Did EMDR for the 1st time and it was weird

Today I had my first session of EMDR. I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to feel anything. But I felt something and it was really weird. I had a laughing fit at one point and felt really dumb. I hate being out of control, especially with someone closely scrutinizing me. I felt almost like I was in a trance, really relaxed, body really heavy. I think I still have trouble feeling the hurt feelings. For about half an hour after I left I still felt like I was in a trance or drunk or stoned. I guess I was happy that it actually did something to me. I still don't trust that there will be any long lasting effects but we'll see.

I just recently had my first session too. I also felt sort of otherworldly afterwards. It was odd.

I've often wondered if EMDR would be helpful for me. I am curious about how people feel about the process, if you think it has been helpful. It makes me nervous because, like you hezaa82, I hate feeling like I'm not in some kind of control. I have read about it, what is supposed to happen, but I wonder what it's like from someone who has actually experienced it. Thank you for posting about your experience. How do you feel now, after more time has passed since the session, if I may ask?

I did EMDR last year and was a complete skeptic, I still am. I experienced this odd sensation of change in my body, especially my thought patterns toward what i did EMDR on. They say it works wonders for PTSD and fears you have. I only did it on my fears, It worked for awhile but with fears I just got a new one and now my T says I need EMDR on that fear. Pretty sure she just wants my money since it costs extra. I'm not sure if i will do EMDR again.

I've really been wanting to try this, but it makes me nervous. I fully expect it to be weird. If you are willing, it would be cool if you continue to share your experiences with EMDR! This approach is not discussed too much on the forum.

When someone writes about having their first session of EMDR I'm always curious, a bit worried and concerned... because I don't know if the T has actually followed the pure EMDR protocol as I'm now going to describe.

One of the initial phases (Phase 2, Phase 1 is more about history-taking) in EMDR therapy involves preparing for memory processing or desensitization (memory processing or desensitization - phases 3-6 - is often what is referred to as "EMDR" which is actually an 8-phase method of psychotherapy). In this phase resources are "front-loaded" so that you have a "floor" or "container" to help with processing the really hard stuff, as well as creating strategies if you're triggered in everyday life. In Phase 2 you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need.

For example, folks here have written about feeling weird or out of control, in a trance, drunk or stoned. And if that's the way you leave the T's office, it REALLY makes me concerned!

In phase 2 you learn how to access a “Safe or Calm Place” which you can use at ANY TIME during EMDR processing (or on your own) if it feels scary, or too emotional, too intense. One of the key assets of EMDR therapy is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you weren’t in the past, during traumatic events. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand, or any method of bilateral stimulation that feels okay) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing. During EMDR processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and say just a bit of what you’re noticing, anything different, any changes. The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable. And your therapist should be experienced in the EMDR therapy techniques that help make it the gentlest and safest way to detoxify bad life experiences and build resources.

Grounding exercises are essential. You can use some of the techniques in Dr. Shapiro's new book "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR." Dr. Shapiro is the founder/creator of EMDR but all the proceeds from the book go to two charities: the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program and the EMDR Research Foundation). The book is an easy read, helps you understand what's "pushing" your feelings and behavior, helps you connect the dots from past experiences to current life. Also gives lots of really helpful ways that are used during EMDR therapy to calm disturbing thoughts and feelings.

I'm a psychologist who uses EMDR therapy as my primary psychotherapy treatment and I've also personally had EMDR therapy for anxiety, panic, grief, and “small t” trauma. As a client, EMDR worked extremely well and also really fast. As an EMDR therapist, and in my role as a facilitator who trains other therapists in EMDR therapy (certified by the EMDR International Association and trained by the EMDR Institute, both of which I strongly recommend in an EMDR therapist) I have used EMDR therapy successfully with panic disorders, PTSD, anxiety, depression, grief, body image, phobias, distressing memories, bad dreams, and many other problems. It's a very gentle method with no significant "down-side" so that in the hands of a professional EMDR therapist, there should be no freak-outs or worsening of day-to-day functioning. EMDR therapy has a ton of excellent research behind it validating its efficacy.

In addition to my therapy practice, I roam the web looking for EMDR therapy discussions, try to answer questions about it posted by clients/patients, and respond to the critics out there. It's not a cure-all therapy, however, it really is an extraordinary psychotherapy and its results last. In the hands of a really experienced EMDR therapist, it's the most gentle way of working through disturbing experiences.

And, BTW, The World Health Organization has published "Guidelines for the management of conditions that are specifically related to stress: "Trauma-focused CBT and EMDR are the only therapies recommended for children, adolescents and adults with PTSD. Like CBT with a trauma focus, EMDR therapy aims to reduce subjective distress and strengthen adaptive cognitions related to the traumatic event. Unlike CBT with a trauma focus, EMDR does not involve (a) detailed descriptions of the event, (b) direct challenging of beliefs, (c) extended exposure, or (d) homework." (Geneva, WHO, 2013)

Here's an article published very recently that gives an excellent and thorough review and explantation of EMDR therapy:
The Role of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy in Medicine: Addressing the Psychological and Physical Symptoms Stemming from Adverse Life Experience, The Role of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy in Medicine: Addressing the Psychological and Physical Symptoms Stemming from Adverse Life Experience

Crimson Blues, yeah I'd be happy to continue to share my experiences. I'm always happy to have someone listen.

Pattijane, I did the grounding exercises with my previous therapist so this new therapist just picked up where she left off. The week before our first real EMDR session my homework was to practice going to my safe place.

Crimson Blue, it's been 12 hours since the session and I feel pretty normal, maybe slightly more relaxed. I still felt hurt when my friend responded to my text saying he doesn't have time to be there for me because he has a girlfriend...

Hi hezaa-

Thank you for responding. I would appreciate any information you have to offer about this-thank you. I am sorry to hear that your friend said they don't have time to be there for you. I know how painful that can be. But you do have people here who are listening-like me. I hope you continue to feel positive benefits from the EMDR. I wish you well.

EMDR | Living in the Well

I blogged about my experience. Rather than re typing it here it is.

Pattijane -

Thank you so much for your descriptions of this type of therapy. I have experienced my share of trauma that for a good while paralyzed my life. I heard about EMDR being helpful, but had trouble finding a description of the process. So I really appreciate your taking the time to do that from a place of professional knowledge.

I had one real EMDR session where we focused on one memory of my family being unfair to me. I can't think about it anymore without feeling totally disconnected from the scene now. Guess it worked, but my EMDR therapist retired and I haven't done EMDR ever since. It was really uncomfortable for me though. I don't think I would do it again.