Should I try to get in earlier?

So...I did some things last night that I kinda regret...and left me feeling...ashamed, guilty...and violated -- though that is a reaction to my past trauma, not to the situation itself.

I felt really overwhelmed with everything last night, and I ended up engaging in some self-destructive behavior...which I am finding I am wanting to do more...

I have an appointment for Friday...not sure she would even have anything else open...wondering if I should try to go in earlier...

suggestions?

I think it's wise to reach out to her, share what you posted here, and let her help you decide, see if she can fit you in or maybe work something else out, like a brief phone call, email, or something to help you.

Are emails an option?

I would certainly ask...it can't hurt! It sounds like a time you really need to speak with her as soon as you can. Does writing help you at all when you are dealing with so much? Safe hugs to you!

Definitely try to contact your T in some way.

Yeah...they don't do phone calls or email there. If I call it's to the receptionist...and they would probably give her a message...but SHE won't call me back.
I even utilized an online crisis chat last night...but ended up giving in

Then yes, I would definitely call the receptionist and tell her you need to book an extra session.

well...she had an opening for Wednesday at 11...but I have class...and it's a once a week class and grad school. I can't miss it.

they put me on cancelation list...but I am in tears.

Well, the question is, which will be more harmful to you- whatever self-destructive behavior you engaged in, or missing one class?

In the absence of an appointment, what other coping skills can you engage? Do you know any anti-anxiety exercises? Here's a link full of them I like: http://forums.psychcentral.com/post-...ptsd-too~.html

Writing here's a good one, what else has worked for you in the past?

I personally wear a "Keep Calm and Time Travel" button- it reminds me, if I can focus on two days from now, or an hour from now, or whatever period, that things will be different, the pressure I feel to act out will diminish.

Exercise, entertainment, talking to friends, indulging in favorite foods, music, etc. might all help too.

Well I spoke with my professor and made the appointment. I will her on Wednesday at 11am.

Quite anxious about it with everything going on.

Good for you. I am sorry it is anxiety-inducing. I hope it gets easier soon and you find lots of comforting things to help you through the wait.

Thank you Leah123.

I think I am going to do some journaling tomorrow to prepare for that session...I may be writing from a "script" but at least I will have thought it out.