There is room for everybody on Couch 72

I was typing this on my phone so it's actually strange that I didn't make more typos...

(((Jersey))) hope it went well.

Hello, Mastodon. So did you leave the letter just before you left his office or did he read it while you were there?

I handed it over to him first thing. He read it, he said that he understood what I meant, and that he thought I'd provided a lot of the answers to my questions, and then he asked whether I had hoped for some particular reaction from him. It took me about five minutes to tell him that yes, I had hoped for him to be curious about some of the things I wrote, but that he was probably waiting for me to bring them up myself. So he picked it up again and mentioned one of the things I'd hoped that he would ask about. And we spent the rest of the session talking about that subject and various related things.

It was good, I think. It went well. I just felt when I had to leave that I was finally getting somewhere with this subject and I wanted to go on talking. (Which is so much better than leaving with the feeling that nothing's happening!)

How are you feeling, neutrino? Since you saw your T yesterday I assume you're not as sick as you feared?

Good to hear it worked out well! Also glad to hear you feel like you're making some sort of progress.

I'm ok, thanks. Very tired though (sleepy + still not feeling great). I felt ok enough to see my therapist yesterday, yes. I had no fever by then and I hadn't cancelled the appointment so I went there and it was fine (even though I sat there coughing quite a bit).

And I know CE was in that list when I wrote it. My phone ate CE. Stupid phone.

ok, I'm too whimsical to be here, I think. Perhaps I'll make some tea. I'm glad you're feeling better, neutrino.

I thought: she wouldn't have left me out on purpose. So I considered myself helloed.

Thanks so much for your 'hello' Mast!

I'm also feeling hungover from T today. Had a really intense session which was weird as I wasn't expecting it to go that way but I left feeling emotionally and physically exhausted and drained with the worst headache now that I've had in ages! I feel I have made a big breakthrough with my T. It felt like we really connected today. I desperately want this to continue next week. I can't imagine life without her which is really really scary. Financially I can't go on forever paying her weekly like this - that really frightens me as I don't feel ready to say goodbye. I feel blessed to have her in my life and totally freaked out that it is only dependent on me paying her to listen to me.

RTS and Mast,

Thanks for asking. The appt. went well. I really felt heard and had my fair share of time to talk. I spoke of my discomfort with going on meds and all the side effects I read of said meds. She said side effects differ with each individual. She heard me out on what worked in the past. I came out with Klonopin ( 1 milligram to be taken 3 times a day) This med works within an hour to calm my body down. It's a benzo). The other med is Effexor. 37.5 milligrams. I take one of those a day for the first week then the second week I start taking 2 of them a day. This med will work to help bring down anxiety and help with mood and the racing jumbled thoughts I have. That med takes a few weeks to kick in. The side effects of coming off that med are horrible but when that time comes, we can medicate me with something else to help with the withdrawal symptoms. My next appt. is in 30 days to determine if adjustments are needed or if we need to add something else.

I went to T straight after and felt disconnected. She's been slacking on texts a bit and just generally seems off a bit. Last time this happened her dad was dying. But I didn't know until after he died. So I hope it's nothing big. I may ask her next time I text if she's ok.

Reminds me of "Sweet Home Alabama", when the little girl asks the little boy why he would want to marry her. He says, "So I can kiss you anytime I want."

And I love your little granddaughter, already setting appropriate boundaries.

I enjoy hearing stories of others' grandkids and kids. My son is going to be 28 next week, and is deaf and has multiple disabilities, and he has grown into a (usually) sweet, considerate, young man. He signs "I love you", but doesn't speak. My daughter, on the other hand, stopped all contact with me almost 7 years ago, and my ex-H is part of the problem there.

The limited relationship I have with my son, and lack with my daughter, makes me appreciate even more when others have good interactions with their kids. It makes me feel happy for you, Wiki.

It does sound like the appointment went well. I like that she listened, and that you know what each med is supposed to do. And I'm sure if things need to be re-evaluated before 30 days (like if you have unbearable side effects or something), that she will be open to hearing from you. I hope the meds are helpful. Hope things get figured out with T, also.

Thanks Tametc. Your always so responsive and supportive.

CE, Jim Crow laws in the southern US, Brown vs. BOE Topeka and Brown 2. I'm just catching up from a few days ago.

Hi Mast thanks for remembering me. Just really struggling at the moment. A bit confused about what my T is doing. I really feel I need to see him more to get the connection going but he said he wasn't going to make space for me this week. I wonder if he's trying to force me to "stew in my own juices" so I am a bit more forthcoming? It appears to be working. At the same time I feel a little neglected and not "special enough"

Hi Ike
Hows things?

I'm OK. Work is difficult. We really need to terminate a lady who may have a brain tumor. I know that sounds strange, but she says she has a tumor, but we don't have any DR. notices to verify. I'm being held accountable for her poor performance(as her manager), but they are scared to terminate because of possible litigation.

I've been calling to find a PDOC and have had some resistance; not accepting new patients or need a referral? One PDOC referred me to someone a half hour away. Hell with that.

Sorry to hear you're struggling. Sidetrack, don't you just hate when people write your and mean you're?

Didn't mean to elaborate. I'm doing well.

Hi Murray. I see you.

I used to be a grammar prude but have better things to obssess about. Anyway sometimes my spelling and grammar isn't too crash-hot.

Hope you find a pdoc soon. Is half an hour really that bad?

If the lady can produce a drs letter can you downgrde her duties? I don't know what you do industry-wise.

It is if you try to fit it in your work day and only get an hour for lunch. The PDOC I called is 2 minutes from my office. I know, that's a helluva way to pick a DR.

Nice to see you Ike, haven't seen you on the couch in a while.

I've only got two people, nowhere to go in my dept(credit/accounts receivable). I told the HR person I would sign off on a transfer to HR.

Hi RT. I've been on sabbatical. Thanks for the shout out. Going to see my old college buds this weekend. My old roommate is into cars. His garage is always an adventure. Always a couple of 4RI's or Porsche's. I'll try to post pics if I'm sober enough.

Hope you are doing OK.

Thanks. Im gonna get them tomorrow, i hope. I went for a hair color and cut after the dermatologist. I have never looked this cute. It looks like a hair magazine picture, even with my tired sad old face. Its a couple of shades of red, and straight, and shaved around the bottom. T is gonna flip. I was freaking out, going omg over and over again. Now i have to live up to my hair! But ive finally achieved me, hair-wise, is what it feels like.

I hate being left to stew.
Do you want to call him on that?

I've thought about it. Would it help? How would i approachh it? idk really