[sweepy62]

Yesterday I met the new t, in my first transition phase, of course my current t was present, I know I am whining about the same thing, and for that I apologize, but I need to vent through here.

I usually go by first impressions in therapy and in real life, and I know its not good sometimes, but I am working on it. When I met t1, after the end of session or even 15 minutes of checking her out and getting a feel for her, I felt some sort of connection or something pleasant going on, something that told me ok, I can come back next week.

With t 2, although I was sad about t1, after my first session with t2 I also felt a connection, I felt it was going to be alright, I felt a sense of safety, and she asked if I will see her next week, and I said yes, I was comfortable with it, yet still missing t1.

With t3 after spending a whole session with her and my current t , and with the new t interacting with me, and telling me everything was going to be ok, and that she was looking foward to working with me. I just didnt feel a damn thing, I even looked at her in the eyes for a moment, to see if i needed to do that to find a brief connection.

I felt no connection, she seems so soft spoken and gentle, I just dont know. I will be fair, and evaluate the session more when we are both together alone, maybe she has another style in her own office by herself, I surely hope so. I find myself to be not liking the to soft spoken gentle smiley type of therapist.

I like a real person of course supportive humorous and just to tell it like it is, withing boundaries, yet caring and nurturing.

[Raging Quiet]

Sometimes it takes a while for you to make a connection, you may feel better after your next session with her.

[Canyon]

I don't tend to go by first impressions because it is just a glimpse of the person. That, and if I did that I would never go back for a 2nd visit.

The best pdoc I ever had was one that I got into yelling matches with on a regular basis in the beginning. He turned out to be the best help I ever had.

[A Red Panda]

I acknowledge my gut instincts about someone. Usually I'm right. But I give things a chance before solidifying my opinion, just in case I am wrong.

[Asiablue]

I ignored my gut instinct about my last T. I wasted 7 months with her trying to find some semblance of warmth and it just never happened. I liked her and she was good at her job but just too clinical for me.

So your gut instinct is giving you important information but you sound like you were quite closed down in that session, plus having two therapists in the same room plus the sadness you have about T leaving is a lot of information swirling around, so i'd definitely give this new T a few session where it's just you and her to get a proper feel for things.

Wasn't your current T in the room with the two of you? If so, it is very possible that had a strong impact on your ability to feel any sort of connection with the new T. I sort of wondered if her being present had the potential to actually keep those barriers up. It would for me. In fact, it would seem very awkward. Like: who's the T here, I want my T to protect me from that stranger, I have to remain loyal to my real T.

But neutral isn't a bad thing. Most people don't connect on first sight. Relationships take time to grow, and they don't usually happen in groups. They usually need one-on-one time to start building that connection and intimacy.

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by Raging Quiet

Sometimes it takes a while for you to make a connection, you may feel better after your next session with her.

I wanted to agree with RQ. My current T, I wasn't really sure about him for the first few sessions because he seemed "slow". What I realized was that he was genuinely taking the time to consider the questions I presented or taking the time to digest what I had shared before responding. Had I not waited it out, I never would have known and would have waiting out on the best T-relationship I've had.

You were in a really awkward position in the first place, with two T's in a room!

[sweepy62]

Yes my t was in the room with me the whole time, so I felt she was protecting me. Next week its just me and my t and I, then jan 30th it will be the new t myself and my t, but my t will only stay for 15 minutes, then I will be alone for the rest of the session with new t.