[Faith_walk]

Does anyone else question themselves and what is normal a lot? I have to ask my husband if he thinks things are OK or normal or ask my T if something is OK or normal.

Like yesterday I took a walk and was praying and thinking about life in general and stopped to study nature a bit and think about things. I was down even looking at the ants working and thinking about how small they are and how small we are in the world, etc. . .

It was relaxing but after I thought. . .that was sort of weird and asked hubby.

He had been with our Pastor talking about prayer and in fact pastor had told him to go for a walk in the woods where it's quiet and study nature and pray. It was ironic I was doing that at that same time. . .

But I digress. . .

Why is it that I question everything and if it's "Normal" all the time.

I have this fear of being "crazy" or "mentally ill" and someone once told me that as long as you are worried about it you're probably fine because people with psychosis generally think that things that they are doing, even if they are not normal. . .think that it's fine. So maybe I think if I question everything that means I'm really OK?

Can anyone relate to this?

[Perna]

I like the newer one-liner, "Normal is a setting on the washing machine."

Everyone has their own idea of what "normal" is so you're actually just questioning yourself and your ideas of whether you match some "list" you have made up. It's like people who look for the "ideal" mate rather than taking each person as they come along and learning about that person as that person is. Get to know and like yourself as you are instead of trying to match something arbitrary outside you? One of the first things I did that I really liked was to begin ignoring my symptoms as they're only symptoms, not the "problem" itself. I started looking for and paying attention to the larger problems instead of just how I was coping with them and that got rid of the need to "cope"/the symptoms and then I didn't feel so weird anymore.

[complic8d]

faith_tx! I do that all the time! I ask my husband, "do you think like this?", or "is this how I should feel?", or "is how I'm feeling ok?" I thought I might be the only one, but I guess not. I just want to feel/be "normal" even though I cognitively know that there is no normal. I guess when you go to therapy and "learn" that how you think isn't "right", (like cognitive distortions), then you start questioning what is "right".
Well, I don't know how to stop doing this, maybe someday I'll just feel "normal" and quit questioning it. Good luck to you and know you're not alone.
HUGS!

[kimmydawn]

I don't believe in the word "normal" actually. I believe that normal is a perception that varies with every individual...my normal isn't your normal, normal for 19 isn't normal for 45, etc.

T and I talked about that alot. I believe in "average" for sure and that's what I would then use in my therapy. I would then ask, "what is average?" T could much more easily define that for me as far as thinking, etc.

I wish you well.

KD

[okiedokie]

Hi there,
I further like to define "normal" in terms of how society defines it -- a "societal norm" if you will. Aside from the semantics, I do often reassure myself that I'm staying WNL (within normal limits.) I guess that stems from a time years ago when I was severely depressed and thought I was thinking and behaving "normally" when in fact I wasn't. Very scary stuff. I hope to never have to experience that again. Take care,
Okie

"normal" is elusive. "normal" is a range, not a specific spot.
like "happiness".....

One of my favorite quotes is:
" 'NORMAL' is just a setting on a dryer"

LOL

I think it is really good, and interesting, to question and explore ideas and thoughts, but please don't judge them by using words like normal.

[Faith_walk]

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okiedokie said:
Hi there,
I further like to define "normal" in terms of how society defines it -- a "societal norm" if you will. Aside from the semantics, I do often reassure myself that I'm staying WNL (within normal limits.) I guess that stems from a time years ago when I was severely depressed and thought I was thinking and behaving "normally" when in fact I wasn't. Very scary stuff. I hope to never have to experience that again. Take care,
Okie

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See this is what my fear is. That suddenly I'll be acting "crazy" and not realize it.

Or anything. . . I sing at church and sometimes I worry that I sound terrible but everyone is too polite to tell me. So I made my pastor promise to tell me. Because there's this one lady that plays piano and he told me she sounds awful so he wants me to sing with her to blend better. and I'm like. . .what are you saying about me?

I just worry that I'm goign to start doing something that I think is fine and then go off the "deep end" because whatever thought pattern or habits I'm into. . .I tend to take things to extremes, so that's my concern. I don't do things half way and people that know me know I get obsessed with stuff.

So I worry that suddenly I'm going to start acting extremely strange and then not realize it so anything I do or feel something different, I have to check to make sure it's OK.

This is something I DEFINITELY need to work out with my T this next few months (or weeks?)