[ResaLock]

Why am I posting this in here??? I have no idea. Out of some of the things I have read... I said, "WHY NOT" This is just crazy. Why keep it to myself?

As some may know I have been frustrated by the actions of my T. I have been upset about it, angry and whined much about it. LOL

As I was frustrated and really disturbed by my T and his actions. Last night I had a dream about him.

I have been fighting against him in my thoughts. I had no interest in him. Someone asked me yesterday as I am sure it was just an honest question. I had no problem with it. ...but they asked me, " Do you have romantic feelings toward your T? Of course my reply was "NOOOO", as such was my thinking, as I am greatly in opposition to him. I went through all these emotions of being upset and hating him.

Well in my dream last night. I dreamed I fell asleep with him laying next to me, with his head laying on my upper back near my head. Me sleeping on my stomach as I mostly do regularly. This is strange, because I felt a wonderful great comfort I have not felt in a long long time. I even felt good when I woke up.
Nothing else happened in the dream. That was it.

I am actually confused, but I think I shouldn't go back. I say to myself many times today in my thoughts, " THIS IS JUST CRAZY"

I keep telling myself its just an action from what was said to me, and my mind probably playing it out and getting mixed up of wanting to be comforted from this frustration of choas.

I have no interest in having thoughts or being with him and I would never think about it, and always of a mind of having respect for wives, and even more than the man. (We women got to stick together you know, especially if there in no wrong. I hold firm my beliefs on that.)

Personally this guy is just an old fart to me (excuse my expression) that I have been annoyed with...and out of all people(???) Why could I have not dreamed about some good looking hot guy all big, buff, & strong.
...and yes I still consider myself asexual. I do not have these thoughts about men at all, no matter what. The dream was not really sexual. I was just being held in MY BED...lol
by some old guy who annoys me and upsets me. While being completely comforted by him. ...err it wasn't him. Just being comforted. It just happened to be him in my dream. WHAT GIVES???

This is not a good thing!!!

[ResaLock]

I am sooo embarrassed I just posted that...but being bold to leave it there...LOL

[Leah123]

I'm probably missing subtext, but you're describing a dream where you felt comforted by your therapist and slept well.

Sounds perfectly understandable and not shameful to me: therapists are supposed to be comforting. I've had the occasional dream a little like this, just of non-events like her sitting next to me or such. I considered them gifts.

I hope things smooth out with him in real life too!

[ResaLock]

Originally Posted by Leah123

I'm probably missing subtext, but you're describing a dream where you felt comforted by your therapist and slept well.

Sounds perfectly understandable and not shameful to me: therapists are supposed to be comforting. I've had the occasional dream a little like this, just of non-events like her sitting next to me or such. I considered them gifts.

I hope things smooth out with him in real life too!

You should see my other posts I posted being upset and battling against him hating him in my thoughts and him violating my boundaries. Then this would probably be whacked out to you...I know it is to me right now. I don't know about it being a gift though...LOL

I am completely against all of this... it even is messing with my moral and spiritual boundaries.

[Leah123]

Hmmm, well, in that case, heck, it could represent you warming up to the part of yourself that reminds you of your therapist, for better or worse.

Jungian analysts believe those that we dream about are typically representations of ourselves, aspects of ourselves.

I went with a simpler interpretation because sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sounds like that may not be the case.

[always_wondering]

I am going to take a shot at this. From all my research, sounds like your T represents the support you were not given as a child.T gives you comfort like a mother should do with her child. Now the area I am really curious about is why does this comfort sometimes becomes a sexual yearning? There is a connection, what is it?

[ResaLock]

Originally Posted by always_wondering

I am going to take a shot at this. From all my research, sounds like your T represents the support you were not given as a child.T gives you comfort like a mother should do with her child. Now the area I am really curious about is why does this comfort sometimes becomes a sexual yearning? There is a connection, what is it?

Nice shot though...ummm but NO! lol

There is a lot of psychological research that is ridiculous. Especially Freudian ideologies. Where sounds very close to where your stemming your ideas from. Unfortunately I have studied him and much of so called Psychology.

My issues with him do not stem from childhood, but only what is happening now in the present. Also I am not sexual. He does not give me some long lost attention that I may not of gotten from my childhood. Its not some long lost mystery unsolved.

...next I cannot stand his superficial demeanor, which I have told him about often. I have literally and bluntly rejected some of his approaches to me. I am person who cannot stand superficial flattery. (he knows that, which I have explained to him and he does many times) I am not a person who needs to be bottle fed and nor even given a compliment.

He gives me no motherly type comfort and nothing I would never desire in a parent, spouse, or other.

YOUR WAY OFF!!! NICE TRY THOUGH... a little creepy ...but nice try...LOL
(I mean that humorously don't take it personal)

[HazelGirl]

I'm not saying this is definitely going on with you, but here's something for thought.

There's a defense mechanism called "projection" where thoughts and feelings you hate or find unacceptable in some way are denied and then projected onto others. You end up thinking, for example, someone else hates you when it's really you who hates yourself. Or if you find sexual feelings unacceptable, you project them onto your T and accuse him of flirting with you...

Here's a definition I found online:
Projection is the misattribution of a person’s undesired thoughts, feelings or impulses onto another person who does not have those thoughts, feelings or impulses. Projection is used especially when the thoughts are considered unacceptable for the person to express, or they feel completely ill at ease with having them. For example, a spouse may be angry at their significant other for not listening, when in fact it is the angry spouse who does not listen. Projection is often the result of a lack of insight and acknowledgement of one’s own motivations and feelings.

[always_wondering]

Originally Posted by ResaLock

Nice shot though...ummm but NO! lol

There is a lot of psychological research that is ridiculous. Especially Freudian ideologies. Where sounds very close to where your stemming your ideas from. Unfortunately I have studied him and much of so called Psychology.

My issues with him do not stem from childhood, but only what is happening now in the present. Also I am not sexual. He does not give me some long lost attention that I may not of gotten from my childhood. Its not some long lost mystery unsolved.

...next I cannot stand his superficial demeanor, which I have told him about often. I have literally and bluntly rejected some of his approaches to me. I am person who cannot stand superficial flattery. (he knows that, which I have explained to him and he does many times) I am not a person who needs to be bottle fed and nor even given a compliment.

He gives me no motherly type comfort and nothing I would never desire in a parent, spouse, or other.

YOUR WAY OFF!!! NICE TRY THOUGH... a little creepy ...but nice try...LOL
(I mean that humorously don't take it personal)

Oops. Oh well. Sorry@

[ResaLock]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

I'm not saying this is definitely going on with you, but here's something for thought.

There's a defense mechanism called "projection" where thoughts and feelings you hate or find unacceptable in some way are denied and then projected onto others. You end up thinking, for example, someone else hates you when it's really you who hates yourself. Or if you find sexual feelings unacceptable, you project them onto your T and accuse him of flirting with you...

Here's a definition I found online:
Projection is the misattribution of a person’s undesired thoughts, feelings or impulses onto another person who does not have those thoughts, feelings or impulses. Projection is used especially when the thoughts are considered unacceptable for the person to express, or they feel completely ill at ease with having them. For example, a spouse may be angry at their significant other for not listening, when in fact it is the angry spouse who does not listen. Projection is often the result of a lack of insight and acknowledgement of one’s own motivations and feelings.

Well, just letting you know...I am not projecting. He did make a pass at me, and has even fully stroked my hand. Literally wrapping his whole hand around mine, stroking it back slowly.

I have been hostile to him about it. Even calling him a perve ..well my exact words were, " I dont know what to think, if your some type of perve or just messing with my head trying to test me which is still wrong."

...and my insight and keen perceptive discernment is quite high

So I know that...just sayin'

[ResaLock]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

I'm not saying this is definitely going on with you, but here's something for thought.

There's a defense mechanism called "projection" where thoughts and feelings you hate or find unacceptable in some way are denied and then projected onto others. You end up thinking, for example, someone else hates you when it's really you who hates yourself. Or if you find sexual feelings unacceptable, you project them onto your T and accuse him of flirting with you...

Here's a definition I found online:
Projection is the misattribution of a person’s undesired thoughts, feelings or impulses onto another person who does not have those thoughts, feelings or impulses. Projection is used especially when the thoughts are considered unacceptable for the person to express, or they feel completely ill at ease with having them. For example, a spouse may be angry at their significant other for not listening, when in fact it is the angry spouse who does not listen. Projection is often the result of a lack of insight and acknowledgement of one’s own motivations and feelings.

I also do not make up things about people ...EVER
...so also saying you may be projecting your own on to me.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by ResaLock

I also do not make up things about people ...EVER

By definition you can't know whether you are using a defense mechanism. It's not something you choose to do, it's something your brain does subconsciously without your knowledge. I'm not saying that's happening for sure, but I do think it's important to seriously consider without writing off immediately.