The most insensitive thing your t has said

Someone, this is the most horrifyingly hurtful and ignorant thing I have ever heard.

You think so? Actually till today I haven't thought about it... Maybe then I should bring it to the next session? but actually he's right as according to the law I don't "fulfill the requirements" for the definition...

I can't speak to the law where you live. But were you specifically speaking about law with your T? It reads as a statement invalidating the sexual abuse of a child, casting blame, and completely non cognizant of the emotional effect of the words. I'm having difficulty imagining a conversation in which these statements would be acceptable.

I can't tell you because it was so bad. Can't imagine ever getting over it either.

I hope you don't see that person anymore.

Hmmm... No it was not in the context of law... It was in the context of memories (TRIGGER)

As I have hundreds of horrific memories I alwas thought that I remember everything but after one session I got much worse flashbacks and memories came back. Thus, at the session I said sth like I have always thought that I've never been raped (I meant no full sex) but I realized that it was not true and described few "new" memories and then my T agreed that I've never been raped but not with respect of type of sexual abuse but this what I've mentioned in previous post... So it was not with respect to law directly but it could be with respect to the correct definition, right?

Actually I do, that's my current and first T ever, so I cannot compare with other Ts if he's good or bad... He might be a bit insensitive but he's a guy

I have to wonder about a T who, as a response to an abuse memory, lapses into technical definitions of terms rather than respond to the emotional need before him.

I don't know if continuing this is a highjack of the OP's thread, especially as it is an older thread. Do you want to start a new thread about this? It sounds like it could be valuable to get wider feedback about this.

Where in earth do you live that saying something like he said to you would be considered therapeutically appropriate? Frankly, what he said strikes me as how the rapist justifies what they did by saying the victim 'wanted it' if they didn't have a gun handy yo shoot and kill their rapist... to *prove* they didn't want it. I just can't imagine someone saying something like that. It's the worst.

You're right - sorry for spamming

You're not spamming (I don't think?); I think this is important and deserves its own thread, though--if you want.

This was a ludicrous statement! Children cannot defend themselves and even some adults cannot defend themselves whether they have a weapon handy or not. So sorry you had to hear this from a T. Sounds like they traumatized you even more. Hope you are o.k. Someone 321.

"Once when my pdoc was referencing my past csa he said "if I haul off and slap you across the face and it hurts you right now, that is my fault for hurting you. If that slap in the face still hurts 20 years from now, that is your fault and is on you."

You know? That's harsh. It's harsh and it's pointed, but ultimately? He's right. This is why we do therapy. We have a tendency to hold onto hurt, which really just means we're hurting ourselves.

That was really inappropriate as well. I do not think he was right; I assume that it was some kind of technique he used, but I don't think it's appropriate to try and make a client feel ashamed about their emotions in order to stop them from feeling that way. Work together to understand why the slap still hurts, and get you away from the hurt, yes. But assigning blame and shaming you? Not so much.

This week the woman, after I mentioned some small odd but not unheard of, thing my pet was doing, asked me if I thought he had a life threatening situation I had not thought of and is not particularly likely, but freaked me out. She tried to back pedal, but you cannot unring that kind of bell.

On 9/11/13 (Wed), my MIL died. Her visitation was scheduled for 9/14 (Sat) and the funeral was scheduled for 9/15 (Sun). It is of note that my H and his sister were horribly abused/neglected by my MIL. At my session 9/12 (Thu), T and I discussed the death, the implications of my H being administrator of the estate, and her surprise that my H and his sister were even carrying out her wishes for the funeral. This was 45 min of the 60 min session. I then asked T about her daughter's wedding plans (she was getting married 9/21). T went on about that for 10 min or so. Then she looked at me and said:

"I really hope you have a good weekend. Yours will have to be better than mine. I have to cut out hundreds of little tiny squares of burlap and glue them on to *something*."

I looked at her like this: and said, "REALLY, T?" She replied, "What?" I said, "Stop for a second and realize what you just said to me." She realized what she did and apologized profusely.

I told H and he asked me to deliver a message to T next session (which I did, verbatim): "f**k you AND your burlap". Then it was her turn to go . I actually kind of enjoyed it.

(((For Canyon)))

If you slap me and hurt me, you abused me. It does not change twenty years later. You are still the abuser. You may no longer be in my life, but you are not off the hook for abusing me just because time has passed.

"You're not helping yourself, and I'm not going to help you either. It's your job to figure it out."

Time does not absolve people of guilt.

I was talking about rape that happened when I was 6 years old....I never told anyone before and I was shaking like crazy.

My T´s first words: " Did it hurt?"

Seriously? Why would she even ask that? Isn´t that so obvious?

I realized how upset I was about this question later.... I also had my worst panic attack ever until the next day and she did not warn me it could happen or tell me how to cope better or what to do. I felt so lost and alone.

another T:
told me my potential children might carry burden too big...after seeing me for a short time and not knowing me enough. It really hurt because I am really trying to do everything I can to be a good mum one day.

I don't think my T has said anything insensitive as such but just last week I told her about my suicidal thoughts and she said " I think if you were to kill yourself you would of done so already" I then said "well I am at breaking point" and explained that things were getting worse, I think she then understood but I felt as if she was brushing off my feelings.