Dear T: I need to tell you something but I don't know how Part IX

T,
I hope you are not worried that I do not write anything to you? I got so much positive energy during our last session that I just do not feel the need to write - I feel good and calm... And of course it is not extremely easy, as I am at home and one of my abusers is flirting with me as always but I'll be fine

Dear T's,

I am either setting myself up, for success here, or lining up quite a reference.
I've outed my September trial purpose, to my sons' principal. Which means....murmuring

-Me

Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2

I am so in love with you now

Will I ever stop missing you?

T
even tho i texted u this and u responded but im so happy we are geting good work done and that u said u wont abandon me or stop caring even tho u get frustrated at me. that meant a lot to me. u mean a lot to me. thank u for always supporting me

me

T, your voicemail meant the world to me. You have no idea!

Dear T,

Thank you so much. I literally cried and cried and cried and hurt so bad inside and yet you made it so that once I allowed myself that moment I was able to feel calm, supported and most importantly, safe. You're so awesome in so many ways. Thank you.

Dear T

You've broken my heart.

There's so much I want to tell you on Tuesday but I'm not sure you want to hear about it.

Dear Hero-T,
I didn't know it was possible but I am so angry with you. Yep, you heard me! I am furious! What were you thinking??
Amelia

Sent from LifeTab with Tapatalk

Dear T,

I've been hurt really, really, bad by someone close. I mean I literally could barely function because of what was done to me. This person turned their back on me when I needed an explanation for what they had done. Now I think, but I'm not sure, that they may be ready to apologize. Do you think I should listen to what they have to say? I don't know why they would be apologizing now? I mean do you think they "suddenly" found empathy? Do you think they suddenly came to realize what they did was wrong? Do you think this person didn't know the impact of what they had done to me, let's say 2 years ago? I'm suspicious. I still don't think they really understand or even care about what was done to me. I can't understand people who have no conscience.

I hate the waiting game between the time I send you a text and you respond. I feel lonely right now because of the holidays and no family to spend them with. And so I wanted to just hear something from you. And so far, I have nothing.

Same here about the holidays - tons of hugs to you, if wanted..

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Dear T,

You've made it clear to me that another client takes preference over me, even though I was first in line. Don't see how you could ever explain that one.

Dear T, what a big smile! I didn't expect you to be so happy to hear I felt well after eating, I thought it was just an ordinary thing. I found it so sweet of you that I almost wanted to hug you for the first time, lol.
I hate having to cut our sessions and not having the next session booked. It feels like losing my safe place. I want to cry.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Same here - I feel so incredibly alone.

No all is not well. I'm going to die of frustration.

I really resent being relegated to come here when these big feelings I have for you take over and I have no outlet for them. I feel so pathetic.

Oh no what happened

You are getting smaller and smaller in my head and I think you may well disappear.

T,

I'm not sure I believe you - I mean, what are the odds? If you think you can pull one over on me you're funny....not going to happen. I have ridiculous instincts honed by years of needing to read the implicit. I'm not stupid. All I need is you to be honest. I'm exceptionally forgiving as long as one is upfront with me. It's the behind my back manipulative **** that I can smell a mile away which sets me off. You know, I like you - there's no need to tip toe around me. Seriously, T - I think you should know that by now /:

Or maybe you're too suspicious and not trusting?

Maybe - but this is what I feel right now. And I'm sorry, but you don't really know much of what happened since I was pretty vague so...not really sure how you could know either way.

YT,

I miss you.

I don't. That's why I said maybe. But I know I can be suspicious of people for no reason, and so I was wondering if that was a possibility.

Of course, that's always a possibility and one which I have considered. I write on this particular thread for my own piece of mind and not for feedback.