it's like for me too. I don't want anything to be jarring from the routine, and maybe it is somewhat to do with me not wanting her to think I'm completely okay? It sounds like a weird reason, but it could be a subconscious thing.